Its a custard machine that’s tasted human blood. Gotta put it down like Old Yellow. (loads shotgun).
And you’re from the planet where movie titles always use OED-vetted English?
(That, or you just shot a very un-Mellow soda can.)
That soda can also had a taste for human blood.
(reloads)
Lynn Bodoni: The article mentions that this is the second time in less than a year that someone’s lost a finger in that machine. Someone needs to look into that.
AdamYax: And lose an eye???
Mr. Mistakonic: Its a custard machine that’s tasted human blood. Gotta put it down like Old Yellow. (loads shotgun)
::gasping for breath::
You guys are KILLING me! 
Refusing to give someone the finger, and holding onto it in the hopes of getting a handout makes Stowers an asshole.
Maybe it’s like Stephen King’s story, and we have us a real life Mangler? :eek:
Soft ice cream to you? It’s like frozen yogurt, only not made with yogurt (and one-hundred times better tasting IMHO).
It’s either dispensed out of a specialized cooler or actually scooped.
Stowers had so much opportunity to allow the poor guy his finger back while still making his case. I hope he is made profoundly aware of his error.
I sincerely hope that Stower gets awarded a million bucks.
I hope that the 9-fingered kid gets awarded 2 million bucks.
There’s got to be some kind of criminal charge to file against that Stower motherfucker. And if there isn’t, there should be.
Sure, let him have his million bucks for whatever emotional distress was inflicted on him. Then let him give it right back to the kid who he is partly responsible for maiming. Then let him go to prison for assault or something.
Fucking asshole.
Yes. He shouldn’t have waited to return it. He really should have pulled his finger out.
(Wonders if anyone will get that.)
Man offers to return finger found in custard.. Too late, everybody already realizes you are an asshole.
That’s ridiculous. Fizer is going to make a fortune doing Frodo Baggins impressions. Why give him even more money?
I still cannot believe what kind of asshats are lurking out there. Stowers is an embarrasment to human life.
Agreed.
And if there are “duelling lawsuits” that end up cancelling each other out, the jerk will win and the owner of the custard business will win.
And the poor guy who has to live without his finger for the rest of his life…what about HIM?
sings Fizer … of the nine-fingers!
As for Fizer here,
[ul]
[li]He gets to claim against employer for unsafe work environment (Well, he would in the UK) Statutory duty.[/li][li]Doofus sues him, employer is most probably vicariously liable. It is in Fizer’s interest that doofus WINS.[/li][li]Fizer sues doofus for causing him harm, doofus has owes Fizer duty of care due to his action (keeping the finger), and obviously breaches it, mucho $$$$.[/li][li]Fizer wins, normally Doofus wouldn’t have enough money to pay anyway. But in this case, if he wins against the employer, he has mucho bux, and Fizer can now get paid.[/li][/ul]
Just a slightly less than WAG. 