Make Movie Titles Less Impressive

When I was a kid, there was a Saturday morning show called The Kids from C.A.P.E.R. In one episode, the villain was the Phantom of the Drive-In Movie.

I have to admit that I stole that one from a Gary Larsen comic.

Tollbridge Over The River Kwai

School Of Polka

Galileo del Toro’s Pistachio

Off-White and the Seven Achondroplasiacs

Reasonably Priced Guy

Easy Stroller

Farewell, My Cucumber

The French Phone Connection

Green Flashlight

Kiss Me Not Too Hard

Christmas-related Happenings on 34th St.

Wages of French Fries

Die With Difficulty

Reasonable Expectations

Baseball Field in the Corn

Texas Chainsaw Disagreement

Touch of Badness

The Object

zZz :sleeping:

So the coolest music you’ve ever heard starts playing, and starts building and building, to the point where you’re ready for a ’70s-style action hero so damn cool he’d make Sean Connery look like Roger Moore; and, finally, the lyrics start to tell the story:

Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?

JOHN!

You’re damn right! Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?

JOHN!

Can you dig it? Who’s the cat that won’t cop out when there’s danger all about?

JOHN!

Right on! They say this cat John is a baaad mother…

SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

But I’m talkin’ 'bout John!

THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

Beverly Hills Street Sweeper

Aluminumfoil Finger
Walks with Dachshund

Dr No But Well Maybe OK

Raiders of the Lost Remote

Las Vegas Jones and the Chapel of Love

Star Trek - The Search for Sock.

Pelvis

Bubble Trouble

It Happened at the Accountants Convention

The Nubble on Girls

Viva Gary Indiana

Sid Galahad

Mild in the Country

Gulls! Gulls! Gulls!

Crumbcake

Pee-ew Hawaii

Full Metal Ugly Christmas Sweater

Attack of the Somewhat Disruptive Tomatoes

The Man Who Shouted a Yo Mama Joke at Liberty Valance from Two Blocks Away

That Thing Where, Like, the Insurance Company Pays Twice the Amount—You Know What I’m Talking About, Right?

Tora…More Tora…Just Another Pinch of Tora

It came from Schenectady