Make Up A Conspiracy/Rumour!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The other day, in order to bother a conspiracy nut I know, I concocted this rumour and would like to share it. I invite everyone who is privy to some horrible web of lies, or perhaps a dark plot of the vilest evil, to share their knowledge with the world! Anyway, here’s something ripe with the stench of mystery…
On February 3rd it has been reported that one Eric Braeden went to London, England and secretly exhumed the body of George Gordon. He took the body to Upper Bavaria, where he put it in cold storage. Braeden was next seen on February 23, in Rome. He entered the Protestant Cemetery under cover of night. Some hours later he was seen leaving with what appeared to be two bodies on a cart. His movements were then tracked back to London, where he was seen entering the Bunhill Fields Burial Ground at around 3am, carrying only a shovel. During the night he was seen leaving with what, again, appeared to be a body. After evading authorities in Bavaria again Braeden made for Glasgow, where he allegedly rented a car and headed south. He was sighted at a hotel in Grasmere. Later that night he was seen lurking about the graveyard at St. Oswald’s Church. Police found the next morning that a body had been exhumed. Braeden was next seen in London again. Eyewitnesses claimed he seemed to be inspecting St. Michael’s Church. The next morning the police made a shocking discovery, a desecration of a burial site in the church. Braeden again eluded capture and apparently escaped back to Germany. German police have reported that one Charles Brown had recently leased the former home of one Adam Weishaupt. Charles Brown is a known alias of Eric Braeden.
Within three weeks of Braeden’s apparent relocation to Germany Interpol tried, and failed, to intercept a shipment of chemicals and equipment being shipped to one Charles Brown, on their way from Moscow to Germany.
Three days after the chemicals were missed by Interpol Braeden apparently sent out fifteen thousand emails to various addresses in the United States. The emails contained a short message, which is as follows:

“After days and nights of incredible labour and fatigue, I succeeded in discovering the cause of generation and life. My writers have always tried to separate themselves from the sympathies of men, and indulge in arbitrary and capricious habits of expression, in order to furnish food for their fickle tastes, and fickle appetites, of their own creation."

Authorities are still uncertain as to the meaning, but advise caution. Rumours that Braeden is somehow connected to at least one secret organization abound, and it is unknown at this time if they are accurate.

2

Soylent Green is people.

In 5000 years, Apes rule Man.

Han shot first.

3

No lie, really no lie.

I am going on vacation in a week and so I have a pocket of US banknotes. I passed them around in class today. It is a good way to get the students to ask questions in English.

They were very excited by the US twenty. (I only had an old non-color version on me.) They claimed that there is a small picture of Osama BL in the background or watermark or something.

I swear!

Anyone got one handy to look at?

4

In the words of my father:

“That’s a nasty, vicious, untrue rumor that I’m starting…”

5

If Bush gets elected to a second term, it is his intention to have all athiests declared mentallly incompetent and rounded up and interred in mental ‘hospitals’ run under the auspices of his ‘faith-based initiatives’
Something like that? Sorry I didn’t take more time to work on it, but I’m covering my entire house with tinfoil and I’m quite busy at the moment.

6

I suppose you think it is a coincidence that the space shuttle that crashed was carrying an Israeli, and that it broke up over Palestine, TX?

7

this is actually true but it sounds so weird people think its a rumor a civilian contractor for the military is hiring Amish around here to go to help with the rebuilding of Iraq since Amish are known around here to be good carpenters and can build at a faster pace than most people since they worked together their whole lives and the Amish having beards will help them fit in better

8

I’ve smuggled guns to every civil war, coup, uprising, and general disturbance since 1947.

In fact, one of the current ones was entirely my creation, to sell more weapons.

9

Not to belittle the Space Shuttle tragedies but something to ponder - there have only been 2 such tragedies - both of which were launched in January.

We’ve all heard that it is the large mega-corporations that really control the government of the USA if not the world. People usually think of corporations such as Bechtel, Halliburton and perhaps even Microsoft of being the “real power”. Well, I’m going to release the name of the true power running the whole world - the Mr Bubble Corporation of Bismark, North Dakota. (Now I must fear for my life - but the truth is out !!!)

10

A while ago I had an assignment to write out what I thought happened to Kennedy…

I wrote some off the wall story that had Kennedy shooting himself after using the time machine someone gave him ( I don’t think I explained that part in the story on purpose). I didn’t pass that assignment, but it was worth it.

