Marcie's laundry

Marcie allowed me to do her laundry today! All alone and unsupervised! After seven years together she has finally decided that I can be trusted to do her laundry for her. I did have to pass a quiz this morning, though:

White stuff: all white stuff, no colors. Wash warm, rinse cold, regular cycle, hang up to dry.

Colored stuff: all colored, no white. Cold wash, cold rinse, gentle cycle, hang up to dry.

Dainty feminine stuff: completely separate, cold wash with Woolite, cold rinse, delicate cycle, hang up to dry.

Marcie is fussy about her laundry.

I hope she’s pleased.

Louis, you just got suckered.

We women have a secret pact.

How to Get a Man to Do Your Dirty Work In Three Simple Steps:

  1. Act like it’s way too difficult, delicate or precise a task for a big, burly, ham-handed man to do.

(This off-putting becomes a challenge; a man will suddenly find himself begging to do these forbidden chores.)

  1. Keep saying, “No, it’s no problem. I love performing this menial task.” (Sigh a lot, bat eyelashes.)

  2. Finally, after a few years, let the Neanderthal do it. By then, it will be too late! WE NEVER HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY AGAIN!!!

Bwahahahahahaahaha!

I dunno. He had 7 years of guilt-free exemption. That’s pretty good in my book. I wouldn’t say he got suckered. And all he has to do is screw it up once to get another 7 or so years of exemption.

I already know that Marcie will not be pleased.

You may not be able to tell it yet but you ruined a article of her clothing. The ruined item is her favorite and she will never be able to replace it. Plus, it was really expensive.

Damn! That’s a lot of work to go through just to clean some clothes. You might want to try my method:

  1. Throw everything in the machine ( knob settings are not important)
  2. Throw out everything that turned pink.
  3. Buy new white stuff

Oh Noooooooo! You should have washed her silk undies with the greasy garage rags, hallway rug and some grass bur infested socks using hot water, Mr. Clean and Go Jo. Now your are stuck with this task for life.

But you haven’t folded it yet. You’re sure to botch that.

If you ever want to try getting her to do YOUR laundry, you should wear around her underwear once you run out, until she caves and washes yours. Be sure to pick out the lacy ones.