Who would win in an all-out battle to the death?
Alvin’s cousin, William Saroyan.
I see, you’re all dumbfounded by the idea of Matlock or the Chipmunks fighting. But it could happen, I tell you!
The Chipettes!
All the chipmonks need to do is steal Matlock’s pills and it’s all over for the guy.
Is Matlock prepared? Do the Chipmunks have a 1920’s style “Death Ray”? I need to know these things before I would know who would win if they were to fight.
The Chipmunks…because, as we all know, they’re actually a “sleeper squad” of Soviet agents, left over from the cold war. They were developed to identify and recruit potential fifth columnists under their civilian “entertainer” guise, and to organize and launch a communist putsch when “activated.”
The original Chipmunks, of course, were the product of the secret Soviet hybridization/bio engineering facility at Sverdlovsk. Curiously, although they first infiltrated the United States in 1958, the Chipettes, their “counterpart” series in the “Weapon: Munk” program, were not deployed until 1983…a nearly 24 year gap. This has indicated to defense analysts that the original Chipmunks were little more than advanced prototypes—rushed into active operation, if not full scale production.
Glasnost, and the later collapse of the Soviet Empire, have largely removed the threat of the Munks’ being “awoken.” However, they are who they are…creatures of enormous powers, and frightening abilities. They are not to be trifled with.
The Chipmunks – they’d do the version of “My Sharonna” from “Chipmunk Punk” (yup, I’ve got a copy, on vinyl) – and when they got to the first “my my my my WHEEE!,” Matlock’s head would explode.