This is our first child and we really were not expecting it. I’m only at 10 weeks and my boss is pushing for how long I’m going to take off for maternity leave.
Working out the finances we can only afford for me to take 3 months off. So I told my boss this today, put it in a nice little letter for him and everything. He comes back to me later and says the Executive Council (read – they who must be obeyed) would prefer it if I took at least two months off before I give birth and a few months afterwards. Apparently they are concerned for my and the baby’s health and well being.
As this is my first pregnancy I don’t really know what will happen, I do know that more than 3 months off work = no money = no food.
So dopers enlighten me please, do I need more time off before or after giving birth? What was your experience?
Unless your doctor has you take that much time off beforehand, you shouldn’t need two months off before the birth, IME. (Not a mom, but I know many of them.)
I would speak with your doctor, Leechy and then advise your boss that regardless of what the council would prefer, your’e taking off ‘X’ amount of time. I wouldn’t advise this if they were trying to negotiate with you in good faith, but they’re being knobs, so you’ll have to inform them how it’s going to be.
If you’re having problems with your pregnancy, or your work is very strenous, I could see taking off earlier, but most women can work up closer to delivery.
I don’t know what the Aussie laws are regarding leave, disability pay, etc, but I encourage you to look into them now.
I took off 6 weeks with my son and 3 months with my daughter. 3 months was much better. If I could have afforded it, I would have taken more time. I worked up until a week before my son was born and up until a few days before my daughter was born.
I’ve spoken with my Doctor and he said I could work right up to the day I gave birth if I wanted to. I’ve told my boss this but I might get it in writing to give to the Executive, that way they can not argue with my decision.
I thought I’d take a month off beforehand just to prepare for the whole baby thing.
While more time is obviously a Good Thing for the majority of women, most people are fond of eating and paying bills and the like. Speak to your doctor or midwife, get their recommendation in writing and put your request in writing.
I still think you need to talk to the Human Rights Commission and get an opinion on the whole situation.
I’m sorry it is like this for you – unnecessary stress just sucks.
It’s enormously difficult to tell at 10 weeks just how you’re going to be feeling physically at the end of the pregnancy.
I’d be loathe to commit anything to writing until after your 3 month check-up (and maybe even your 6 month check-up, if you’re employment contract doesn’t require you to give them more than 2 months notice).
What you’re going to “need” is going to hinge almost entirely on the state of your own and bubbaleechie’s health during the final trimester, birth, and the neonatal period.
By all means give them a rough indication of your intentions right now, but be wary of attaching specific dates to those intentions at this point.
Oh another thought – check out what you are entitled to from Centrelink. Poking around on their ohsowonderful website, i found sickness allowance and it appears to me that if you had medical complications from the pregnancy you may be entitled to sickness allowance.
However taking a month off because your employer said so, it doesn’t appear that you would be.
I took maternity leave last year. I have a very active physical job, and was able to work up until the day I delivered (except for the lifting part of the job). I was glad to be able to work that long, it took my mind off of being so damned pregnant.
Then, when baby got here, I had all of my maternity leave to spend with him, instead of hurrying back to work. Well, ok, so I only took 6 weeks off, but I’m a single working mom, so it’s probably different for you.
Take the time after your baby is born, you will need it then.
On behalf of the nonchildbearers who will be in the office the entire time, just wanted to offer my politically unpopular support for you being out of the active workforce the minimum amount of time possible.
Unless there are complications with your pregnancy or you have a very strenuous job, there is no earthly reason for you to stop working two months early. For one thing, you’d go nuts waiting around worrying about money. If things go normally, you’ll be feeling a lot more energetic than you are now. The first part of the pregnancy is usually the worst for sickness and fatigue. It sounds like your boss needs a little education about pregnancy.
Assuming that you have no complications, there is no reason that you can’t work until shortly before your due date. I left work about at about 35 weeks, but I was very uncomfortable and had terrible morning sickness, and it was not a sit-down job. But many people can work right up until delivery. In fact, I wish I could have worked that long, because the weeks of waiting were pretty boring and frustrating. Work would have been a welcome distraction.
I’d say that you are wise to push for the time off after the birth. There really isn’t all that much to do to get ready. Well, there’s a lot to do, but it isn’t a full time job, and you have 6 months of pregnancy ahead of you to do it in. It’s after the baby is born that there is a lot to do!
Thanks for the feeback everyone. All my job involves is sitting around in an office typing at a computer and answering the telephone. I think the hardest part will be getting to work and walking upstairs to my office.
We have a caravan show in early April and I’m due late May. Everyone seems stressed about how I will handle this but I’ve spoken to the other girl who works in the office with me during shows and she is sure that together we can work it out. Mostly working in the show office involves standing behind a desk answering questions, not that hard really.
When I was pregnant, I was working as an advisor at a junior college - mostly paperwork and talking to students. I worked up to the last day - in fact, my coworkers were afraid I’d go into labor at the office. As it happened, the kid started coming in the middle of the night. Apart from the discomfort of my daughter kicking my internal organs several times a day, the pregnancy was no big deal.
