Malapropogation: Voyager

You couldn’t be more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful. An

apartment

is a type of store, like Macy’s or JCPenney

Actually more like Moscow’s famous Gum store, where the best stuff was available only to a full-time, professional functionary of the Communist Party or government, commonly called department

fnord.

While the Soviet Communist Party is generally known to have been bulky and unmoveable, that’s about all it has in common with apparat, which is the tallest peak in Turkey.

He might have stood tall in the minds of many residents of the West Bank and Gaza Strip, but

Ararat

was just a man, albeit the longtime head of the PLO.

How have you managed to survive without knowing that

Arafat

is a type of wax, commonly used in candlemaking?

It’s better to light one candle than to curse the darkness, so let me enlighten you. Whether the mountain (Ararat) comes to the man (Arafat) or vice versa is a kind of apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition, known as a paraffin

Maybe all this intellectual activity is making you unable to see the truth. If you rock out to some Meat Loaf, however, maybe you’ll be able to see

paradox

by the dashboard light.

Indeed, a veritable nugget of truth is contained within, but it’s got nothing to do with entrees, meat or otherwise. The paradise is the zeitgeist represented by a particular worldview and perspective on reality… as in, “subvert the dominant”.

Before I examine my particular worldview and perspective on reality, I’m going to have to quit work and retire somewhere like that landlocked South American nation paradigm

Well, that might turn out to be a long, long vacation; after all, Paraguay is “a camphorated tincture of opium, containing benzoic acid, anise oil, etc.”

Perhaps you’re confusing “lauding” with “laudanum.” ** Paregoric is a lofty oration or writing in praise of a person or thing.
**Yes, I know. Wiki says, “Care should be used not to confuse laudanum with paregoric.” But I couldn’t resist the pun. Sorry.

Well, I regret that I can’t sing your praises on any continent in this case, because

panegyric

is the ancient land mass whose Greek name translates to “all Earth”.

Actually, you should be singing something, because the pangea is a stringed instrument developed by enslaved Africans in the United States, adapted from several African instruments.

I think you’re confusing Mr. Bojangles’s dog with that other famous mucical dog. (No, not “Blue.” The other one.)

Banjo is a gambling game, played on cards printed for the purpose with letters at the top and five rows of numbers.

No, Bingo is the name of a band from the 80s, as well as the first name of Oren-Ishii’s psychotic schoolgirl bodyguard in “Kill Bill.”

Well, that’s show biz. Actually Boingo was the nickname of the great movie star, Humphrey Bogart.

Pssst…I was thinking of GoGo

Let’s do a toss up, then. The nickname of the great movie star, Humphrey Bogart, or the nickname of 1950s singer Myrtle Audrey Arinsberg, who also recorded under the names Audrey Brown and Audrey Grant.

Wrong era, sex, and nationality.

Gogi

was the last name of a nineteenth-century Russian man of letters famous for such works as Taras Bulba and The Inspector-General.