It’s the 1950s in our house. He takes care of the finances and general admin, does DIY and takes out the rubbish. I cook, clean, shop and take care of the baby, although he does get up with her on Saturday mornings to give me a chance to catch up on some of the sleep she doesn’t let me get during the week. Due to historical reasons we both do our own laundry, though I look after his dry cleaning for him and do most of our daughter’s washing.
I do most of the cooking, whoever doesn’t cook does the cleaning. My wife tends to do more of the laundry, but too much if I’m being honest. I’m in charge of any light maintenance work. We have a cleaning service that comes every couple of weeks for most other stuff.
My big contribution is that I walk the dog on weekdays before work. This sounds trite, but neither of us are morning people and dread the morning walk, especially when it’s cold out. In fact, a couple of time we’ve discussed trading chores and I always offer to trade morning weekday walks for any other chore and she always declines. It’s my ace in the hole. The funny thing is now that my dog is pretty old, she’s not even that into it. She’d much rather sleep in and get going around 10ish for her first walk.
One of the biggest fights we ever had was about cleaning, when I lived in the UK for uni and he was still in the Netherlands. I would come home to a filthy house, and spend the first day cleaning. One time I got home on a weekend, so I told him we would spend Saturday cleaning, which he was happy to do. The first thing was that he asked me where the wet wipes were (the disinfectant, surface kind). I said under the sink, where they have been these past 10 odd years. Then I walked into the living room where he was cleaning to find that instead of using the lip HE HAD OPENED THE WHOLE PACKET. He had never, in 10 years of our relationship or 27 years of his life, used the wet wipes. He regrets that now, I can assure you.
We split just about everything, but I’m in charge because he still knows nothing about cleaning or DIY. If I tell him what to do it’s fine, but without detailed instructions plants die, dust reigns, penis ensues.
When I was married I did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, pet care, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, errand running, snow shoveling, cleaning the bathrooms.
I handled the bills because his idea of paying bills was to throw then in a big pill until the envelopes were marked ‘shut off notice’.
Our neighbor moved the lawn because I refused to do it and his attitude was that if the neighbor was dumb enough to mow our lawn let him keep on doing it.
He did… hmmm when I think of something I’ll let you know.
It was only fair though, after all he worker 40 hours a week, I worked only 35 so it was only fair that I make up the difference before I expected any help from him. He also made 3x what I made, so it was only fair that I did 3x the work. When I pointed out that 3 times nothing is nothing he wasn’t amused and told me I was stupid.
But that’s okay because he is way way smarter than I am, just ask him, he’ll tell you. He’s the one with the degree and all.
I’d scrub toilets with a toothbrush for a living before I’d live like that again.
Our household is pretty atypical (poly triad) but I’ll run through it all. My wife and our partner work outside of the home while I stay home and provide childcare. I have two children with my wife and a step-child with our partner. I do about 90% of the cooking, we sit down to dinner as a family four nights out of five. I tend to cook from scratch and try not to use prepared foods. I do the grocery shopping as well, for that reason. I do most of the day to day kitchen upkeep but my partner kinda likes to zone out and clean sometimes, so some weekend mornings will find her listening to music and wiping down ALL THE THINGS. She’s also nice enough to help out with loading the dishwasher, usually when I’ve hard a hard day with the kids or I’m sick or something. That leaves me with the sweeping, mopping, cleaning the oven, general tidying and rinsing the dishes as well as putting them away and trash. The kids are responsible for their rooms and cleaning up after themselves in the common areas, my daughter (the oldest) also sweeps the downstairs. I also do the finances, lawn and yard maintenance, general guy stuff, make the beds and police the upstairs (where the adult bedrooms are) for stray dishes and trash. My wife cleans the bathrooms on the weekends and laundry is divided among us all as I suck at folding clothes and ironing. My clothes generally don’t require any of that and they rightfully don’t trust me with their girly stuff 
. I’m likely forgetting things… oh well.
Right now, things are a bit different than normal since I’m recovering from a ruptured Achilles tendon. But in normal times:
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We have a cleaning lady come in once every other week who makes up the beds with fresh sheets, vacuums the carpets, sweeps the hard floors, cleans the bathroom sinks, tubs, and toilets, cleans the kitchen sink and counters, keeps the inside of the refrigerator clean, and probably some other things I’m forgetting.
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I do all the outdoor stuff: mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, trimming the shrubbery, putting out the trash and the recycle bin, sweeping the deck, stairs, and front walk, moving outdoor furniture into and out of winter storage, and keeping it clean, putting down mulch on flowerbeds, etc.
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I do the grubby indoor stuff: scooping the litter box, unclogging drains, cleaning up cat upchuck, stuff like that.
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She does roughly 90% of the cooking.
