Last night I saw the Simpsons episode “Marge Gets a Job”. In it, there’s a scene where Grandpa is babysitting Maggie, who wants a bottle. Grandpa decides she’s sick and is looking through some archaic medical text, trying to identify her mystery illness, and comes up with a long list of obscure & hilarious diseases.
Anybody have the transcript? All I can remember is Staggers, Dropsy, Washmaid’s Knee and Poor Man’s Gout.
From the The Simpsons Archive
Dropsy is the old name for edema from congestive heart failure. Still see quite a lot of this, and some of the therapies are just as old as the name (namely digitalis). We have a bit more sophistication in treating it now, though.
Grip is the flu. In fact, the Spanish for flu is still “gripe/gripa.”
Scrofula is a tubercular disease characterized by bilateral cervical lymphadenopathy. You can still get it.
Vapors is what Southern women used to get when put under emotional duress. Vasovagal syncope or something like it.
Jungle rot is a cellulitis. Unclear of the etiology. Probably staphylococcal/streptococcal.
Housemaid’s knee, or prepatellar bursitis, is still a fairly common general medicine/orthopedics/family practice diagnosis.
No idea about the rest.
Actually, it makes for a much better line in GWTW if you assume that vapors=farts. “Oh, I got the vapors somethin’ fierce!”
I think staggers is a livestock disease.
I wonder if “Andy fever” was really Dengue Fever.
Reminds me of the ready-made obituary for the Onion publisher:
"Onion Publisher Emeritus T. Herman Zweibel passed away of [CHOOSE ONE OR MORE] autoerotic impaling, colonic bursitis, consumption, elephantiasis, explosive urethral exsanguination, gangrene, gout, gunshot wounds, ingrown brains, leprosy, mange, plague, pneumonia, quinsy, rheumatism, robot assault, scrofula, spontaneous pan-corporeal organ rejection, state-ordered electrocution, transdermal vomiting, typhus and/or worms, on the night of [INSERT DATE] after an extraordinarily long illness. He was [132].
In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the M. Prescott Zweibel Memorial Foundation For The Treatment And Cure Of Homosexual Youths."
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25935
That’s nuthin’. Check out some titles by the grindcore band Carcass:
Genital Grinder
Carbonized Eyesockets
Frenzied Detruncation
Vomited Anal Tract
Fermenting Innards
Microwaved Uterogestation
Pungent Excruciation
Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra
Mucopurulence Excretor
Excoriating Abdominal Emanation
Embryonic Necropsy and Devourment
Swarming Vulgar Mass of Infected Virulency
Crepitating Bowel Erosion
Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious
Incarnated Solvent Abuse
Lavaging Expectorate of Lysergide Composition
Hepatic Tissue Fermentation
I don’t know what half of those mean, and I’m not sure I want to know! :eek:
I always used the term jungle rot to refer to our old friend, Tinea Cruris