March Minirant Madness

I have the same car, same color, and do the same thing. The world should thank us.

Is this a to-do list?

:smiley:

I have a chicken-and-egg rant this time:

I need to buy a good microphone so I can record voice-over work here at home.

But I can’t afford to buy a good microphone until I get some work.

But I can’t get work without a good microphone.

Repeat.

Boy, this is a first-world problem.

If you’re making the kind of canned soup where you add a can of water, just add 3/4 of a can. Not only will it fit in the bowl, the soup will be richer.

You could also bring in your own bowl, or split it between two bowls.

They totally should, instead of trying to kill us all the time. I’ve thought about adding reflective strips to outline my car like a semi. I also want a massively overpowered horn for all the people who cut me off because it’s just a tiny Corolla - it doesn’t have any right-of-way (in their opinions)!

Fuck you Google. I don’t want a Google account or a Gmail account and now you tell me I have to have one to use my Youtube account? Like I don’t have enough shit to keep track of in a day. You suck.

Oh, and Amazon.com? Fuck you, too. Will you just take Paypal already?

Yeah, yeah, first world problems, shut up.

To the owners of a particular house I drove past today:

It’s March now. Take down your Christmas decorations. Seriously. Santa and those reindeer are looking a bit bedraggled there.

I suppose you might argue that there’s too much snow right now and sure, maybe they’re frozen in place, but really, we barely got any snow this year until February. And ten days ago we had three days in a row that hit 50. What have you been doing for two months? Does everyone in your household have two broken legs and a bad back? Shoulda taken your thumb out of your butt and brought them in before now, because now anonymous people are mocking you on the internet.

Kittens, I thought it was cute that you chirruped rather than meowed. However, it seems you two have gotten your meow chips installed. At 2 am. Along with a new spate of the crazies. Yes, I will be calling this morning to get you in to be spayed. I have no money to do so, but if it will allow me to sleep all night?
yawn

As a child and teen, I was slender. When I started developing a woman’s body, I had big tits and hips and butt, but I wasn’t overweight, that was just my body type. I had no excess fat on me, and I was very well-toned.

However, my mother had a weight problem, so the whole damned family had to eat Weight Watchers this and diet that, even us kids who could have actually USED regular food. But then if she made something that she particularly liked as a treat for herself, we all had to eat it so SHE wouldn’t have to acknowledge that she’d made it for herself. Even though, you know, nobody else liked it. And my sibs and I were always forced to eat stuff that friends or relatives had made, even if we hated it. If we didn’t, the relatives would get bent out of shape (the friends were generally more willing to acknowledge that even kids have food preferences) and we’d get in trouble when we got home.

This behavior continued well into my adulthood, when I’d go home for a visit. I finally told her that I had NEVER liked this or that particular dish, and that I was quite old enough to decide to not eat stuff that I don’t like, especially stuff that irritates my gut. She was outraged, and there was a whole lot of drama.

Yeah, I know that my mother ragged on me (and is now ragging on her unborn granddaughter) because of her OWN problems. I also think that people of a certain age, who grew up when people were thinner–even undernourished in many cases–are shocked by how “big” people are today. They should keep it to themselves, but they often don’t.

I think my self-esteem is better than my mother’s. What I DID inherit from her is an unnatural preoccupation with food. We’re really, really, really interested in food. I know that we are, though. I think she might not.

My condolences about your grandmother’s death, DiosaBellissima.

And belated happy birthday to you, Indygrrl.

You probably know this already, but the “lying on your back in the dark” pose is a cool-down, meditation pose after what can be a pretty intense work out. However, it’s pretty central to yoga practice and any teacher who doesn’t factor it into the overall length of the class is a huge dick.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-03-02-1Abible02_ST_N.htm
Yep, there is going to be no more booty in at least one version of the bible. Kind of sad…
“Therefore their goods shall become a booty, and their houses a desolation: they shall also build houses, but not inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, but not drink the wine thereof.” I’ve always felt a guy could never have enough booty in his life, and the thought of a your goods turning into booty!
I thought they would have booted that “kicking against the pricks” first.
But then, they lost me when they said I couldn’t covet my neighbors wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, … Seemed silly to have to drive to the next town to covet someone’s ass.
No booty, no ass, and no wine. But I’m saved and I can still kick pricks.

Fuck the coverage of the non-story of Charlie Sheen’s meltdown. I’ve never watched Two and a Half Men and don’t recall the last movie of his that I watched, but I have little against him and doing drugs or screwing prostitutes. But please stop covering it on the local news, throwing blurbs all over Google News, and interrupting shows like Detroit 187 for a “special” broadcast of 20/20.

Preach it, mkecane. I’ve never seen a vehicle that he was in, and AFAIK, he’s just Emilio Estevez’s less-talented younger brother. I’m kinda tired of hearing about him.

But it might be fun to have Christine Amanpour interview him and report on whether he’s more, or less delusional than Ghaddafi. :smiley:

How does getting a kitten spayed stop it from meowing? They’re kittens, like, have not reached sexual maturity yet, right?

A piece of my tooth fell out. ARGH! It doesn’t hurt and I don’t think it’s affecting the root, but I’m annoyed because it’s on the front of my teeth and I keep running my tongue over it. My dentist is always crazy busy so I don’t even know if she’ll have time to see it this week. And my fortune cookie last night said “Luck is with you this month”. Stupid lying fortune cookie!!!

That sounds really weird to me. Are you sure they just aren’t trying to get you to link your YouTube account with a Google account?

They’re 6 1/2 months - so teenagers. Neither know what to do with themselves. They’ve been wandering the house, mewling, chirpping, howling. They’ll lay down for maybe an hour, and then they’re up and at it for an hour. Poor Dot is almost hoarse. If they were just being talkative, no big deal. One of our last cats, Bernie, was very talkative. This is “I’ma a horny kitteh” thing.

Cost of getting two furballs spayed? Almost as much as a mortgage payment. I earn 2K too much per year to qualify for assistance (Not bitching about earning too much, I’m glad I earn what I do and I am glad there is assistance out there to help!).

It’s mandatory now, I got the same message this week. To log into my existing YouTube account, I must create a Google account and link it. They’re phasing out YouTube-only accounts; any new YouTube accounts are also Google accounts (as I understand it.) Haven’t done it yet; I simply logged all the way out of YouTube and am browsing as a guest, and while I can watch videos I can’t access my favorites or comment until I create a Google account and log back in.

I hadn’t seen that thread.

You’re right, if I’m going to bitch, I should have the courtesy to read the reply.

Please note that I didn’t say anything about you being negative (maybe you’re thinking about the pit thread?). I said you treated the mini-rants threads like your own Dear Abby column. Which likely stems from the fact that you remind me of a co-worker I used to have. You literally couldn’t start a conversation or say anything within range of her, or she’d pop up and tell you exactly what she thought. Every. Damn. Time. If we needed to talk to any workers near her, we’d email them and tell them to come to us.

She’d even do it in groups. Person A would say something, Dear Abby would reply. Person B would reply to Person A, Dear Abby would reply to Person B. Every other sentence was her input.

Eventually, it didn’t matter if she did have something of value to contribute. Nobody wanted to talk to her.

For all I know, you’re a delightful person, but I’ve made that mental connection to Dear Abby (that’s what we called her), and now it’s stuck. I installed FfVb because I really enjoy reading the mini-rants thread sans noise. At any rate, according to the pit thread I’m in the vast minority, so feel free to give this all the weight you’d give to any other anonymous asshole on a message board.