After the week from hell at work, I went Sunday for a little “Me Time.” Met a friend, had (this is important) one single draught beer (Bud Lite, at that - not exactly high on the alcohol content!) and split an appetizer. Two hours later, I stumbled trying to get into my van (tripped on the pavement,) and then??? Nothing. Until the paramedics and police were trying to wake me up, and I was parked in front of my office, and it was dark, and WTF???
Naturally, no one believes me about the head injury - I must be drunk - but fortunately, the nice officer just let my hubby come get me. Unfortunately, he doesn’t believe “my story” either.
By yesterday, I had a truly, truly massive lump on my forehead. Today the lump is gone, but I have two truly spectacular black eyes.
Dear people in Sales for our company: I know that the deal is king, and your number one priority is closing, but for fucks sake, would it kill you to know something about our products?!
I just received an e-mail from a sales rep. I know our products are specialized, so let me reinterpret his question for something more common – if we sold cars:
“The customer wants to know if this car is a V4, V6 or V8. I told him the car is blue, and it has a steering wheel in the trunk – that’s the correct answer, isn’t it?”
I mean, holy shit dude, if you can’t be bothered to learn even the most basic aspects of our products, then please don’t try to sell and them. And pretty pretty pretty please don’t just try to make shit up when answering a customer question! You will make the entire company look bad, and you’ll make yourself like the king of all idiots.
That really sucks that no one believes you, but maybe you should go to the doctor to get checked out for a concussion or other damage? The giant lump plus blacking out sounds pretty serious.
No, not a spiked drink purplehorseshoe- I watched the bartender pour and hand it to me, and no one was sitting remotely near me and J at the bar, and I didn’t leave my drink at all. (I had that happen once many moons ago - no fun! - so now I’m paranoid.) Seriously, I caught my sandal on a hole in the parking lot, saw stars, and thought “Well, I’ll just sit here until I gather myself, and then go home to cook dinner.” That’s the last I remember, until I couldn’t tell the paramedic what town I was in (even though I was sitting directly outside my office!)
When hubby got me home, I was nauseous and had a headache, but he assumed “drunk.” Until Monday morning, when he saw the big purple bruise in my hairline… which became a huge swelling above and between my eyebrows… which had morphed this morning into one slightly black eye and one enormously black eye.
I sent a photo to Mr. M at work. He’s now worried that the entire community is going to think that he beat me up! (And thinks that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t exaggerating Sunday when I said “No, I had one drink, but then I hit my head!”) I guess I’m lucky it wasn’t worse. Sleeping off a drunk is bad, sleeping off a concussion? Not so much.
Time Stranger, what treatment would there be for a concussion three days out? (I’m serious. I assumed there isn’t any, and that an initial evaluation is important to monitor brain swelling, just in case.)
I know you hate smoking and I know the Beau smokes. I know I backslid and he smokes in the house.
But when I call you to share some stuff going on with my family (because you have previously complained I don’t do that often enough) why do you turn my earaches into a rant about the smoking. When I tell you (who smoked well into my childhood) that the Beau is trying to quit and has selected a quit date and things, why do you tear a strip off me?
I am 41 years old, I support myself and my son. I have found a good Dad for my son whose own biodad abandoned us. Why do you have to yell and me and be negative because of this one thing. I hate it too that the Beau smokes. But insulting me doesn’t help anything, it just makes me want to interact with you less.
I hate sales people from the other side - accounting. I also know that the deal is king, and that sales people are valuable, and no company stays in business without getting sales, but no company stays in business without actually getting the money for those sales into the bank accounts, either. I know salespeople just want to sell, sell, sell, but paperwork is a necessary evil in life, and if you do it right the first time, all those accounting trolls will leave you alone, I promise, because we don’t want to have any more to do with you than you want to do with us.
I had a mildly bad experience with a hotel last week while the fam and I were coming home from a Spring Break trip. That’s not the mini-rant, though.
I tweeted about it, something to the effect of “Hotel X in (town) has made me grouchy and must be punished.”
Ever since, an endless parade of businesses located in (town) have started following my Twitter feed. I have NO interest in reciprocating, and even less interest in dealing with all the e-mails I keep getting from Twitter saying “Bob’s Custom Denoberators is now following you on Twitter!”
I’m starting to hear the subject lines in my head like a friend is saying “That skeezy guy from the bar is following you on meth!”
