Today when checking the mail, I found my usual assortment of impossible-to-pass-up 0%-APR-for-the-first-week credit card offers, gas card offers, bank account offers, safeway coupons, big 5 sale notification of the day, and the obligatory important piece of mail for a neighbor that was inexplicably put in my box, I saw a key to one of the package box-things. Initially, I was confused, as I had recently won some eBay auctions, but the the auctions had only ended the day before, and I’ve never received a package internationally overnight.
When I opened the package mailbox receptacle thingy, I saw a box clearly labeled “Cabela’s”. I became more confused, as I had not ordered anything from Cabela’s in months (I’m more of a Sportsman’s Guide guy). Removing the box from the box, I saw “Your FREE Special Limited Edition Catalog” emblazoned on it.
No, I thought, surely even Cabela’s would never create a mass-mailing catalog so ginormous, so extragigantic that it would REQUIRE ITS OWN BOX.
Returning to my apartment, I opened the box, only to find a FREE, Special, Limited Edition Catalog about 12x8 inches, almost 2 inches thick. Hardbound even.
This monstrosity is bigger than any college textbook I’ve ever had with the exception of advanced biology and international economics.
It’s going to look wonderful sitting on top of the toilet tank.