eight maids [albeit in the act of milking (cows?), posing logistical challenges]
nine ladies
ten lords
11 pipers
12 drummers (jesus christ)
Ok…I’m trying to figure out how in heavens to etsy can one really qualitatively appreciate these items, especially in relation to comparative worth to one another. < (was that redundantly expressed, just there? Could I have eliminated the “to one another” part?)
Because really, on the face of it, If I had my choice of these pickins, I’d just bloody bugger off to the pawn with the rings. Lightwieght, quick cash remuneration, done and done.
Being stuck with a gaggle of foul, or ELEVEN (!!!) bloody bag-pipe players, honking away…maybe some village idiot might be piqued by such commodities.
With the nine ladies dancing - I don’t know where to start. It’s not like I have any Hef-like grotto for them to lounge around in.
So, as you can see, it’s all a mess, so it’s a matter, then, of sorting through all this crap to determine - ok, what can I get out of this? Which of these items further my wellness, make me aspire to be a better person?
If you folks could just plunder and pilfer through all of this, explain what would be prioritized, and why.
There is a theory that all of them are references to birds. So maybe just a large aviary. And since you wind up with 364 of them, maybe you kill or release one a day for the rest of the year.
Meaning - all 12 X-Mas days represent birds? Is this a common knowledege sort of theory? Not sure how days 8 - 12 (and that lucrative no. 5!) transmogrify into the avian thing.
Something tells me I’m completely misreading you again, but isn’t there only one pear tree, not 12? I’m sure I’m braincramping, somewhere, wierd egg nog, and all…
Regardless, 12 trees are better than one - better yield, hence way more useful, so I like where you’re going…
Depending on the timeframe and cultural standing, those birds make for a fine set of holiday meals – especially if you have feed your new staff of entertainers, and farm workers.
I wanna know what’s with lords a leaping. Seriously, are knighthoods that expensive, that they hire themselves out? Don’t they have estates that they have to provide Christmas dinners for – are are they so hard up, they roam around, leaping for meals?
I won’t tell you what they leap upon. Some of those ladies may never dance again. (Alan Thicke told that joke on his talk show … many years ago.)
That’s the old rumor. It usually starts from the idea that the gold rings was common name for a type of bird, and then people extrapolate the rest. It’s not a very good theory.
You read me correctly. Each of the twelve days ends with you a partridge in a pear tree. So you wind up with 12 trees and 12 partridges.
Doing the math, you get a total of 364 presents if you consider the partridge/pear tree combo a single present"
1 * 12 (days) = 12 partridges in (12) pear trees
2 * 11 = 22 turtle doves
3 * 10 = 30 French hens
4 * 9 = 36 colly (or calling) birds
5 * 8 = 40 gold(en) rings
6 * 7 = 42 geese a-laying
7 * 6 = 42 swans a-swimming
8 * 5 = 40 maids a milking
9 * 4 = 36 drummer drumming*
10 * 3 = 30 pipers piping*
11 * 2 = 22 ladies dancing*
12 * 1 = 12 lords a-leaping*
*I used the version published in 1780 for the order of the last four gifts. I, like nearly everyone, have trouble remembering the order, so I thought I’d go with the earliest.
I always wondered if the song verses meant that the giver was giving repeated presents, or just adding a new present and reminding what they had already given? 364 presents with a large number of duplicates seems awfully excessive.
If it is the former, with 30 drummers drumming you could perform a kickass cover of Fleetwood Mac’s song ‘Tusk’ or Paul Simon’s ‘Rythym of the Saints’ album.
I always imagined this as the song of some medieval “kept” woman in some remote part of the castle out of the queen’s sight. Starved for companionship and diversion, the king gifts her an assortment of pets and entertainment. The gold rings were a test of her devotion to her “true love”, since she could use these to bribe the guards and elope with the stable boy.
Yeah the leaping lords thing. Were the gentry given to spontaneous jigs, or trying to stave off the ravages of venereal disease, or what, I dunno, but it seems to me their jumping / flinging abilities would not, in any way, serve them much use, other than to establish themselves as silly fops.
You use the maids and the ladies to seduce the lords. The lords pass legislation to subsidize your cattle-and-poultry farm. The pipers and drummers form a band to march in the New Year’s Day parade to advertise your farm, in order to sell the milk, eggs, meat, and fois gras.
