I’m guessing that for most people, it was an absolutely yes, no doubt about it - but how many people here on the Dope have married while having cold feet or semi-serious doubt all the way up until walking down the aisle?
I read one Reddit thread that was full of Redditors sharing how they didn’t want to marry their S/O but it was too late to back out (interestingly, almost all women, relatively few men sharing such an opinion/experience).
I had been with my SO for two years and had not even given marriage a thought. One day I came home from work, and she lit into me about getting married and if we didn’t get married it was over. 5 hours later we were in Vegas getting married. It lasted 20 years and we hit a rough spot and got divorced, I think we both regretted the divorce, but we were both too stubborn to admit it. We remained close until she died earlier this year.
I was quite sure. We’d been dating since we were 15, and tied the knot at age 23.
Of course I was sure.
My husband was previously married. A good bit older. Had 2 babies. Recently widowed from his first choice. I knew where I stood.
But I wanted those babies.
I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have my own. (I did)
I guess I got what I wanted. A big family.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been more of a hassle than I’m worth, to him.
Totally sure.
We got married 6 months after getting together. I was 32, him 28.
This actually doesn’t surprise me, since most of the time it’s the men doing the asking and the women doing the accepting (I’d be really interested to hear more from same-sex couples). I’m sure in some instances the man has been pressured to propose, though, so not sure how that shakes out.
My husband-to-be and I were the calmest people at our wedding. So I guess we were both pretty sure about doing the deed.
I was absolutely sure…both times.
Some knowledge only comes from experience.
Quite sure. We had been dating for over a year and a half before we got engaged, and by the time that we’d been together for a year, we were both pretty certain that we were on the path to getting married.
Absolutely sure. Met her when she was 18 and I was 23. Started dating seven years later, married two after that. Been married 17 years this summer. Never had a doubt.
One of my best friends is married to her cousin, so it was also like i was becoming cousins-in-law with my friend, which has made family functions that much better. Win-win
When you’ve been living together for almost 23 years, and then you can finally get legally married, it’s kind of a no-brainer. I was the one who suggested it, a few months after same sex marriage was legalized. We eloped to Hawaii and had a very private ceremony.
First time, not entirely sure, but there were financial pressures. Lasted less than two years. But we’re still friends and I will always love her without being in love with her.
Second time, absolutely positive. It was love at first sight for me (not for her which is something we still laugh about). Going on 20 years and she is and will always be the love of my life. She and my first wife are friends and talk regularly.
Not necessarily. I wanted to get married, but my husband didn’t—he felt that gay people had been excluded from marriage and (at least as it was initially implemented in the US and the UK), it was still a bit separate-but-(almost)-equal, and he wanted full equality or nothing, PLUS the fact that gays, lacking legal marriage traditionally, had done our own thing in our own way. I didn’t agree, but I certainly respected the point of view.
We did get married once we moved to a country where it really was a full legal marriage with no "but…"s. I don’t really think it was cold feet or not being sure about each other, but about how the institution would be for us. And I still don’t quite trust it: we have power of attorney & medical power of attorney to back it up, just in case.
Was very sure, We had been fair friends for 10 years or so, seeing each other at dog shows, hunt tests, field trials. She decided to leave her husband-at-the-time, moved 4 hours south from Washington to Oregon, got married 5 months later, and after 17 years it’s still going strong. We complement each other, and watch out for and take care of each other, and support each other.
Because it was the Right Thing to do.
But it wasn’t the right thing to do.
I was quite sure about it. We had been together 7 years, since we were 22 (me) and 17 (wife). Our 25th anniversary was this summer.
Very sure, we’d lived together for years and already owned a house together.
A couple of days after our first date, he told me I’d marry him. “Maybe in a year, maybe 10 years, but eventually.” We eloped 4 weeks after that first date. It’ll be 41 years in December. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Apparently it was.
In college, I knew mizPullin socially, but we didn’t get along and just said hello at parties and other Greek Row occasions. We found ourselves the last two in an apartment, cleaning after everyone left. We found ourselves still together the next morning, looking at each other and asking “WTF just happened?”.
We moved in together later in the week, and about two weeks later I proposed with ring and stuff.
We got married a year later. We’re approaching our 44th anniversary. I had zero doubts back then, and remain as certain today as I was when I asked her.
Okay, I’ll be the representative dumbass (how does that keep happening?)
The first time I got married, I knew I was making a mistake.
More than 50% sure. Maybe more than 75%. Less than 90%.