Dog sitting for a very handsome but totally insane pit bull who is currently barking his high, shrill “pay attention to me” bark while I’m trying to get a cup of coffee down to counteract the effects of NO SLEEP because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be under the covers or on top of them last night in addition to kicking me in the back with his strong ass feet and putting his cold nose on my neck until 5:30 this morning when he FINALLY fell asleep and I was able to doze.
I feel sorry for his poor, scrambled brain but I am not getting paid enough for this.
My wife has been haranguing me about ‘civic duty’, but I am a very poor candidate for this. In addition to being unable to sit for long periods without thrashing around like I’m having seizures, I also take a diuretic for blood pressure, which means I’ve usually got to pee more frequently than many. No lawyer in his right mind would want me on his jury. I’ll see how it goes. I’m sure they have a large enough pool of people that someone like me won’t be needed.
When I got summoned for jury duty, the letter included a number to call the day before to see if you’d be needed or not. I called, wasn’t needed, and had a free day off.
Fuck you, Canon! Look, I know that I rarely use this printer, and yes, one out of the two fucking black ink tanks is empty. I have no idea why you need two tanks of black ink, but whatever. Could you at least maybe use both of them? One tank is constantly low, while the other just sits there, never being used at all.
But I didn’t come here to bitch about your ink tanks. I came here to bitch about that you didn’t just sell me a printer, this piece of shit you sold me also has a fax and scanner attached. And I want to scan some shit to pdf files. Last time I checked, making a pdf didn’t require any fucking ink. Still, when I start the printer up, it whines like a little bitch that one of the black ink tanks is empty and doesn’t let me do a fucking thing with the scanner until I load ink. Well guess what? I don’t have any and I am not about to go out and buy some overpriced ink that won’t even be used for scanning. Fuck it, you are going to be shitcanned. I’ll just fire up this other HP printer here to scan these documents.
Fuck you, HP! What the fuck do you mean you can’t find a computer to scan to? How about the one I just printed a test document from?
I wanted to go and see a really cool concert next weekend, and it’s a good price for admission, but it’s at a club where in order to see the show, you’re obliged to order a meal. I don’t want to order a darn meal. Especially since none of the meals there are stuff I’d particularly like. I know I sound like a whiny picky eater here, but they don’t really have much of a meal selection anyway, and I don’t really want to order a friggin’ raw steak or a whole plateful of nothing but cheese.
Oh well, if I don’t go to the concert, it’s not the end of the world or anything.
Apparently I lied. You apparently don’t have to order a whole meal. Okay. I still think it’s kind of weird to want to eat raw steak, but as long as it’s safe, eat it if you want.
Thanks. I think that I’m the lucky one. He showed up on my doorstep and wanted to come in. Declawed and with a mouth full of bullet shards. The good thing about having a senile cat is that he also forgets that he’s just eaten, so I can push another bowl of gooshy food under his face and he’s all Cool, here’s a bowl of food! I need to do that because he forgets to eat and is looking kinda skinny. He’s only lost half a pound in the last year, but that’s a big weight loss for cats.
Thankfully, his blood work was good. Kidneys are good. (cat owners, push water, it really does make a difference.)
I’m sorry, but I laughed. They don’t sell printers, they sell ink. The funnest part is when your printer won’t work because it says its out of ink, so you spend a bunch of money to buy more ink and then learn that it was the cheapo printer. Of course by that time, you have already opened the ink and the store won’t take it back, so you have a choice. Buy another printer that you hate and or toss the ink that probably cost much more than the printer, or buy another printer that you know will be just as bad.
Laser printers. The upfront cost is higher, but the per page cost is far lower for toner than it is for ink. I went through several Canon bubble-jets (that kept getting clogged) before I learned that lesson.
Last time someone asked rethorically “why should we let immigrants in?”, I interrupted the upcoming rant with “locutorios”. “Uh?” “Locutorios. I mean, never mind their contribution to Social Security, or that they’re the people taking care of our children, our pets, our gardens and our aged parents: when I need to print one or two pages, all I have to do is find one of those small businesses where immigrants go to call home - they’re open at all kinds of weird hours and offer printing services.”
I have a printer at my mothers’, but mainly because her timing to ask for printouts sucks. 168 hours in a week, and she has to ask at 10pm on the day before I’m leaving? I’m already in my pajamas, I’m not going to get dressed so I can toddle down to a locutorio when I was already in my jammies.
Lucky sounds like he’s got the same prognosis as my grandmother: “hanging by a thread, but it’s nylon and stuck to the heart”. You’re giving the little guy a nice place to be and nice friends to be with - Lucky indeed!
I guess the chefs are in a big hurry if they’re just turning out blue steaks? In this area, when you’re forced to order steak as part of a group meal (during a company dinner, for example) the steak typically arrives at the table cooked waaaay past whatever temperature you requested.
Are you talking about carpaccio? When I’ve had carpaccio it’s been the most excellent piece of filet sliced tissue paper thin, and it’s melt-in-your-mouth tender. Mmmmmm!
Well, I like it well-done anyway. Apparently it’s supposed to happen that you like it well-done as a kid, and like it rarer as you grow older, but I still like it well-done. Maybe I’m just immature or something.
We call it “steak tartare.” I don’t know if that’s the same thing as what you describe.
It’s the end of March and 36 outside. Someone needs to bodily lift winter and shove it out the door already. And then yank spring from its hiding place. I have been cold since November damn it.
Thirding or fourthing or wherever we are. We’ve all enjoyed it when you shared Lucky’s, uh, adventures (the Other Shoe always laughed his ass off at the idea of a cat throwing itself away by trapping itself in the trash can) and for a cat who got half his jaw shot off Lucky’s had overall a pretty good life, and that’s all because of YOU.
I know eh. When I left yoga class last night it was beautiful out and by the time I got home about a half hour later it was cold, windy and snowing. WTF.
In this area, when you’re forced to order steak as part of a group meal (during a company dinner, for example) the steak typically arrives at the table cooked waaaay past whatever temperature you requested.
