Male Sexual Rite of Passage

In My Humble Opinion
41

Guys, if a very good male friend of yours approached you and mentioned masturbating together, would you take him up on the offer? Why or why not?

No

What if it were a group of friends- I guess something like a “compare yours to mine” session?

No

Would you (or have you been) be the initiator?

No

Why not? Because that’s pretty freakin’ gay, dude.

Actually a lot of those guys are probably latent homosexuals. A friend of mine in college, after coming out of the closet, told me that he used to see a surprising number of guys from the “hypermasculine jock” fraternities at the gay bars he frequented.

42

Um…you sit there. I’ve never heard anyone do otherwise. That’s part of the reason I never understood guys getting together to watch porn. Why?

Um…no again. Ya know, I am somewhat voyeuristic, and I certainly would have enjoyed the show had it ever happened, but, alas, it never has. And I thought I had relatively sexually liberated friends, but they never just started fucking like rabbits in front of other friends.

What an interesting life you lead.

43

I’m male, 17, and have never once, before this thread, even thought about something like this occuring. It just seems weird. Either be homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or goatsexual. Just don’t be sexual on, near, or around me if you don’t meet my view of the above critereon.

44

I agree, based on the extreme improbability that our lives are so extraordinarily rare and improbable.

First, at all my boy scout camps, such activity was widespread – I could see all the blankets going up and down right next to each other (in bunk-type camps). Some boys would even talk about it, almost bragging. I never had a tent mate who didn’t do it, and statistically estimating, they obviously weren’t all gay.

Second, on another (mostly religious, overwhelmingly straight) board, a straight young man of 17 said he did it all the time with his best (male) friend – even though he had a girlfriend – and others posted in reply that they had done so also in their youth.

Third, during my youth well more than half the boys in my suburban neighborhood played sex games with the others back in the woods or down at the lake or in still-uncompleted homes under construction. Usually this would include mutual masturbation. I still know a few of these (married) men, and it’s clear they wouldn’t admit their past behavior for all the gold and pussy in the universe. I am certain they would lie about it to their dying breath.

Finally, I’m pretty sure Kinsey and Masters and Johnson and others have reported that homosexual play among adolescent and pre-adolescent males is very common (far more common than is being admitted here!). The percentage is something like 60%, and it is utterly impossible to believe that mutual (or at least, same room) masturbation doesn’t make up the overwhelming majority of such play.

There is a scientific principal that hold that there is nothing rare or unique in this part of the universe compared to others. In a similar vein, I cannot believe that my experiences are so extraordinarily different than elveryone else’s.

45

Gah! Make that “principle”, please!

46

So far it’s about 14-3 for “no” in this thread, just in counting the posters themselves who I felt gave firm, hard answers. It’s a poor way to count, so how’s this grab you?

The 14 people who said no can only account for themselves; I can say with confidence that I never was in this situation but that just gives me a firm grip on my own situation.

On the other hand, the 3 people who said yes are reporting the presence of an unknown number of mutual participants. Should their votes count for 5 people each to include the other people who lent a hand? Ten people each? Twenty? Is this why Kinsey rated the phenomenon as being so common?

From the sound of the stories I’ve heard it sounds as if this is a bonding thing done in boy scout troups, football teams, and other male youth groups. I quit Cub Scouts in 3rd grade and didn’t participate in any organized all-male groups throughout the rest of high school except mandatory P.E.

47

I was a Cub, a Scout and an Air Cadet, and I’ve never seen, nor participated in, anything of the kind. Neither would I have been interested.

48

Nope, never did anything like this with a guy, nor have I ever been invited to do anything like this by another guy. The closest was my freshman year in college, being woken up by the sound of the bunk bed creaking back and forth because my roommate was too lazy to go the the bathroom to attend to his needs.

I have, however, been with a number of women who were into it (both as audience and performer), and that was quite a bit of fun.

But guys? Nope, just not interested.

49

One does not have to posit lying to explain the discrepancy. It might just be people who have never encountered it to be more willing to post than those who have encountered it.

FTR: Never even knew it existed until this thread.