11

In support of the Israeli astronaut dying over Palestine, TX, we might note that former POW Jessica Lynch is from Palestine, WV.
It’s a conspiracy, I’m tellin’ ya.

12

My aunt was in a wal mart in Mexico and a young Iraqi family was trying to check out but they were having trouble communicating with the check out person- The check out person was growing increasingly annoyed with their inability to understand spanish and was loudly admonishing the husband and wife about how they should go back to their country. My cousin, who was shopping with my aunt, intervened and told the checker to calm down and give them a chance. the Iraqi family was so grateful at someone coming to their aide and helping them out that they told my cousin and aunt to stop drinking coca- cola. That the al-qaeda had planned to use coca cola as the means to spread a horrible plague in america since we drink it like water.

Ta da- True story. I swear.

13

Everybody’s heard how college sororities don’t have their own houses, because of state laws decreeing that any residential building that is home to more than six unrelated adult women, and has not been subdivided into separate units, is automatically considered a brothel.

The truth is that there used to be such laws in 47 states. (Alaska and Hawaii never had a need. Louisiana follows French common law, which allows for almost any residence or business to qualify as a brothel, and so there’s really no point in a separate law aimed at colleges.) In the social revolutions of the 1960s, the college Greek system was involved in a lot of protests – at some colleges, they were the targets of protests as often as they were the organizers. After a few major efforts to have popular sororities banned as whorehouses, the Greek system started using the same laws to have 8-person college dorm suites busted for prostitution. (Naturally, these counter-protests were directed only at women’s dorms, because the laws only applied to women living together, never to men.)

Lawsuits inevitably followed. Iota Delta Tau v. Dakota State University upheld the North Dakota brothel law, while Gamma Delta Iota v. Texas Institute of Technology overturned the Texas law. The conflicting rulings were combined into one Supreme Court case, In Re Greek System (1967), which ultimately determined that the automatic-brothel laws were “one big f–king mess.” (In the words of the 6-3 majority opinion.) SCOTUS directed Congress to clean up this mess, and to put together a uniform system for the states to follow.

The result was the Prostitution Regulation, Uniform Demographics, and Enrollment Act of 1969. This Federal law effectively pre-empted the state laws, by offering bounteous grants to states that changed their prostitution laws to comply with the Act. The Act removed all automatic presumptions of a residence being a brothel based solely on who resided in the building. The Act also acknowledged the 1960s-style sexual libertine culture, and placed a very strict standard on law enforcement efforts to prosecute college students for prostitution. Finally, the Act required brothels to comply with state zoning, business, and occupational health regulations, including licensing and inspections, just like any other labor-intensive business.

By the middle of the 1970s, all 47 relevant states were in compliance with the Act, and had repealed their old automatic-brothel laws. Alaska and Hawaii still didn’t have a need, and Louisiana continued to follow French custom (which treats prostitution as more of a cultural pasttime than an independent occupation). Regrettably, enforcement of the updated laws did not keep pace with the legal changes, as the geographic areas most affected by the updated laws – urban colleges – were the same areas that at the time were beginning their long slide into urban decay, with its attendant corruption in city government. Philadelphia’s issues in its Department of Licensing and Inspections has been well documented, even into the 21st century.

14

You’ve got to love speculation, hersay, and rumor.

Some friends and I go to this magic convention every year and camp out. Well, in the past few years, we have been responsible for starting some really funny rumors at this convention… and people attending the convention were really believing them too. Here are a few of them:

Convention, 2000: Word spread around the convention that in a recently discovered lost diary, the late great “Professor”, Dai Vernon, had admitted he was homosexual. (FYI, Dai Vernon is considered one of the greats of modern magic.)

Convention, 2001: After finding a copy of what looked like an official Whitehouse letter to the convention organizer, word spread like wildfire among conventioners that the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, were going to come to the Friday evening show. This one even reached the local radio station as well.

Convention, 2002: A copy of an article in the local gazette circulates around the convention. It has interviews with some local farmers about crop circles that have recently shown up around the convention site. The article even has a picture of one of them (It appears to be in the shape of a racoon!)

So what rumor will Convention, 2004 bring… we will have to see, but I’m sure it will be a doosey.