This one’s for the ladies who are married or in long term relationships (and for guys in the know, naturally):
What turns you on?
Thank you!
Men doing household chores. Seriously, those Porn for Women books aren’t really jokes. Nothing makes me hotter than coming home and discovering my husband has done the laundry (or whatever rotten job was on the chore list that day), made dinner, and have nothing to do for the evening, but think about erotic possibilities.
My SO agrees with that. She tells me that the nights I get home first and have the kids fed, dinner for us cooking, dishes done and sometimes even some vacuuming done make her feel like she found someone that respects her and doesn’t want her to be the domestic servant.
I, in return, get things done the way I want them. Which is my own pr0n.
My husband. Yowza. 
Watching boring TV together. I often end up finding something more… um… interesting to do.
The same things that turned me on when I was single. What’s the difference?
Look at me ladies, I’m doing your dishes! (Wearing nothing but an apron.)
An excerpt from my latest book:
…And she gazed upon him with burning desire as he grabbed the sponge with his masculine hand. Suds lingering between his thick fingers, he strokes the dirty casserole dish with a determination that was unmatched by any man before him…
I do almost all the housework and that just leaves Mrs. Hollister more time to read, play on Facebook, knit, or watch TV.
Can you have a chat with my wife please?
It’s mostly hormonal. There is one week of the month I can’t get enough. Other than that I just don’t care, and I hate that.
Uh, most people wear those on the front.
That may be true if by “turns you on”, the OP meant “allows you to spend more time watching reruns of The Closer.” Not that I have a problem with my wife watching TV, it’s just that I know this old “do more chores, get more sex” mem is false.
Smart men.
Mr. Panda’s ass (it’s art, seriously)
Dark haired fluffy guys
I um…I agree with this. I am become codger, the keeper of lawns.
Dude. Chicks are not turned on by tense changes. But if you can demonstrate subject-verb agreement you’ll get laid till there’s nothing left of your little fellah but a stump.
I agree with ‘when my husband does the chores’ sentiment. Not because it is, in itself, sexy but because it means less things for me to have to worry about giving my brain free time to think sexy thoughts.
The more I have to do the less sexy I feel.
Pepper Mill checks through all my manuscripts before I send them out, and, sadly, this last sentence isn’t true. At least in my experience. Your womenfolk may be more excited by proper grammar.
Could you dumb this down a couple of notches so I can uderstand it?
Oh, also–opportunities to dress up and feel sexy and glamorous. The last time we went to a wedding, we did it three times in eight hours. Mostly because I was wearing a really great dress and really great undies that made me feel like I wanted to.
but are you on a horse?