Man wins lottery after living in friends house for a year. How much should he share?

[TokyoBayer]

@Sahirrnee

If I were Patrick or Beverly, I’d likely have thrown the check back in his face, it’s an insult. Better not to get anything at. It’s like leaving a waitress a three cent tip.

Yeah. That’s what I’d do, and then hate myself in the morning for letting my emotions get in the way of $30,000.

While Jonathan doesn’t “owe” them anything, the fact is that Patrick and Beverly made his life soooooo much more bearable in a really tough period. Going through a nasty divorce, getting laid off, having to work a shitty job on top of having to compete in a tough market. If he had had to live in a shitty studio somewhere in the slums, he could very well have gone off the deep end or developed a severe drinking habit. It’s happened to better people.

As true friends (well, Beverly is the kinder one, but Patrick went along out of loyalty) they really sacrificed to help a friend out in need. That really is true friendship. And they provided a lot of food as well. That year of decompression and getting out of the hole really is because of their generosity.

I’m betting that Jonathan didn’t do much around the house or yard or offer to babysit, either.

And what does Jonathan do? Damn near nothing for them. He could have changed their lives* without sacrificing anything on his part. The difference between $99 million and $100 million is lost in the noise.

He ain’t a friend. Simply a leach and I would have nothing to do with him again.

I wouldn’t even want to be invited out to nice restaurants with him because it would all be about him and the hot bimbo of the week.

Good riddance. Life is too short for putting up with assholes.

As far as a dollar amount. If I were Jonathan I’d have given at least a million. If not several. Make sure that their retirements and the kids college educations were taken care of. Buy them a nice house with several spare bedrooms and a couple of nice cars.

They aren’t doing that well. $125 k between two professionals doesn’t get you that far ahead in life.

Does he not see what they did for him? He’s the definition of self-centered.

A personal note. I went though a crises over the last several years and found out where my real friends were. A lot of people I though I was really close to, I guess we weren’t.

Out of it, there are two people who I now consider closer than my birth family and who I would do anything for. Everyone else I can be nice to, but they’re not in the same league.

*Note: Yes, I know that more money doesn’t make most people happy, but these guys are all right.

@Ravenman

For those who generally advocate for a higher gift to the friends, I’m curious if you had considered whether giving a large gift – say, in the millions of dollars – to the couple would have impacts beyond this immediate question of being given a place to live with these people.

For example, Jonathan surely has more people than just this couple who have done something to benefit him. His college professor who gave him a break to let him re-take the test that allowed him to graduate, his sister who shared her ice cream with him when he was 7, the beer buddy who loaned him the $5 to go buy the lottery ticket in the first place, etc.

In my opinion, if someone starts taking the position that a windfall requires them to be extraordinarily generous (as in, giving a substantial premium over the value of fair compensation for the favors granted) in one case, then an awful lot of people can claim that they are being treated unfairly if they think they are owed more for some favor given at some point. “Remember when I let you use my car to drive to that job interview, and you used $5 worth of gas that I paid for? Well, I think you owe me $1,500.” (Which is a similar markup between $30k and $10m that some have suggested.)

Jonathan can quickly find himself with many hungry, unreasonable mouths to feed. That’s why I advocate for much more restraint from Jonathan.

[Gyrate]

I vote for “Jonathan doesn’t owe them anything but is being kind of a dick about the whole thing”. Treating the gift as some form of backrent is an insult to the people who made a very personal sacrifice to help a friend. Even if he’d paid off $30,000 on their mortgage it would have been a nicer gesture than what he did. If I were Patrick I’d be peeved too (but not so peeved that I’d throw the check in his face).

If I were in Jonathan’s shoes, the first figure than came to mind was $100,000 - %0.1 is not much in the grand scheme of things, even with added gift taxes - but paying off their mortgage and maybe buying them a new car would be a nicer gesture. It’s the thought that counts as much or more than the money - Jonathan shouldn’t have tried to repay them for their room, he should have repaid them for their hospitality and friendship.

[John_Mace]

@Merneith

I didn’t say he shouldn’t spread it around. I said he shouldn’t make it seem like he’s paying off a student loan…

You said he should not try to pay them back with money, which is absurd. If you meant something else. tell us. But as I read your post you are saying there is something wrong with him giving the couple money.

[jayrey]

I’d pay off their mortgage, set up a college trust fund for their children, buy them both new cars and bestow an extra $1 million on them. They were there for me when I needed it most.

[Ranchoth]

Well, Bev and Pat gave the room and board to a friend in need without any expectation of return, so it’s hard to say they’re getting stiffed when he makes an unexpected windfall.

At the same time, I’m not quick to judge Jon’s payment rationale, either—I don’t know what his financial plan for his fortune is, or even what his exact motivations in paying that amount is. If he’s keeping enough to keep himself in a nice apartment for the rest of his life, but spending the rest on charities, or investing in his private spaceship company for the betterment of human progress, is that “selfish”? Does he think Bev and Pat will feel awkward if he lavishes “charity” upon them?

Yeah, a million bucks would be nice. But 30k isn’t exactly an Arby’s gift certificate, is apparently a “fair price,” and it’s more than the $0 they were expecting in return. I’d probably be satisfied with it.

Of course, I’d certainly hope that if I were ever in dire straits, Jon’d let me crash on his couch for awhile. Maybe I could sleep in the Billiards Room.

[Grumman]

Giving his friends $5 million would improve their lives a lot more than going down from $99,970,000 to $95,000,000 would hurt his.

[BigT]

They make six figures. And yet they are still getting a quarter of their income back, much higher than Jonathan would have paid for rent in any sane part of the world. (I know there are some exorbitant prices in some cities.) It clearly just makes Jonathan happier to call it “rent.”

Given what I’ve seen on those TV renovation shows, $30k is more than enough to make that room into a proper mancave. So I don’t see the issue there, either.

Sure, Jonathan has a lot of money now, but that doesn’t change how much what he got from them was worth. And they are well enough off not to need pure charity.

Sure, I’d not think well of Jonathan if he kept the rest of the $100 million for himself. But how much he gave me personally is not a factor.

Treating $30k as some low amount of money and treating $1 million as some normal amount of money is insane, and the reason that lottery winners become poor so easily.

[Writeman]

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