I don’t know if there’s a hell, but if there is, I hope there’s a special place in it for people who drive side-by-side, five mph under the speed limit. Why the fuck are you dawdling in each other’s blind spots? GO already - I’m about to get rear-ended back here!
I don’t really know how they handle concussions either after the fact, I guess I would just be worried I’d black out again later. Sorry I’m not much help! I hope you feel better soon and that the bruises fade quickly!
I’m 35 weeks pregnant. The anti-abortionists can all drop dead. I’ve spent the last two weeks either starving or throwing up. Literally. Today alone I threw up twice and now I’m incredibly hungry yet again. You poor deluded fetus worshipping psychopaths have no idea how hard it is to pregnant for many women. You have no right to demand it of us in the name of your religious or personal beliefs. Pregnancy is a huge sacrifice. Women who manage to get through pregnancy should be applauded. Women who don’t want to endure nine months of hell should not be made to feel like selfish whores.
Goddamned stupid fat fuckers who slowly stagger drunkenly down a 6’ wide aisle at work, repeatedly pausing and looking at the people behind them whom their actions are preventing from moving past them.
Hell fucking yes I was pissed off. I’m on meds that make me drink a LOT, and consequently make me PEE A LOT. I’m also in a lot of pain and that tends to make me short tempered.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.
All you have to do is walk to one side like a normal fucking human instead of the ‘down the center staggering from side to side’ crap that essentially prevents anyone else from going by you. Oh, and once you notice people behind you and notice they are unhappy, wake the fuck up, show some COURTESY and plainly step off to one side rather than merely continueing to block the aisle while now also stopping to pause occasionally to see if the person is still there.
I can picture my father doing this, once upon a time, and he also complained that we didn’t talk as much as he would like. This is how the rest of that conversation would have gone.
Me (At the first silence on his end): Gee, Dad, thanks for sharing your tantrum with me; and you wonder why I don’t call more often. <click>
He didn’t pull that stuff with me because he knew in his heart that I wouldn’t put up with it. I don’t expect this would work for everyone, especially if you value your relationship at all. I didn’t (then, anyway; it got better later).
Roddy
I have tried and failed at having a father who communicates rationally and reasonably. My mother has failed at having a husband with the same characteristics. But my dad is a good guy, generous, hard working, and actually loves us he is just misguided, pissy and has a short temper and irrational prejudices. And rational ones, like smoking.
Once upon a time I made a crusade out of calling him on stuff. I think I called him the dictator of the dinner table once. Then the day after I had a blow out with him about bringing him a cake on his birthday (him do whatever you want… Me… well would you like one? I said do whatever the fuck you want! ) he had a pretty major angina attack and ended up having a quadruple bypass.
I know he has had coronary artery disease for over 20 years, but I know if he had the fatal heart atatack that day I would have never forgiven myself. He has his faults but he is too good to lose. I take it, but I own that I take it. (And rant about it here) Instead of having regular blow outs with him I have had one huge fight in 4 years and I am pretty pissed at myself about that one. (I was right, but fighting with him is always wrong now.)
I don’t like it. But it is better than the alternative, and I love my parents and family too much to rock the boat anymore. It’s not about me, it IS about how I handle it.
My dumbfuck backdoor neighbor just climbed my fence to retrieve a ball he kicked into the yard. It’s a four-foot tall aluminum fence, and has little decorative spikes along the top…I’m amazed that he didn’t snag something while jumping over. Now my mother is convinced that he’s going to break into the house. ??? (For the record, I have window/door sensors and glass break sensors; the glass break sensors are so sensitive that clapping hands will set them off.)
While sitting on your back porch or standing at the back door, shoot the ball with an arrow with the line attached just as he starts climbing over the fence, and then play like the money on a string game with him, smiling and taunting him while slowly reeling it in. Knowing he doesn’t want a deflated basketball with an arrow through it. Laugh as he climbs back down from the fence and swears at you.
I tried to check your location field to see if you’re in Calgary - I’ve shovelled the sidewalks twice this week, and I don’t think it’s done for this week yet. So freaking sick of winter. I’m planning to snowbird when I get older, and each winter I think “older” is getting a little bit younger.
After visiting Canada many times, I think the place is quite is a wonderful country filled with terrific people. Unfortunately the climate in many parts of it is far too snowy for my tastes.