Unfortunately for me, money was a real issue at the time and I had to go back to work 3 weeks after I gave birth. I was fortunate enough to find excellent day care and because she was so young, she was an instant favorite in the baby room. Not that I’d ever recommend anyone go back to work so soon if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, but it can be done successfully. have I ever mentioned that my daughter is the Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup]??
I worked up until about a week before and went back when baby was 8 weeks old. Don’t let them force you into a financial predicament! If you and your doctor agree that you’re OK, go ahead and work!
Looking around at the recently preggers women in the office, and among my friends, I see that every single one of them (um-- call it 15 births in the past two years) worked until just before she was due, and then took the legally mandated six months of maternity leave plus six months of parental leave. Fully paid. And whatever company they work for hires someone on a six-to-12 month mat leave contract.
I think it’s insane that your boss wants you to take two months off before you even give birth! I was going to college when I was pregnant with my first and I kept going to school everyday until I had her. I took 6 months off after she was born and then went back and finished school. With my second I was working a full time job and was recently divorced but I worked until the day I had him. In fact, my labor started about 5:00 in the morning and I went in to work from 8:00 - 10:00 to tie up some loose ends before I went on my 10 week maternity leave. (Kind of freaked my boss out when he came to work and I told him my labor had started!) I was supposed to be induced in 6 days but I guess my baby didn’t want to wait that long. I took 10 weeks off with him even though I only had enough sick leave/vacation to pay me for 6 weeks off. I was a single mom back then but I planned ahead and saved every penny I could so I’d have enough money saved up to take that amount of time off.
Definitely don’t committ to anything until you’re closer to your due date. Unless you have a high-risk pregnancy or do extremely strenuous work I wouldn’t even consider taking more than a week or two off before the birth. You’ll enjoy your time off much more after the baby is born!!
Good luck!
And to Barbarian… I wish the USA would have maternity leave like that! I’d absolutely* love* to take a year off with my baby!!
My daughter was born September 20th - a Monday. I was at work September 18th, a Friday. Would have gone into work Monday had my water not broken at 3:00am.
She was, however, not due until October 13th.
(One of my co-workers was at work at 9:00am, her baby was born around 1:00pm).
Here is the thing on babies. A healthy baby can be born anytime between 37 and 42 weeks. So planning on taking a month off before the baby is born may mean you are home a week, when POP! Or it can mean you are sitting on your (by this time quite sore) butt for six weeks and then end up being induced. In other words, don’t make any plans that require a smaller than six week window.
(BTW, I had two months off maternity leave - and needed a full month before I could walk up steps pain free).
I’ve had six babies; my own age range was 22-33. i only worked before the first two, and felt fine right up until delivery. it was that way with the first 4, but with the last 2 i was sick and miserable and had things like sciatica to deal with. i wouldn’t have been a good employee for anyone. don’t know whether that’s due to age, or just having had so dang many of the little dears.
i am also a person who had morning sickness the whole term. others have it only briefly or not at all.
five of my labors were a little longer than average but the deliveries were all easy compared to what i’ve heard from others. only one was somewhat difficult. i’d say i was up and around feeling quite normal after between 2 and 4 weeks with each.
as far as bonding with them, i felt that instantly, and i do feel it’s owing to breastfeeding. i’d recommend that anyone who can be at home for any length should try it out for a little while, and even when you need to get to an out-of-home routine, and perhaps full time bottles, you’ll have had this close experience with the baby and boosted their immunities. some say the baby won’t adjust to the change, but i’ve got plenty of friends and aquaintances for whom that was never true. young babies are adaptable as a matter of nature: they must be because the world has not always been an easy place for them to start off in, and their ability to survive depended on adaptability.
but just touching and loving and nuzzling and bathing and changing are all bonding experiences as well. you want as much of that as possible, in between your naps!
my whole point is that it’s never exactly the same, and one rule to apply to all just doesn’t cut it. if you’re young and healthy, why be at home fidgeting around waiting, when you only have a short time left as a person who belongs only to herself? OTOH, you do want to limit stress beforehand, if possible.
i have the luxury (and “poverty!”) of being at home with my children full time. but i’ll always appreciate the memories i have of being this independent young woman with my own schedule and goals to work with. no one should decide when it’s time to alter that program except you-and your doctor or midwife, of course.
Let me emphatically second Dangerosa here. My sons were born 15 and 5 days overdue, respectively. First babies are born on average about one week past the so-called due date and close to two weeks is not unusual. The only reason they rarely go over two weeks overdue is because most doctors and midwives these days won’t allow it - my older son would have been induced a day or two earlier if I hadn’t shown all the signs of being just about ready to pop. Take off before the baby’s due, and you may find yourself “wasting” two weeks just sitting around slowly going insane. Those last weeks are hard enough without worrying about maternity leave being thrown out the window.
Unless your boss and the executive committee are willing to offer some better financial support, save as much of your short maternity leave as possible for after the baby is here.
Incidentally, Norway has very generous maternity leave and policy here is only to take off three weeks before the baby’s due - two months seems excessive unless you’re carrying high order multiples or are really miserable.
I took 10 weeks off with him even though I only had enough sick leave/vacation to pay me for 6 weeks off. I was a single mom back then but I planned ahead and saved every penny I could so I’d have enough money saved up to take that amount of time off.