I don’t think that either of us ever officially asked. It was just assumed, kind of like you go through life expecting gravity to keep working and oxygen to be available. (I was the first to use the L word, though. Sitting on my back porch, talking on the phone in the middle of the night, crying my eyes out. I had sworn off that “being in love” stuff, I didn’t want to be in love with him or anybody, ever again. But I had to tell him, and I just couldn’t do it face-to-face, because I was afraid he wouldn’t love me back… It all worked out, though!)
He did surprise me with my engagement ring. I knew he was serious when he gave me a family heirloom.
We had already talked about it and I knew he would say yes… but I didn’t know if he’d say yes yet. We had been planning on getting married IF living together worked out, but I kinda jumped the gun a bit. So I wasn’t sure he would say yes. I thought he might say, “We’ll see.”
We’ve been expecting to get married since pretty early on, though we were both aware things can change. They still can, but so far, so good.
I don’t think my husband was at all sure what I would say. I was so gun-shy on the issue that he had previously had to promise me that he wouldn’t bring it up for the next 6 months or so. He decided to do it on the spur of the moment, and he didn’t know that I had decided the night before that I would probably say yes. And I actually said “I guess so”!!–and practically had hysterics on the spot.
So he wasn’t prepared or anything, there was no official ring or elaborate setup (thank goodness). But it was a real question that didn’t have an answer yet.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, it was just I’d developed this habit of being terrified of marriage. Actually it was the best decision I ever made, so I’m glad he asked.
She had been emailing me links to various engagement rings that she liked. I took that as a pretty strong hint that the answer would be affirmative.
Of course, that didn’t keep my heart and lungs from stopping during the time I got the question out and the time that she said yes. (During which time, after she started crying and hugging me, I had to ask her: “So, I take it that’s a ‘yes’?”)
I was smart. The actual question was recorded on an iPod. She thought that was the big surprise and was so excited. While she was listening to what I put on there I could see her face start to change when she realized what was happening.
Scared like hell I was. I thought she was going to say no, tell me she was secretly a lesbian who hated me, kick me in my face and/or balls, then steal my car.
Mr. Singular asked casually a few times, always getting my “I don’t believe in the institution” answer. A few years later my business travel had earned me 230000 miles in travel rewards, and we planned a trip to New Zealand. Since we were on the other side of the planet, I said let’s get marrried, and we tied the knot in Rotorua. Twenty-four years ago in September. Still blows my kind.
I said no twice so he told me he wasn’t asking again and when I was ready I should ask him. I was about 90% certain he wouldn’t say no just for payback and he didn’t
He did however, at the altar, when asked if he took this woman say “ah, um, well”
The JP leaned forward and said “Son you signed the papers, it’s too late, this is just for show”
So he responded “Well I guess I did then”
Sad to say his sense of humour hasn’t gotten any better in the last 17 years
I was pretty sure. So when she burst into tears and took the ring off, it kind of sucked.
Turns out that asking someone to marry you when they’re a month away from finishing grad school? Not such a good idea, no matter what other factors point to its being the right time (dating for three years, previous discussions of marriage, getting ready to move in together/end the LTR aspect of the relationship, etc.)
So I backed off, we moved in together, and six months later she proposed to me. It’s been eight lovely years, and I hope for many more.
When I actually asked my late wife to marry me I was pretty certain she’d say yes, considering that we were standing at the alter at the time.
We had been living together for several years and one day we had just started making wedding plans. A week or so after that she realized that I had never proposed to her, and began reminding me that’s I’d skipped this step, I kept sidestepping the matter, and when she decided to propose to me I managed to avoid answering her. It became a running joke, particularly after she started complaining to our friends about it. She even said something about it at the rehearsal dinner, but I still didn’t ask her.
Then after she was handed over to me at the church I leaned over and quietly said, “Hey, lady, if you’re not doing anything do you want to get married?”
When I asked my wife to marry me, we had been separated for almost six months and she thought I was coming to put the final nail in the coffin so to speak, so to call it unexpected was to say the least. She was so shocked that she couldn’t speak and took so long to say anything that I eventually said “I guess that’s a No then?” to which she managed to squeak a “No, No, that’s not what it means…”
It all happened 47 years ago and we had known each other for only 4 months, but she knew I was going to ask on New Years Eve (family tradition, which I had mentioned to her) and I was absolutely certain she would say “yes”. Before I finished the sentence, she shouted “Oh yes!” and jumped all over kissing me. We were married 2 1/2 months later. Best thing that ever happened to me and if it goes on another 47 years, that’s fine with me.
I’ve been married twice, accepted both proposals with certainty that the wedding would be carried out. First marriage didn’t work out, second marriage is doing fine after 6 years.
I worked for a number of years selling jewelry, so I saw the aftermath of a number of proposals gone wrong, though. We sold a lot of engagement rings, but every once in awhile, there’d be a sad-looking guy bringing one back for a refund. Almost always, it would be a guy that you would tend to think was young to be getting engaged in the first place. The typical “Engagement Ring Refund” guy was about 16 to 20 years old, with the occasional 20-30-year old guy getting turned down.
Older guys (age 40+) NEVER seemed to get turned down. I honestly do not remember processing a single returned engagement ring from an older guy. It was always those teenagers.
So, the moral of the story is: If you want her to say yes, wait til you’re 40.
He kept saying sentences that began “if we were married…” or “if you would marry me”… so I thought about it and decided that my answer would be yes. Then I snooped his driver’s license for his full name.
The next time he said “if…” I said “All Three Names, if you want an answer to that question, why don’t you ask it without qualifications?” …and he dropped to one knee right there and then!
I said “Of Course I will!” Eleven years this summer. snif
Just had this discussion last night with my wife. I said (while watching some chick flick) that I would have never tried an elaborate proposal like they do in the movies. It would be too humiliating if she said no and I wasn’t that sure of her answer. She said I should have been sure, it was so obvious she would say yes. Obvious to some maybe. I would have been hugely disappointed but not that surprised if she had laugh in my face. So, I would say I was 90% sure.
I was absolutely sure. That’s because about two weeks before I proposed I had hinted in a very obvious way, and she made it clear that if I asked, she’d say yes.