50

Well, I thought it was pretty weird, but it might not be considering what some people seem to be used to:

One of the regular pairs of guys who buy and rent porn at our store are an older guy in his 60s, and a younger guy who looked to be in his mid-20s. The age difference was a bit unusual, but I didn’t think too much about it. They only ever buy adult movies, and they do so fairly regularly; usually the older guy pays. For what it’s worth, the porn, as far as I remember, was always straight.

A few weeks ago I was in the mall buying a cup of coffee when I recognized the cashier as the older guy. I thought the polite thing to do would be to pretend like I didn’t recognize him, but he had no such reservations – he quickly identified me as the “video store guy” and started talking about how good our selection of movies is, our good prices, etc. “Yep,” he says, “I need to get my grandson and get back over there soon.” “Wait,” I said, startled;“that guy you come in with is your grandson??” “Yes sir!” he says, handing me my coffee.

I should point out that the stuff we sell is not soft-core erotica, Playboy stuff – it’s hard-core, in all its varieties. (For all the business it brings in, it probably repels a fair number of customers as well.) So I ask you: what kind of grandfather goes porn-shopping with his grandson – and then starts talking about it in the middle of the mall with a perfect stranger?? I feel awkward when I’m watching TV with my dad and something too explicit comes on, and I sure wouldn’t be caught dead in a porn store with him – much less my granddad! I don’t know if that guy and his grandson watch the porn together, and frankly I prefer not to think about it.

51

I am almost embarrassed to admit this. I went to stay at my grandmother’s house for a few days last summer (She is 80. I am 32 and I rarely see her although we have always been close). The second night there, she asked me if I wanted to see something funny. I say “yes” and she pops in this movie. It was this fetish “horsey” play" movie where people like to get dressed up and ridden as horses. That was weird enough but then it switched over to women having sex with hyper-realistic sex manequins. We had a big laugh over it.

Thre must be something about me. Not one person in my whole life has ever whipped out illegal drugs in front of me. That is something that I hear is common. However, many, both male and female have felt free to whip out all kinds of sex things in front of me. I think that it is because I seem so somber and objective about it the whole time.

52

I only wish.

Seriously, the only games of these sort happened when we were all much younger. Nothing during adolescence, when I would have killed to get some.

53

You mentioned you’re from Louisiana; maybe it’s partly a Southern thing – I’ve always had the impression that things are a bit looser down there compared to the more Puritan north. I have one set of grandparents who live down South, and when I stayed with them as a kid they let me stay up late and watch HBO; my Massachusetts grandparents, on the other hand, when I stayed with them for a summer when I was 13 or so, wouldn’t let me watch any movies rated over G. So…

Having said that, HBO is a looooong way from watching sex movies with grandma… I dunno, maybe your personality does seem to welcome this type of thing; personally, it boggles my mind.

54

This is a very interesting thread for me because it seems to want to explore some of the thinking – or feeling – behind ‘straight’ men’s refusal or acceptance of invitations to override traditional sexual boundaries between men. I’m gay, no bones about it, but I’ve strayed into pussy territory more than a few times, and have for the most part loved my experiences there; they weren’t anything for me to marry, but my experiences with sex with women have been almost entirely positive (but for the occasional wistfulness about how much “easier” things would be if I were heterosexual). I’ve always been honest with the women involved about the fact that I’m unalterably attracted to men first and foremost, though I didn’t feel that was a reason why we couldn’t enjoy each other, that being understood. I treasure these relationships, but I’m still a gay man. Not bisexual, but definitely much more strongly attracted to men than to women.

So I’ve thought at times that it might be an easier world if my Sexual Flexibility Option ™ were more widely adopted. (Paypal, VISA, MC, LOL)

I’m really interested in: what’s the problem here? Yeah, I know there’s no ‘problem’, if anybody has a ‘problem’, it’s me, etc. etc., but seriously – wouldn’t it be a more peaceful world if the following scenario were more common?:

(Scene: A suburban/urban/rural household. Randy, a long-suffering truck driver with three kids and an expensive wife, who just doesn’t happen to be ‘giving him any’ for, oh, about the past year, yells out to his wife – "Hey honey, I’m just going across the street to Bangiadore’s for a quick blowjob – back in about an hour!’)