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I do ~90% of the cleaning up after meals: clearing the table, loading and running the dishwasher, washing anything that makes more sense to be washed by hand (usually the larger pots that would take up as much room as a few meals’ worth of plates), putting away leftovers and condiments, cleaning the counters, etc.
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She washes and puts away her clothes, I wash and put away mine. I usually wash the Firebug’s clothes, she usually puts them away. I wash the sheets and towels, and put them away. I usually haul her laundry baskets from our bedroom (second floor) to the laundry machines (basement) and back.
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She helps the Firebug with his homework, and handles any school-related stuff. (It’s a short line to type out, but it’s definitely not small potatoes.) I fix his breakfast; she fixes his lunch on days when he doesn’t want to buy the school lunch, and makes sure he’s got everything he needs that day when we leave the house. After Christmas or his birthday, she’s the one who makes sure he writes his thank-you notes. OTOH, I do a lot of outdoor stuff with the Firebug that takes us away from the house for hours at a time, and gives her a chance to rest. The week before I blew my tendon out, I took him up to the West Virginia mountains for a weekend, which gave her a whole weekend’s respite from parental duties. That sort of thing is likely to happen more as he gets older, once the tendon’s fully healed.
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I pay most of the bills; she pays some of them. I do the taxes, which really amounts to making sure we’ve got the documentation together, and inputting it into TurboTax.
I do the cooking, the grocery shopping, cat box duty, and the laundry. He cleans up after dinner, folds and puts away his clean clothes, scrubs the shower (my most hated chore!!!) and the bathrooms in general, and mostly cares for the dog. I usually vacuum or use the carpet shampooer because he’s just not all that good at it. We work together on general cleaning. I manage our finances because he doesn’t like to and doesn’t want to.
I do more yard work than he does because he hates yard work and he’s had multiple back surgeries, so that limits him. But he can still drive the John Deere around the yard - I just need to make sure lawn/garden borders are clearly delineated. We work together on projects. And I just have to ask if I need him to do something. It works out well overall.
I do all the laundry, 99% of the cleaning, and about 95% of the cooking
He does all the outdoor stuff, including lawn maintenance and snow removal, and general “fix-it” issues around the house.
I do wish the cooking and cleaning were more evenly split, but it’s one of those things where if I didn’t do it, it would never get done.
I do 100% of the large projects, ripping out walls, remodeling baths, building patios, that sort of thing and a little cleaning every now and then. And 98% of all work outside the house.
I do 90% of the cooking and maybe 50% of the kitchen cleaning.
I do absolutely everything involved in taking care of the dog, including a daily walk. I’m also the only one who voted NO on getting a dog.
A fairy does the laundry as far as I can tell. I throw clothes on the floor by the door and in a couple of days they reappear clean and folded. I know we have a washer/dryer, I installed them, but I have never used them. I’m screwed if that fairy stops working.
Most of the rest of the cleaning I wouldn’t even notice needed to be done until long after she was going crazy. If one person thinks the carpet needs to be vacuumned once a week and one couldn’t care less, who should do it? To me vacuuming every week is like cutting the grass in the winter because someone decided the grass should be cut every week. It’s just going through the motions.
Let’s see…
We both clean cat boxes (we “divide and conquer” every day) and do cat maintenance/feeding/etc.
We mostly cook our own stuff (with “cooking” usually being a grandiose term for “sticking stuff in the microwave.”) On the rare occasions that there are attempted acts of regular cooking, it’s me.
We each do our own laundry.
He does more of the general house cleanup than I do because he has a lower tolerance for mess and clutter than I do.
He usually loads up the dishwasher, and always does the kitchen cleanup on nights when I cook. Otherwise, we both do kitchen cleanup.
I do the finances.
He does the tax preparation (which amounts to rounding up all the forms to take to the preparer).
He does the general fix-it chores around the house (though neither of us is very good at them, he’s better than I am) and puts things together when necessary.
We do grocery shopping together, every Sunday afternoon.
I make various travel and logistical arrangements for whatever vacations/conventions/etc. we do.
We both gather up the trash, and he takes it out to the curb.
Very mysterious.
I snipped the rest of your post because the odd numbering of your list caught my attention. (Yes, I acknowledge that I’ve been known to count 1, β, iii, etc, but I’m SUPPOSED to be a weirdo). One of my younger employees–in the 22-25 range, I think–does this; when I took her to task for doing so in a proposal, she seemed befuddled and claimed that it’s common in her age group. May I ask how old you are? Was I wrong to think she was bullshitting me?
Check your PMs.
I always thought that was more of an engineer/computer science thing than an age thing. The spouse actually does this sometimes, and he’s quite a bit out of that age range. Of course, he also counts in hexadecimal sometimes, so I guess he’s not a good example. 
