This is either funny: you put an ASS sticker on their locker, or horrific: their family’s homes burned to the ground.
My name is Peter. When I was a young child every adult with a yen for teasing young children would haul out that old joke: “If Pete and repeat were sitting on a fence…” As a preschooler, I fell for it every time and many of the teasing adults would carry it on way too long. In grade school I got a lot of “Peter Pumpkin eater” until I started reacting with force. The force increased when my name was compared to the slang term for penis. By about sixth grade my friends and acquaintances got the message and left it alone. This process caused me quite a few detentions in school. Outside of school I was sometimes over matched and came out the worse for wear.
My maiden last name is an Italian name. No one could ever pronounce it correctly. The first day of school with new teachers was always cringe-worthy for me. In high school someone decided that my last name should be changed to the name of a spaghetti sauce. He loved to shout it down the halls whenever he saw me coming and of course all of his minions would laugh like it was the greatest joke of all time. I don’t remember it bothering me too much. It was more of an eye-roller for me.
I’m a little salty about being made fun of for my Bugle Boy pants, which I got a couple years before they became massively popular.
My last name is onomatopoetic. People would sometimes repeat the sound several times as a joke, but that didn’t bother me. I mean, that’s a pretty weak joke and I don’t remember it ever getting any laughs from anyone.
It’s really effective if they aren’t sure which one it will be.
Even common names get the treatment. I have a cousin named Richard. Every time we got together my father would sing, “Open the door, Richard.” That was a popular song from the 40s. Apparently my father was the only person to have ever heard of this song, so it became a stupid annoyance.
Good thing my cousin didn’t call himself Dick.
We hired a guy at work - Richard Ball. When he introduced himself, he made a point of carefully emphasizing “Hi, I’m Richard. Not Rick, or Rich, or anything else.” Everyone was very professional and adult about it, but we couldn’t help but think, “Boy, I bet he had a tough childhood!”
Hope it wasn’t Prego. Ragu wouldn’t be too bad.
I grew up with a last name that is a type of food, and also a noun used for medical preparations. The teasing was brutal and never-ending. It’s the kind of name that even adults snicker at. I decided as soon as I was an adult to change it by getting married (a mistake, to be sure). When I got divorced I kept my married name out of self-defense. It’s had enough to do things like interview for a job without dealing with the inevitable snickers.
My wife had a similar experience with her maiden name – the name is very similar to a common word, meaning “crazy.” She got teased about her name a lot as a kid.
When we got engaged, I asked her if she wanted to keep her maiden name, or change to mine (which, as noted above, is also an unusual name). She said, “what, are you kidding? After all the teasing I got for my name? I want to change to your name!”
An old submission from an old thread:
My name is Richard, and have always been called Dick by family, partly to differentiate from my dad, who was “Rich”. It didn’t take me too many school days before preferring to being called Rich. Once I visited my dad at work, and he introduced me to his coworker as Dick. Response: “he looks like a dick!” Witty, am I right? It still irks me to this day that my dad laughed too 
ding
Call holding for Sarah Shaved-Nuts on line 4.
Can’t even explain how much heat I took in 4th grade for wearing clean new BugleBoy shoes from these little rich fuckers whose dads were executives for Nike and Reebok and had brand new Air Jordan pumps, etc on the regular.
I, for one, would love to have been named Matlock Heinz.
You two could’ve picked a “normal” last name… When I got married, I kind of wanted to do that; symbolizing the two of us making a new family. Second choice, take my wife’s name, which was easy to spell.
Nope, even though it looks sexist, she was sick of her simple name and wanted to take my odd Swiss gotta-spell-it-slowly-then-correct-the-person-twice name.
My first name only rhymes with one word so not much fun to be had there. More fun can be hand with my surname, but the humor in it is more adult and I’m often the first one to make fun of it. But kids tried with everyone, I’m sure I did with a couple of kids’ names, though I don’t remember it.
If someone were to try to make fun of my name now, I’d be very surprised.
Interesting suggestion. We never even considered that. 
In my case, I stopped being bothered by my last name by high school (i.e., around the time that it stopped being something that classmates would tease about).
In grade school and high school, people rarely made fun of my name. I could count the number of times on one hand. But they did make fun of several other idiosyncrasies.