Wait, stop the presses !
Did I read that right ?
Satan’s brother is a minister ?
Ah well, it just goes to show, you never know
what will happen next.
ROFLMBFBO
Ayesha - Lioness
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
But wouldn’t that make *pluto a bit jealous?
AARGHH!!! I finally say something literate and apropos, and I mess up the coding! Damn, damn, DAMN!
“Don’t take life too serious, son – it ain’t nohow permanent.”
Brian— I haven’t been here too long, but to be honest, I always wondered about the fact that you and Heather were together. There just seemed to be a…errrr…discrepancy.
So sorry you’re hurting. Hope it doesn’t put your kick-ass sense of humor out of commission too long, that would be a tragedy.
I’m going to echo elelle on this one, Satan. I don’t know you too well, so I can’t make much of a judgement about your relationship with Heather. But what little I can say, based on what I’ve seen on the SDMB, is that you are a literate, mature, considerate, contemplative, articulate person. Heather…well…there’s that discrepancy.
Her list to you reminded me of someone I dated a few years back. He sent me a letter telling me how I need to behave on a date, and in it he said he was being “vonnerable” (as Heather was saying she was “adamit”)…funny, but that single word coupled with the rest of the letter summed it all up for me.
I have to agree–you can (and surely will) do better. I’d like to say go get Ben and Jerry’s, but that’s more a chick thing to do. So…um…drink beer, piss on things, fart, read the “Guy Stuff” thread a few times; treat yourself.
And hey, I’ve posted about a friend considering abortion and a student whose house burned down–this place is great for sharing and support. ::::cheesy music in background:::: “You are not alone!” And indeed–you’re not! 
I used to think the world was against me. Now I know better. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Satan, the “wants, needs, hates and all the rest” sounds more like a list of demands than expectations. I also think that the Dear John E-mail was hitting below the belt and unnecessarily cruel.
You’re going to get past this, Satan. And you’ll find someone that will make you completely forget what’s-her-name.
You could get a copy of Rich Hall’s book Self Help for the Bleak. It discusses the four tires of life. Read the chapter on the Love Tire. It should not be overinflated. I also recommend Dave Barry’s book about guys. It doesn’t help at all, but it explains why things will always be this way.
Satan, first of all, you have all my sympathy regarding your breakup and I will give you no advice, since you’ll figure out what you want to do and how you feel all by yourself.
Second, I do think it was kind of uncool to post your ex-girlfriend’s mail. She wrote that to you, not to all the rest of us. You probably ought to delete it.
Satan, reading Heather’s email has only affirmed me of one of the truisms of life:
Women named Heather cannot be trusted.
Hang in there and I shall eat some chocolate in your honor.
Poor Brian 
It sucks, it really does. It’s so damn disappointing when these things don’t work out; all that hoping and planning shot to heck. Sigh.
I don’t really understand why so many people want to be told why they’re being broken up with, though. Last thing I want to hear is a litany of all the reasons I’m not suitable from someone who’s already made up his mind to go. I mean, what am I going to do? Argue? Change? “We’re just not right for each other” will do just fine for me, thanks. Devastating as it is, it’s a lot better than hearing how someone thought I was right for them, then found out (with supporting documentation) exactly why I wasn’t.
Catrandom
Satan:
I am very new to this site(this being my
whopping third post), but I have been reading
your goings on via ChrisCTP’s screen for quite some time. I am sorry that life is sucking for you right now, but I do have some input. Whether or not you choose to use it, well, that is entirely up to you.
I am a firm believer in the theory in the idea that “Those who cannot do, teach.”
I have been dumped more than a couple of times and know from past experience that revenge is the wrong way to go. Years of brooding, self-destruction, bitterness and evil thoughts over dead relationships only tend to lead to ulcers, drinking problems and a generally bleak outlook on life. Just ask ChrisCTP…she has put up with my hysterical,
pathetic ranting and raving for years 
My advice to you: Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t brood over the fact that it did happen. Find something to do that will occupy you while you find a way to deal with it in your head and heart. I strongly suggest pulling the wings off a hundred flies then telling them to fly away home. Or, if that doesn’t do it for you, try a new hobby like making sculptures of famous writers out of old rusted cheese graters and masking tape. I personally have a soft spot in my heart for pasting pictures of my ex on my dart board, tipping the darts (metal, of course) with cyanide and throwing them at the picture while dreaming about what it would do to the aforementioned ex if they were really there.
Silliness aside, the basic gist of it is cope, don’t mope. You don’t wanna be like me when you grow up.
P.S: If it must be revenge, the best one I’ve ever found is to better yourself and make the other person look like crap. Then they see you and want you back but you get the smug satisfaction of denying them.
[“One evening I pulled Beauty down on my knees.
I found her embittered and I cursed her.”
–Excerpt from Une Saison en Enfer
–A. Rimbaud/]
Satan,
I do not know you aside from the parts of yourself you have shared on these forums, but you have my sympathy. It seems obvious from the nature of your posts and the content of those emails that there were deep discrepancies between your nature and Heather’s. I hope you heal quickly and well and are able to put the painful aspects of this breakup behind you without losing those things that made you enter the relationship in the first place.
I agree entirely with this statement. But I do not feel it answers the compelling question.
As I understand it, the circumstances are: Heatherlee broke up with Satan in a hurtful, clumsy and immature manner. Satan, as a result, was hurt, angry and desirous of support from his friends.
I fail to see that these circumstances have great impact upon the ethical decision to publicize personal correspondences with the intent of harming the writer’s standing/reputation. I am not saying that it was unethical to post those letters, but I do not think the question can be swept away simply with an appeal to circumstances.
