Magic Cacti!

One of our employees was trying to convince my mom to buy a cactus for each desk in the office. You know, to absorb all the harmful radiation coming out of the computers. What the fuck?

I’m pretty sure she’ll end up convincing her to buy them too.

Do you need to surround the computer with them?

I am constantly amazed that some people even have enough brains to dress themselves in the morning. Cacti to absorb harmful radiation from computers? Really?

Yeah, but once they absorb all that radiation, they’ll mutate and want their own desks. She clearly hasn’t thought this through.

Maybe he was confusing cacti with mushrooms. They eat through radiation pretty well. As to why he thought that computers put out some sort of harmful radiation is left as exercise for the reader…

She’s got it all wrong. Cacti ‘repel’ radiation. We avoid cacti becuase they’re prickly and we don’t want to get pricked. Well radiation doesn’t want to get pricked either and avoids the cacti.

So if she arranged the cacti on her desk just right, they could funnel all the harmful radiation over to the twit in the next cubicle?

So if I make my computer background a picture of a cactus. And set a cactus in front of it, will that cause some sort of rift in the space-time continuum?

Doomsday device on a budget!

Well, I don’t wish to alarm you, but I’m pretty sure your monitor is throwing out some pretty intense electromagnetic radiation with frequencies as high as 750 trillion hertz RIGHT NOW! :eek:

Now, could I interest you in a couple of extra-large Cereus peruvianus? :stuck_out_tongue:

Tell her that tin foil works better and you don’t have to water it.

Didn’t those folks get the memo? Everyone knows that yuccas absorb radiation much better than cacti.

Don’t do it. You’ll be surrounded by mutants.

I have some ionic washer balls for sale.

P.S. Beware the mutant spiders that hatch out of the radioactive cacti.

Sooooooo … cacti : harmful radiation :: boxes of baking soda : foul odors.

Good to know. Now I know what to make a rad suit out of if ever we’re nuked.

Hey, uh, does she have something to absorb the fallout from chemtrails?

Last month I got an email at work stating that we needed to set onions out around the office because they would absorb the swine flu. Really.

And to think that the fools in the nuclear industry use lead and concrete to block radiation when they could be using cacti instead.

The best I can think here is that there is good botanical evidence of cacti making mighty effecient use of SOLAR radiation, as is their wonderful adaptation, and it got corrupted to a kneecapping of Radiation. This really would be a good Cecil question to debunk the funk.

It does block optical radiation if you put it between the screen and you.

They work great but they can be a real bitch to move around in.

Plus, you tend to look like a giant prick.