I’m virtually certain that she’s not an engineering or computer science type. I’m inclined to blame first the comic-book thing of giving flashback issues a #0, and second whoever decided to call a certain physical law the 0th law of thermodynamics (I understand the reasoning in both cases; it still irks me).
We share the cooking.
We share the cleanup (I put the leftovers away, he wipes down the counters, I load the dishwasher).
We share taking out the trash.
We share the laundry. He brings it downstairs and starts it up, we take turns check for dryness, we each hang or fold our own clothes.
We share poop cleanup.
He vacuums and cleans the toilets.
He does the grocery shopping. He is a couponer.
He does the finances.
I take out all the “little trashes” that are in each bathroom.
I have it good.
Meal planning, shopping for groceries, cooking: I do all planning & shopping as well as most of the cooking. If he cooks, it might be 1-2 dinners per week.
Laundry: He does his own and about twice per month might wash another load. I wash and fold all other laundry (not insubstantial for myself and two teen daughters).
Cleaning: I do all of this except unclogging drains (his bailiwick) and, in about 50% of the meals, he loads the dishwasher as long as it’s empty and ready to load. I do all dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, taking out the trash, seasonal cleaning, etc.
Finances: We pool money; he insists on handling all finances and doing the taxes.
Home repair: This would be his area (it’s his profession), but he rarely will undertake anything, even small things, and does not finish what he starts. Large jobs are hired out as a result, although he rarely allows this.
Parenting: For my two daughters, I do 99% of this. For his one daughter who remains at home, I also do 99% of this. Luckily she’s a great kid, almost no trouble at all, and I love her, so it’s fine - I just wish he would cultivate more of a relationship with her.
Automotive stuff: I take my car for routine stuff (tire rotation, oil changes) and he takes his. He insists on handling all auto repairs; I would rather use a professional mechanic, but it’s his choice.
Yardwork: He does all of this, including cleaning up after the dog.
It doesn’t feel equal, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that each of us thinks that s/he is doing the most!
So I know some couples have a joint account and draw everything from there (us), while other couples do all this stuff separately, and I gotta wonder, why overly split everything?
My wife and I have a joint checking account, and all our credit cards are in both our names. Most, if not all of our bills are set to ‘automatic payment’ to the checking account. We came to this consensus when we were planning our wedding, and what sold me on it was simplicity- it was just simpler to have everything consolated, and having it come out of the same ‘pot’. For me, this also helps remind me that everything we have (debts, assets) is pretty much shared- the money I earn from my job is ‘our’ money, not ‘mine’.
Some couples each have their own respective accounts, and split up the bills accordingly (I suppose one of them does a balance transfer for things like rent/mortgage?). The reasoning some people have said for this is that one person is ‘good with money’ and the other isn’t, so I guess it keeps the spendthrift one in check since if that account is empty, they can’t spend more but it doesn’t bankrupt both of them 
I mean I get everybody does stuff their own way, but I guess consolodating finances just feels…simpler?
I suppose it depends on how happy you are in your marriage, how trusting you are of your spouse, how optimistic you are about your current happiness remaining the case, and how cynical you are in general. Oh, and how much you worry about power issues.
I used to be in banking. On the retail side, I saw more than a few cases in which, during the dissolution of a marriage, one party cleared out the account, leaving the other temporarily destitute. This can be especially troublesome when one party works outside the home and the other does not. I also saw cases in which married couples had a joint account and one or both had a separate account at our bank. If one party got massively overdrawn, this could result in not merely the joint account getting raided, but the separate account as well. I think it’s called right of recourse. (I’m not sure; my retail banking days ended a decade ago.) This happened when one spouse had a gambling or drug problem, or a lover on the side, or even if one person just was the victim of identity theft.
My wife & I have a joint savings account at bank A. She has a separate checking account at another bank; I’ve a separate account at a third. If my personal checking account gets overdrafted for whatever reason, hers is safe, because I’m not an owner or signer on the account. We’re each Payable on Death on the other’s account to simplify things when the inevitable happens, but we’re somewhat insulated against some unfortunate eventualities.
While I agree trust/power plays a lot into it, I gotta wonder:
In California, aren’t all assets attained in the marraige split 50/50? So if a join acct has $10,000 and one spouse raids it and they divorce, doesn’t that spouse technically owe the other $5,000?
Sure by having a joint account I run the possible risk my wife might run off with some lothario and leave me broke, I’m not worried about that much because we have zero (and I mean zero ) debt. So at the worst I might be overdrawn/late until I balance things with the next paycheck. My credit takes a bit of a hit, but I’m fine.
To do everything completely separate, at least to me, seems like such an elaborate and unecessary step to prevent that possibility. 