Worst jewelry commercial ever is the one where the woman and her man are in the courtyard full of birds. The man screams “I LOVE THIS WOMAN” at the top of his lungs, the birds all fly away, and the woman looks completely humiliated.. But then he gives her a diamond, so all is good. She’s basically a total bitch until she gets a rock.
I hate jewelry commercials most of the time, but Xmas time is when they really bring on the hate.
Jewelry is decorative. It serves no purpose other than that. (at least for the context of this thread…but in our culture, I cannot think of another use for it…enlighten me, if I am wrong)
I love my wife, and I am lucky. I don’t need to buy her an overpriced trinket to prove it. She doesn’t WANT them. She’s always claimed to want something usable for Xmas other than jewelry. These commercials make me sick because somewhere some idiot is using his credit card to buy something that really serves no useful purpose.
Now, I have no problem with jewelry as a whole. I just don;t like the idea that I have to prove I care by going to Jareds or whatever else. Because, really, Kays, Jareds, etc…they ain’t selling anything we really need.
I have some nice jewelry, reasonably inexpensive stuff [mainly slides from Lia Sophia, and the gold and silver flat chain to hang them on] and I bought them all myself for myself. mrAru gets me books, DVDs, music … stuff we both can sit and enjoy. Neither of us is into much in the way of flashy jewelry. I gave him a gshock watch once, because his had just died, so that is about as close to exchanging jewelry we have come.:rolleyes:
I seem to remember a real stomach-turner where the guy puts a nice big shiny engagement ring on the woman’s finger, and as she stares at it in shock and awe, all their friends and relatives come crawling out of the woodwork. And I THINK all started clapping and applauding. Gag me! :mad: When I came home sporting an engagement ring, all excited and happy, MY parents’ reaction was basically dead silence. A bit later, words to the effect I should go show someone who would give a shit. Yeah, that was a day to remember and treasure.
What ever happened to the three dangly diamonds pendant? Were they too expensive for the unemployed to afford? My mother said, “it looks like a worm!” and son of a gun, all I could think of ever after was, a diamond worm.
For what it’s worth, I think that’s supposed to be “weak in the knees”.
This must be the worst nightmare come true for Jared. For Americans, the name Jared means a dude that lost weight eating Subway sandwiches. Jared means turkey sandwich, not fine jewelry. They should give up and change their name.
I’m gonna start a manure company. We will carry the finest bear shit we can find. I’ll call it De Bears.
Another vote for Ron White.
I think it’s even worse than that. There’s no implication that he was spending money on necessities. I always got the impression that his unpardonable sin was to get her a diamond from someplace other than Jared. What other action could be worthy of such scorn?
The link in the OP is one of the least offensive jewelery ads I’ve seen. “Buy useless, shiny baubles” is pretty much the universal jewelery ad message; no reason to single this one out for that. I did notice at the beginning that strong, capable woman is skating up a storm while lunkhead, doofus man can’t even stand up without help[sup]*[/sup]. But he redeems himself by giving her the right present, purchased from the right store. Some woman probably told him where to shop.
The alternate interpretation is that he’s so caring and sensitive that he’s doing an activity she likes but he’s not very good at. There usually isn’t an alternate interpretation.
There’s a commercial for a Phoenix area jewelry store; I don’t think it’s a national chain but I can’t recall. Anyway, Social Distortion’s version of “Ring of Fire” is playing and there’s a hot girl wearing a tank and a pair of boy shorts walking around the house with a giant garbage bag chucking all of her burr-headed boyfriend’s stuff. He looks like a roadie, and she knocks over his picture on her nightstand.
She opens the front door to toss it outside and he’s standing there with a sheepish look on his face. She gives him a, “WTF do YOU want look,” and he opens up a jewelry box with a necklace or some such in it. She drags him in the house by his lapels, then you cut to a shot of her hand reaching up to flip his picture back up.
The slogan is something like, “When she’s HOT, give her ICE.”
Stupid stupid stupid.
Or February.
Is that the one that ends with the fiancee proclaiming “I…went to Jared!”? I want to tell him “I…don’t CARE!”
I hate that lightning one, too.
But I hate them all a little less when they play right before a delightfully tacky Cash 4 Gold ad.
This is a long path for a not-very-rewarding end but… there’s another commercial for some diet thing or another with a woman berating a birthday cake in the store, decorated with a bear wearing an Old West sheriff’s vest. “There’s no such thing as a bear sheriff!” she says. I told my wife that a real bear sheriff would be awesome because it’d be a grizzly in a giant vest and it’d maul your ass.
Anyway, any time the the “log cabin in a storm” commercial comes on, I go “Bear Sheriff! Rrwarr!” ('cause, you know, they’re in the woods) and we imagine Bear Sheriff mauling them and we laugh and it makes the pain go away a little bit.
Just saw a new one last night, with a deaf girl and her boyfriend. They’re using sign language. He also speaks out loud and her lines are sub-titled.
Him: Sorry, I’m still not very good at signing.
Her: Don’t worry, you’re doing fine.
Him: I learned a new sign for you: Merry Christmas. (He opens a box containing a shiny expensive bauble.)
Her: Even though I won’t hear it, we are gonna wake the neighbors tonight, baby! (Okay, I made that last one up, but it’s not too much of a stretch.)
Maybe I’m over-sensitive to jewelry ads right now from reading this thread, but I instantly despised this commercial. It seemed exploitative and cloying to me. I wonder what deaf people think of it.
“She’ll pretty much have to.”
Was that Family Guy?
Yes.
The song is annoying, but that woman is hardly 25 or even 30. And if she is, I’d hate to see her in 10 years.
“What’s a four word phrase for ‘marriage proposal’?”
“I have absolutely no idea.”
“He…went…to…DUR-DURPA-DURRRRR!”
SQUEELS
…
I hate this goddamned commercial so much that I’ve conditioned myself to automatically mute the television for 30 seconds when it comes on.
The log cabin thunderstorm is a close second.
The ads suggesting you buy someone a freaking Lexus as a Christmas gift is third.
I hate those too. What ever happened to “from the heart?” I mean, if you really, really love your money, than I guess that you’d be giving from what’s close to your heart, but seriously.
I love the Bear Sheriff commercial. It’s funny and cute and unusual at the same time. But now you’ve just made the thunderstorm commercial a little more BEAR-able to watch! I love that image!
My husband is glad the commercials are so bad because it absolves him from ever having to buy me the “triangle of love” or whatever stupid gimmick they’ve come up with this year.
Personally, I wouldn’t have a man who couldn’t stand up on ice skates, even if he offered up a 3 carat Tiffany ring. Nor would I have a woman who was relegated to squishiness over lightning. Some people are just best thrown back into the dating pool.