To be clear: Satan has (so far as I undersatnd) the legal right to make these letters public. The letters (assuming they are authentic and undoctored, which I do) powerfully and effectively demonstrate that Satan was treated badly in at least this phase of the relationship. Heatherlee has made no public statements on this board (that I know of) placing any blame for the breakup on Satan. Satan felt a very human and natural desire to express his pain and anger, as well as to seek the support of his friends. He decided to post these personal letters as one way of achieving those emotional desires.
Is it a clear ethical violation? Not to me.
Is it ethically questionable? It is to me.
Should Satan have done it? He will have to answer that for himself, but the question is whether he feels justified in publicizing private correspondence for his own ends. These particular circumstances, while perhaps mitigating, do not justify the action in their own right.
Would I have done it? No.
PS – This is not meant to be an attack, Satan. I truly do sympathize with you. I think every person who hass suffered this particular type of heaartache must.
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
Satan–I realize that all I know of you is what I can read on this board and it is all filtered through someone else’s perspective (yours, hers, his) so I don’t claim to know alot about you. That being said, from what I have read, I just have to say that you rule! Sorry for the junior high slang but I don’t know of a better word to describe what an all-around cool guy you seem to be.
I just want to echo all the “this sucks” and “you can do better” posts. I mean, if I weren’t married, I’d have to say that I would have been flirting with you in a big way for months! 
So far as the backlash against posting Heather’s e-mails, it reminds me of a sig line I saw someone on here use. (I apologize, I have no idea who it was) The sig line said something about when you do bad things, they are not really bad because when you did them you thought you were doing something right for someone. (If I had the actual quote this would make much more sense!) ANYWAY–what I’m trying to say is no matter what other people say, do not regret putting her e-mails on here or, for that matter, staying with her as long as you did. Neither were stupid and neither were bad, they were just right for you at the time. So if you feel you should take action (i.e. remove the posts), do it with the mindset of moving forward–not backtracking to cover something up.
Or you could just ignore my bizarre, pointless, inane ramblings and consider yourself lucky that you’re NOT involved with the likes of me! (You know, the old “could-be-worse” defense mechanism!)
Born O.K. the first time…
If you are born again, do you have two belly buttons?
OK. I’m gonna be the first to jump on the boat to Cuba !
Fretful,
Not only did you screw up the coding, you also screwed up the content
Persephone was Hades’ chick. Not that she wanted it… check this out, for example: http://condor.wesleyan.edu/HyperNews/get/cciv110/54.html
), we can not be truely surprised that Hades is also related, eh ?Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
Now that Satan is on the rebound, the next girl he is going to date is me. That is the way it always works.
Seriously though, sorry to hear about the lovelife. I know how much it sucks.
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.–Coleridge
Michelle: A friend of mine claimed she ended up with these guys just after they broke up with someone. She was the eternal in between woman, a short relationship as they moved onto their next lengthy romance.
You don’t want to be there.
Satan, a word of advice: EXERCISE! For weeks right after a horrible break-up, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, and I was obsessing over this person who screwed me over. Then I discovered the beauty of exercise! After an hour on the treadmill, followed by a half hour lifting weights, you’ll be so EXHAUSTED that you’ll be glad to see that bed at the end of the day. You’ll have no energy left to obsess over whatshersname. Plus you’ll get rid of all that shit in your stomach that anger brings on. (Those who’ve been there know what I mean.) At the gym you can concentrate on how much your lungs hurt as opposed to how much your heart aches. And, as an added bonus, you’ll start to feel better and look better right away.
Keeping all this internalized is not good for you. Get your anger and frustration out on the weight bench.
Brian,
I also am a relative newbie, but I share in the opinions of many here. It’s blatanly obviouse to most of us how different you two were. Not that you can’t be in a relationship with someone that has different interests, or maybe is less expirienced in life, but it is extreamly difficult. You have my deepest sympathies.
I’ve been through my share of breakup’s…the worse was kinda like yours. Unexpected, compleatly caught me off-guard. She not only broke up with me, but she had already been seeing someone for a few weeks…(sigh) The worse part was that he was such a loser…I mean I wouldn’t have minded so much if he was a stud or something, but this was geek-boy incarnate. Anyway, I was so devastated by this breakup, that I didn’t go to my apartment for about 3 months…slept on the floor of my work (I was in the Navy Overseas at the time) Only went home during the day to pay bills, get new clothes…etc. Hang in there…It will get better…someday. Untill then, always know that you have friends here that are more than happy to lend you a hand to shake, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and arms to embrace you.
Kris
“Love thine enemies…it really pisses them off.”
-Anon
Sunbear, your friend cannot be the In-Between Woman because that is MY job. Has been for years!
When I first met the Weenie Head he was in the process of moving out of the apartment he and his girlfriend shared. At that time we were only friends, so I went over there to help him pack. As he was going through his things, he would come across some trinket or picture, and hold it up and say, “Oh, this is from the time she and I did this, or went there, etc…” He was so upset. I remember thinking to myself, “What a great guy, he is so sad to be breaking up with his girlfriend, he really cares. I hope one day I can find a guy like that.” Well about a month later I was dating HIM, and it was AWFUL. It was a classic example of being Rebound Woman. He is just one example.
So, Satan, now it is your turn. I’m not sure how far away you live from Tampa, but I’ll leave a light burning in the window for you.
evilbeth, is that my sig you mean?
Brian, you have my condolences. Though I never thought much of Heather (you might have noticed) you always seemed OK. You deserve, and will find, much better.
As for posting her letters: she was always quite happy to share every intimate detail of the relationship, so I don’t think she could complain about the details of the breakup becoming public either.
Never regret what seemed like a good idea at the time.