Masturbation - Ur Doin it wrong.;_ylt=AkP7gHE8xtygsONh5xSDbIqek3QF

You ever have one of those days? :smack:

No, I have never had a day like that. I have never once accidentally shot myself or knocked myself unconscious on the stove while trying to masturbate.

She wouldn’t bang him, so he decided to bang himself?

Was the oven on? You really need to preheat . . .

He rubbed the wrong rod.

You know what they say. If you don’t masturbate beforehand, it’s like carrying a loaded gun.


“I Masturbated to Sarah Palin!”

The story didn’t include any geographical fine detail but I’m willing to bet a dollar or so that this all happened in East Fort Myers or maybe in Pine Manor.

Are they sure it was the gun that went off? Y’know, some of those good ol’ boys can get really backed up when they don’t get any fer awhile! And afterward, when your blood pressure falls really fast … well, a guy can fall and hit his head on something.

“This is my rifle, this is my gun…”

:confused: I don’t get it. The police walk in to find a guy unconscious on the floor with gunshot wounds and they believe he shot himself and tried to shove himself into an oven.

Would that be your first deduction? Even with the girlfriend’s testimony?

Did she change her mind? Because I’m absolutely not shooting myself in the arm unless I know it really works.

This elicited some :dubious: from me as well. Particularly the part where he has multiple self-inflicted gunshot wounds.

I guess stranger things have happened, though.

They call it Fort Misery for a reason, folks.

Well, I guess he answered Mae West’s question:
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I still don’t understand this guy, if he’s horney and gets turned down for sex there are better things he could do than shoot himself in the arm. If he’s mentally ill and getting turned down for sex makes him suicidal, he missed. If he thought shooting himself twice and bashing his head into the oven would get her to change her mind then…


Honestly I’ve probably done dumber things to get a woman to sleep with me. I don’t recall any of them working either.

So, I guess it’s safe to say he doesn’t, uhmmm, shoot blanks.

Dumber than shooting yourself multiple times and knocking yourself unconscious?!


Please share. Those must be some stories.