I don’t think I have. Basically, I was taken in by the Andrew Fucking Wakefield “study,” and the research that those around me steered me to was full of information about how vaccine preventable illnesses just happened to be going into decline through the “natural lifecycle” of the pathogens and with the rise of sanitation. Vaccination was presented as a coincidence that was correlated, but not causing the decline of vaccine preventable illness. Throw in some poisoning of our precious bodily fluids, some “natural immunity is stronger and lifelong” and a healthy dollop of libertarianism (“how dare they tell me what I MUST put in my body?!”) and you have a recipe for pseudoscience and social pressure that was just strong enough to persuade me that mandatory vaccination was Teh Evil.
My son had already had all of his vaccines, so it wasn’t an issue for me personally at that time, but I did feel properly guilty and outraged that I’d been lied to and bullied by the Medical Establishment and allowed them to vaccinate him.
And, here’s the big secret - there’s a lot of anti-vaxxers who secretly vaccinate their own children. I know this because I was at the time working the front desk at an alternative medical clinic where many community members would have their children’s vaccination records faxed for school (this was before many people had fax machines at home or used online fax services.) They would go through torturous logical leaps to apologetically explain to me how their precious snowflakes had to be vaccinated, or had been vaccinated before they “knew better,” but really, honest to gosh they were against vaccines now.
My daughter was born about 6 months after I left that job and constant contact with that community. So that’s when it became a personal issue again. She was a micropreemie, and there’s no special vaccination schedule for preemies (or there wasn’t then). They wanted to give her her first vaccines in her first week of life, even though she wasn’t due to be *born *for another four months. That made me very uncomfortable, and to be honest, it still does. I cannot imagine that there have been safety and efficacy studies on a decent number of micropreemies, because there just aren’t that many people who have been born as early as she was and survived. And since she was in the NICU where we scrubbed our skin raw before visiting and stayed away when we were sick, not going to grocery stores and malls and buses to be exposed to much, I declined to vaccinate her at that point, saying I would discuss it with her pediatrician when we were closer to her due date. The nurse didn’t even press a little bit, rather she snatched the paper away with an air of relief and, “Okay, no problem!” and I was never asked again in the NICU. Later when I got to know her better, she privately admitted she shared my concerns and wouldn’t have vaccinated her own baby had she been in that situation.
Once WhyBaby was at her due date, I had a good long talk with her pediatrician, who, much like DSeid, helped to break down for me the “really important” vaccines and got me to agree to those, while delaying the HepB and Chicken Pox (and maybe a couple of others; I don’t recall.) She used the baby’s preemie status as leverage, explaining that she was at much greater risk of having severe respiratory issues and complications than a full term infant.
Then I decided to go to nursing school. In order to do that, I had to take Microbiology. There, we learned a bit about immunology and how vaccines work, and the more I learned, the more I realized that the fears of antivaxxers are just fundamentally based on complete lack of understanding about how vaccines work and how much the immune system can handle. The idea that a half dozen vaccines at once is somehow “too much” for a baby’s immune system is ridiculous when you realize that the baby is already fighting off literally thousands of pathogens every day. I learned that naturally acquired immunity is not always superior, and that in the case of things like chicken pox is actually a liability when shingles is taken into account. I learned that they weren’t trying to give my baby the HepB because they thought she would be a drug user or sexually active, but because it’s difficult to get parents to bring teenagers in to the doctor (and parents overestimate when their children become sexually/drug active), so if you vaccinate babies, you get more people protected.
So then we got her caught up on her vaccines, and that’s the end of that story. 