I grew up one of 5 children, 4 of which were girls, in a house with only one bathroom. As such, said room was strictly for elimination or bathing activities. Things like brushing / styling your hair, applying make-up, and cutting your nails were NOT done in the bathroom. If it didn’t require a drain, you didn’t do it there.
I am assuming this resulted in my feeling that such activities are not necessary to do in private. Granted, I will not apply make-up in the middle of a restaurant… but I have no problem brushing my hair or applying make-up in front of my husband, my sisters, friends, college roommates, etc. I used to be friends with a woman who would get offended if I applied make-up in her presence in her bedroom while we were getting ready to go out for a night on the town. The first few times it happened, she would mildly note to me that the bathroom was free, why don’t I go in there? After about the fifth time, it finally hit me, that she was bothered by this. I am not usually that dense, but the concept was so foreign to me. I was in my early thirties at the time and had never run across anyone bothered by it before.
Let me clarify, that I am not looking for validation, or for you to give me advice on how to get along with this person. I used to work with her, don’t anymore, and didn’t keep in touch. I am just curious if I have been offending people all my life without realizing it (quite possible - I am not exactly the queen of sociability)
What do you think? Are these sorts of activities ok to do in front of those you know well? Or should they occur only in pure privacy? Where do you draw the line? Make-up and hair styling is ok, tweezing eyebrow hairs or flossing is not?
Filing fingernails is OK; clipping finger- or toenails is not.
Flossing should be done in private. If you discover a single stray hair, I would think you’d go ahead and tweeze it, but if you’re going to do the whole job, go in the bathroom. You’ll need the light in there anyway.
I don’t understand why she was offended at your putting on makeup in her room, but maybe she was just extra fastidious, or maybe she thought you might drop a lipstick on her nice carpet or bedspread, or maybe she just thought the light would be better in the bathroom.
If she really thought it was impolite of you to be putting on makeup in front of her, I don’t get it.
I don’t wear lipstick - I was usually touching up eye liner or mascara. She wasn’t a neat freak by any means. It was years ago, so I can’t remember her exact words from the time I figured out what was going on, but it was definitely something closer to “you should do that in private” rather than worrying about her home.
In my family, nothing to do with hair, nails, or makeup is considered private, but I wouldn’t cut my toenails in front of non-relatives. The kind of things you’re talking about are the sort of things my mother and sisters would do in the bathroom (because of the mirror) but with the door open.
snort In my house we do everything with the door open - and if it wasn’t open to start with one of the cats will open it. Of course, there’s just two of us and we’re both girls.
I don’t get how clipping fingernails is private. I can see not doing it where you’ll leave a mess, but why not outside? But then, I have few privacy taboos.
My husband insists on having dental floss available in the kitchen and lately has been leaving used strands around the house. Floss and flossing are for the bathroom! This is a man who is grossed out by finding my toenail clippings in the toilet waiting for the next flush.
Clip nails, dry hair, putting in contacts: All are welcome!
Brush teeth, apply makeup: Everyone can watch but the husband.
Peeing: Kids and cats only.
Pooping, minor surgery, feminine hygiene, naked dancing: Y’all get out, I need to shut the door!
Thinks2Much, your friend was nuts.
I used to wear contacts before I had Lasik, and I had so much trouble putting them in that I had to be totally alone and in an almost trance-like state before I’d even try. GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM AND DON’T LOOK AT ME. But this is my problem, not yours, unless you need to use the bathroom. I need the sink and mirror.
Then I had Lasik!
There is private, and there is personal.
Anything that requires you to expose naughty bits should not be spectated by anyone who has no business with your naughty bits (such as spouses or very small people who have emerged from said naughty bits in the recent past). Naughty bits are private - they are the dividing line.
Personal grooming acts are those activities that do not expose one’s bits, but nonetheless should not be done in mixed company. In this case I would allow for persons close to me as spectators (friends, college room mates, siblings) for things such as tooth brushing, make-up application, etc. They should not be done in public.
I grew up as one of five daughters in a house with only one bathroom, so one had to hustle in and out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. I’ve never had any problem doing my nails, makeup, or hair in front of my sisters, my college roommate, or my female friends. Brushing teeth and flossing had to be done in the bathroom, because of the need for running water. I have shaved my legs in front of a roommate before, and she didn’t seem to think it was weird.
I’m a little more circumspect around males, and the sound of me filing my nails annoys my husband. He also looks at me oddly if he sees me applying makeup, but that’s probably because I make weird faces while applying mascara or eyeliner. He’s a little icked out if he sees me putting in my contacts, but that’s just squeamishness.
To clarify: I rest my toes on the toilet seat when I clip my toenails. This enables the clippings to fall right into the toilet. Since they aren’t, you know, smelly or anything, and are very small and don’t color the water, I leave them there to await the next flush. They don’t go flying around the room, I don’t have to sweep them up and I just find it efficient. To further clarify, I am standing in front of the toilet as opposed to sitting on it and the door is generally closed. I think it’s nothing in comparison to flossing outside the bathroom.
My wife has no problems with female audiences for anything in the bathroom: beauty, evacuation, bathing. I think it’s because it was 4 girls and a tiny bathroom when she was younger. The weird thing is that she will go out of her way to avoid public restrooms, though.
If I want someone to think of me as being pretty, I don’t let them watch me slobber and spit. I also don’t want them to watch me work miracles with my magic paint box! I guess that excludes all menfolk but my son…he will always think his mom is beautiful, right?
Is your wastebasket broken?