You know, I am not really so sure of that. My first marriage I had all kinds of “just in case” plans in mind, and what I would do and wouldn’t do in the event of divorce and made sure that all “my” stuff was separate and accessible only to me even though I truly loved my husband…and we ended up divorced. Had you asked me at the time I would probably have said something like, “I don’t plan to divorce, but you never know what might happen” and it kept it as a possibility at the back of my mind any time things weren’t going just how I wanted them to be. All of the planning and preparing made it very easy to divorce, otherwise I might have worked more on the marriage itself.
This time I threw caution to the wind so to speak, never considered the possibility of divorce and it is a laughable suggestion to both me and my husband, still going strong more than 10 years later.
I know that anecdotes are not data but I do wonder how much of divorce is a self-fulfilling prophecy for those who over-think it and plan a bit too much, if you know what I mean.
I think this is the key both within a marriage and the dissolution of one.