Married people need to be monogamous, and gays cannot be monogamous. So gays can't get married.

That’s not a carrot. It’s John Boehner.

a - Married
b - monogamous
c- gay

a—>b (if married then monogamous)

therefore (by countrapositive) : b’–>a’ (if not monogamous that not married)

c—>b’ (gays can’t be monogamous)

therefore

c—>a’ (if gay that can’t be married).
Perfectly logical.

Assuming a–>b and c–>b’ is true.

I for one welcome our new carrot overlords.

According to anti-gay protestors, people “choose” to be gay and can be turned straight.

Talking to protestors makes me realize the depth of human ignorance. Okay, you are entitled to your own opinions, but these people have their own facts; i.e. (these are all things I heard from anti-SSM and anti-abortion people:

All women regret an abortion. No woman regrets an adoption.
Mother Theresa worked to change the USA adoption laws.
C. Everett Koop was an OB/GYN.
Roe of Roe v. Wade was not even pregnant.
Gay adoption is child abuse.
Gay people are not capable of love. It’s all about lust.
Your sister the lesbian cannot possibly be monogamous.
A lesbian pregnant via rape should have the child and give it to a real family.

And my absolute favorite: Andrew Lloyd Webber had nothing to do with the song “Memory”

Of course, gay or no, if one has met the most perfect possible SO, there is really no need for any further adventure or variety. One is solidly secure in one’s choice, and if an errant eye lingers over a well-turned ankle, it is nothing but a bit of aesthetic perusal, abstract and inconsequential. Indeed, the utter lack of any actual consequence can be taken to be a reliable sign of solid commitment!

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Your wife buys that, eh?

Do we ever really know?

You don’t have to be a carrot. If you pray, God will turn you into a radish.

This one is sorta true. The case was argued before the Supreme Court in December 1971. It was re-argued in October 1972. And the court’s decision was issued in January 1973.

“Roe” (aka Norma McCorvey) had, of course, long since given birth to the child in question. The child was born in June 1970 before even the initial case was completed. (McCorvey later came forward as Jane Doe but the child’s identity has never been publicly revealed.)

They’re what vegetarian lesbians use.

And the wild ones taste better, too.