Make the UK the 51st state!

[XT]

In this totally serious and thought provoking opinion piece on CNN, it’s proposed that to solve all of the UK’s woes they could vote, perhaps in a referendum, to become the US’s 51st state. I think this is a wonderful idea, and based on the recent referendum vote by the UK to leave the EU I think that the British voting public might just vote for it. Here are some of the top reasons:

First, there’s trade. Why was the UK an EU member in the first place? It wanted easy access to a huge trading bloc — the biggest in the world. However, U.S. GDP is only slightly below the EU’s economic output. We’re No. 2! In fact, by some estimates, California by itself is the world’s eighth-largest economy.

Second, there’s regulation. The Brits were sick and tired of being told how curvy bananas could be and whether eggs could be sold by the dozen. But by becoming the 51st state, the Brits would get no-fuss trading with all other U.S. states, without the pesky regulations. We’re so lax about regulation, we let kids eat mac and cheese with Yellow Dye No. 5 and No. 6 — both banned in Europe!

Third, there’s travel. Sure, as EU members, Brits have been able to get into the fast lane at European airports, making it practically effortless to see the Parthenon in Greece or the Colosseum in Rome. But do they know there’s a full-scale replica of the Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee? And did they forget about the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, which has been called “the greatest stadium in the world” by the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum website?

Fourth, there’s the overwhelming embrace Americans would give the Brits. We love everything the Brits do, everything the Brits make, and everything the Brits say (or at least the way they say it). I have friends on all sides of the political spectrum, and there’s one thing they all agree on: The UK is awesome. From Shakespeare to Sherlock, from the Royal Albert Hall to the royal family. And speaking of the “royals,” Queen Elizabeth II and company could simply merge with America’s royal family — the Kardashians. They have about the same power over the government, and they’re just as much fun to photograph.

I think this is an awesome idea that should be taken very seriously. Maybe we could even figure out a way to move the UK (or England, at least, since I doubt the Scots or Irish would go for this, despite all of the great benefits) closer to the US. Tugs, maybe, or a lot of sparrows (hey, it works for coconuts) grasping the country by the husk…

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

@XT

I think this is an awesome idea that should be taken very seriously. Maybe we could even figure out a way to move the UK (or England, at least, since I doubt the Scots or Irish would go for this, despite all of the great benefits) closer to the US. Tugs, maybe, or a lot of sparrows (hey, it works for coconuts) grasping the country by the husk…

Why would the United States want to inherit this charlie-foxtrot?

Stranger

[XT]

@Stranger_On_A_Train

Why would the United States want to inherit this charlie-foxtrot?

Stranger

In a word…accents, cool big ass clock, fish and chips, beer, foot ball played with actual feet (and great fans to go with that as well), great weather, wonderful dental care and real, actual royals and aristocrats (or even aristocats)…

(Ok, that was more than one word)

In the immortal words of that great Brit Austin Powers (who is actually played by a guy from Canada, of course), Yeah Baby!!

[boffking]

This would make 4th of July celebrations pretty awkward.

[XT]

@boffking

This would make 4th of July celebrations pretty awkward.

We just make June the 23rd Independence Day as well. Besides, if you saw the movie, the entire world will now consider the 4th of July as Independence day, since we did not go quietly into the night, did not go down without a fight…we were going to fight on, we were going to survive, we were going to…

USA…FUCK YEAH!!!

Oh, sorry, got wrapped up in the memories…

[Little_Nemo]

Who’s going to tell Betty?

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

@XT

In a word…accents, cool big ass clock, fish and chips, beer, foot ball played with actual feet (and great fans to go with that as well), great weather, wonderful dental care and real, actual royals and aristocrats (or even aristocats)…

We have pretty much all of that with the exception of the clock and the royals. I suggest we buy the former outright (we can probably get a pretty good deal once the UK needs to pawn it after their first year or so of their EU exit) and we could just make the Kardashians some kind of notional royalty without having to pay them a metric assload of money every year for doing pretty much fuck all.

If we’re not even going to get first refusal to the Scottish Hebrides, I don’t see how it is worth it. We’re far better off making Puerto Rico our 51st state despite what a mess it is.
Stranger

[wolfman]

@Little_Nemo

Who’s going to tell Betty?

Written communication is best in this sort of situation. Some sort of declaration of intent would work.

[John_Mace]

Can we just take England and maybe Wales. Not too keen on the Scotts and the Irish.

The great thing about Wales is how much you can save on keyboards. You only need the letters “L”, “W”, “D”, and “Y”.

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

I’ll pass on the jellied eels and cricket, thank you. I was going to say that we’ll take Hayley Atwell, but she appears to have dual citizenship, so I’m not sure what else we need from England. Yeah, done with the British, may they stew in their own repellant spotted dick pudding.

Stranger

[Alley_Dweller]

They would have to agree to stop using those ridiculous units of measure that the French foisted on the world and start using good old American units (inches, feet, pounds, etc) that normal people use.

[Peter_Morris]

@XT

it’s proposed that to solve all of the UK’s woes they could vote, perhaps in a referendum, to become the US’s 51st state.

Nice idea, but you’d have to agree to LOndon as your capital city, and the Queen as your sovereign.

[Gorsnak]

@XT

I think this is an awesome idea that should be taken very seriously. Maybe we could even figure out a way to move the UK (or England, at least, since I doubt the Scots or Irish would go for this, despite all of the great benefits) closer to the US. Tugs, maybe, or a lot of sparrows (hey, it works for coconuts) grasping the country by the husk…

Swallows. Not sparrows, swallows.

[Frodo]

@Gorsnak

Swallows. Not sparrows, swallows.

African or European?

[Little_Nemo]

@Alley_Dweller

They would have to agree to stop using those ridiculous units of measure that the French foisted on the world and start using good old American units (inches, feet, pounds, etc) that normal people use.

Those crazy Englanders. Pounds aren’t supposed to be a kind of money. Pounds are a unit of weight, set to the standard weight of one McDonalds Happy Meal.

[UDS]

@Stranger_On_A_Train

Why would the United States want to inherit this charlie-foxtrot?

In order to turn the whole country into a giant theme park called Englandland.

It’s a brilliant idea!

[Stranger_On_A_Train]

We have Wee Britain. I think that is more than sufficient.

Stranger

[panache45]

Depends who our next president is. If it’s Trump, we’ll have to build a wall around all the UK’s Muslims.

[Gatopescado]

Does this mean we get stuck with Piers Morgan again?

[Velocity]

Would this get even 1% of the British vote?