WIFE: What? That’s the fourth time this week you’ve gone over there for a blowjob! What, are you crazy? (Drops meatloaf, lifts apron, revealing her pudendum, adorned by now with a perfectly-shaved heart made out of pubic hair) Come on here, drop sumpn’ in my bowl – take your shoes off! – I need a little in my bowl!

[Audience goes wild]

See how easy it could all be? Everybody gets more of what everybody wants. (Assuming that more people spend time wishing they could be getting off right now than doing whatever they’re doing (though I could be very, very wrong about this). I mean, it seems that maybe all of this has some little something to do with cultural conditioning, no?

The OP asked ‘why?’ in addition to ‘have you ever been involved in…?’.

“Just not for me thanks [eewww].”, is not an answer. Why do you believe that the taboo against sharing an orgasm – something everybody likes – with a same-sex (specifically, male, and even only just as mutual spectators) is valid? Every man likes an orgasm, and almost every man likes a blowjob, unless I’m really missing absolutely crucial (the absence of female pheromones doesn’t count) detail. Maybe I am, and if so, I’d like to know. What is it? Because, y’know, I could go either way on this…

55

Never had this experience. Of course, I was a good Mormon kid while I was growing up, and masterbation itself was wrong, so comparing yourself to someone else would be right out.

56

I’ve wondered that myself. When I was a teen, 30ish years ago, nobody, not nobody, would ever admit to masturbating. “Jerk off!” was an insult, not a compliment.

Why, I even recall having a girlfriend and we were messing around one day, we were probably 15. Me, in my naive way, and still figuring out how to please a girl in the sack and wanting to do better, asked her where exactly her “clit” was. Wow, that was it: she angrily huffed that I was accusing her of masturbating, since that’s the only way she could ever know where her clit was. How dare I! :eek:

57

Ok first of all, I too was in the Boy Scouts and summer camp and I saw none of that shit. We had once kid who used to pull down his pants and whatnot. He also happened to be the cabin fuckup who no one liked.

Secondly, if you’re masterbating with another guy, that, by definition, is very much freakin gay!

Third, we just played basketball or stickball or whatever in our suburbs.

Finally, I’m pretty sure Kinsey and Masters and Johnson are full of shit.
The shit you describe seems really freaking weird to me. Quite frankly, other than the occasional friend with a propensity for streaking or making scrotum puppets or other exhibitionism, I have never even heard of anyone doing that stuff. Why would I (as a straight dude) want to share a magical masterbation moment with my friends?

We had a kid in summer camp who constantly exposed himself and whatnot. He was pretty much the cabin outcast. I have to think that such behavior is the exception, not the norm.
It feels good taking a big shit too. It’s not something I want to share with the entire neighborhood.

58

OK,

I have this older brother. I’ve mentioned him before, as in, that brother I don’t even speak to anymore. Anyway, he is just a little less than two years older than me and only one school grade older. So one weekend night we are driving back from some school function and he decided to go to the drive-in. The drive-in that is showing Flesh Gordan. Not Flash. Flesh.

(How there could be a drive-in showing Flesh Gordan in Oklahoma City in 1980, I don’t know.)

So he hops into the back seat and I hear his belt come off and he starts breathing really hard. I stay in the front seat. I really didn’t want to watch the movie but there was no force in Heaven, on Earth or in Hell that could have got me to look in the backseat.

‘Come on Zebra’ He entreated.

I say nothing. I can not move.

“Come on.”

“No” I finally replied.

He zips up and climbs back into the driver seat and we go home.
I told a therapist about this incident and she tried to tell me this was normal and that boys do a circle jerk, (my other thread). I explained that those aren’t real to her but I don’t think she believed me.

59

Because they are called “boundaries” for a reason.

Is there a right way to take that story?

I don’t think I need ANY friends who I’m THAT close with.

60

I never experienced such a thing, either in school or in the Army. Particularly in the military, guys were pretty open about the fact that they did masturbate but there wasn’t any initiative to make it a group activity.