My reaction to these types of threads is always, “Why?” Unless there are some underlying issues within a couple, I don’t see any benefits from maintaining multiple independent financial accounts, rather than fewer joint accounts.
We’ve always held everything jointly. When we married, she made more than me. Then she stopped working for a while. And then she resumed working part-time, earning much less than me. All that time, whatever each of us earned went into joint accounts. Same when we each inherited from our parents. To hold things separately always suggests to me that you are not committed to the relationship lasting.
I guess we are fortunate that our spending/saving preferences are consistent, and neither of us has a need to “hide” expenditures from the other. We both regularly carry cash we can spend on whatever we wish, and long had an agreement as to the amount we could independently spend w/o consulting the other (I don’t even know what it is now - maybe $100.) Just about any time one of us wants to spend anything larger, the discussion is simply “Is there money available? Are our expenses, safety fund, and planned large expenses (vacations, home repair, etc.) covered? If so, then spend it if you want.”
IMO, even if one of a duo is the primary breadwinner, if that person says their income is MY money rather than OUR money, then that person is a jerk and the relationship has issues.
IMO, managing and reviewing financial accounts is not so simple and fun that I wish to unnecessarily multiply the experience. Nor do I see a benefit from having different utility/financial accounts in different names. But that is just my experience. Different couples manage their finances in countless ways. Hope you find the one that works best for you.
Sorry - on EDIT I see recent responses indicating that the OP’s relationship DOES have what I would consider serious issues. Best of luck. Most importantly, I wish you luck in being able to find a decent job after time out of the workforce. IMO, it is horrible the way the job market discriminates against mature women who have been out of the market, and grossly undervalues their experience and skills