Masturbation etiquette

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’ve never been in a living situation where I didnt have enough privacy to take care of myself when the urge arises, but sometimes i’ll hear embarassing stories about someone who walked in on someone/witnessed them masturbating. This is usually in the context of college dorms/military where you have people sleeping in the same shared space. Is there some kind of…etiquette to handling (heh) these situations in a way that is considerate to other people? Like code words, sock on the doorknob, stuff like that? I hear a lot of funny anecdotes of people having to put up with bunkmates who are rather unashamed and inconsiderate masturbators. It almost seems like an all or nothing type deal- either you just do without and eliminate the risk of discovery/grossing people out, or you dont care.

All the anecdotes I hear involve guys (who carry the stereotype of being perpetually horny) but I never hear of this issue with women in similar envronments. Are women just more discreet/considerate about this kind of thing?

2

From the movies I’ve seen, the women assist each other.

3

Sure, until the pizza guy arrives.

4

Generally just after they get done having a pillow fight and comparing breasts.

5

My experience with this sort of thing has always been, “Take it to the bathroom”

6

In college I knew my roommate’s schedule well and would take care of business while he was out.

We walked in on each other a couple of times and would always just close the door again and come back in a few minutes.

7

Pinky out? :stuck_out_tongue:

8

I never had to share a room, but I’ve read stories (I think it was at Hyperbole and a Half) of women who just don’t care.

I think we mostly handle it like guys do - either do it in the shower or when the roommates aren’t around / are asleep.

9

The person entering from the left gets to climax first.

10

I saw those documentaries too.

11

If you walk in on someone in the process of self-discovery, just say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you two” and leave. This will simultaneously a) reduce that person’s embarrassment by implying that you didn’t really get a good look and b) reduce that’s person’s embarrassment at not having had a sex partner.

12

My take on it.*

*Actually from some comic’s routine, but I don’t know who it was.

13

You have caused me to search through Hyperbole and a Half for anything about masturbation, and women roommates who don’t care, and all it turned up was a blog post that mentioned the scary *guy *in the room below her masturbating loudly.

Please help me find what you’re talking about, and/or create your own blog with one to many posts on the subject.

TIA

14

What you want to do is yell “Housekeeping!” nine or maybe fourteen times, really loudly.
WARNING: NSFW video

15

Wash your hands afterward. I don’t care if I catch you engaged in the act, just clean up after.

16

That’s why I keep a wet/dry vac next to my bed.

17

I thought she had a series of posts about scary roommates and one was in college who insisted on leaving a very large vibrator just randomly places.

I can’t find it.

ETA: It looks like she took it down or something. There’s an archived version here: http://www.nastyprisms.com/temp/cache/hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/11/roommates-part-3.html

18

I walked in on my hubby once. :eek:

Apologize profusely while running out. Never bother him when “napping” again. (In my defense, I needed to get something out of the room and figured he would never notice me tip-toeing in!)

I felt AWFUL for days. I have no problem with him doing so, the girls in those magazines do things that I won’t, and they are generally much hotter than I am.

19

Etiquette? I always make a point to call the next day and say what a nice time I had.

20

Wouldn’t a handwritten note be better?