Masturbation etiquette

I’ve never been in a living situation where I didnt have enough privacy to take care of myself when the urge arises, but sometimes i’ll hear embarassing stories about someone who walked in on someone/witnessed them masturbating. This is usually in the context of college dorms/military where you have people sleeping in the same shared space. Is there some kind of…etiquette to handling (heh) these situations in a way that is considerate to other people? Like code words, sock on the doorknob, stuff like that? I hear a lot of funny anecdotes of people having to put up with bunkmates who are rather unashamed and inconsiderate masturbators. It almost seems like an all or nothing type deal- either you just do without and eliminate the risk of discovery/grossing people out, or you dont care.

All the anecdotes I hear involve guys (who carry the stereotype of being perpetually horny) but I never hear of this issue with women in similar envronments. Are women just more discreet/considerate about this kind of thing?

From the movies I’ve seen, the women assist each other.

Sure, until the pizza guy arrives.

Generally just after they get done having a pillow fight and comparing breasts.

My experience with this sort of thing has always been, “Take it to the bathroom”

In college I knew my roommate’s schedule well and would take care of business while he was out.

We walked in on each other a couple of times and would always just close the door again and come back in a few minutes.

Pinky out? :stuck_out_tongue:

I never had to share a room, but I’ve read stories (I think it was at Hyperbole and a Half) of women who just don’t care.

I think we mostly handle it like guys do - either do it in the shower or when the roommates aren’t around / are asleep.

The person entering from the left gets to climax first.

I saw those documentaries too.

If you walk in on someone in the process of self-discovery, just say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you two” and leave. This will simultaneously a) reduce that person’s embarrassment by implying that you didn’t really get a good look and b) reduce that’s person’s embarrassment at not having had a sex partner.

My take on it.*

*Actually from some comic’s routine, but I don’t know who it was.

You have caused me to search through Hyperbole and a Half for anything about masturbation, and women roommates who don’t care, and all it turned up was a blog post that mentioned the scary *guy *in the room below her masturbating loudly.

Please help me find what you’re talking about, and/or create your own blog with one to many posts on the subject.


What you want to do is yell “Housekeeping!” nine or maybe fourteen times, really loudly.

Wash your hands afterward. I don’t care if I catch you engaged in the act, just clean up after.

That’s why I keep a wet/dry vac next to my bed.

I thought she had a series of posts about scary roommates and one was in college who insisted on leaving a very large vibrator just randomly places.

I can’t find it.

ETA: It looks like she took it down or something. There’s an archived version here:

I walked in on my hubby once. :eek:

Apologize profusely while running out. Never bother him when “napping” again. (In my defense, I needed to get something out of the room and figured he would never notice me tip-toeing in!)

I felt AWFUL for days. I have no problem with him doing so, the girls in those magazines do things that I won’t, and they are generally much hotter than I am.

Etiquette? I always make a point to call the next day and say what a nice time I had.

Wouldn’t a handwritten note be better?