We didn’t stop the virus/Could have been prevented/But our leader’s demented.
Chris Farley voice-that was awesome
I’m not on the SNL ‘vetted/approved/related to someone’ list (and they’re done for the season anyway).
Maybe Colbert. He could pull it off…
Hey is there some kind of NEC reason why my breaker panel, currently on a wall in my basement, isn’t instead on the wall at the top of the stairs leading to the basement? I have two wells/pits down there, and each get pumped out independently. One is the sorm water sump pump, and the other is for the washing machine/water softener/utility sink/floor drain. The pumps in each pit failed simultaneously a few weekends ago, and I got about three inches of water in the basement. Against common sense, I quickly poked my toe into the water to see if it was electrified. It was not. So I sloshed through the basement, all the way to the far wall where I flipped the breakers for the washing machine, furnace, and water heater.
Now how come I couldn’t just do that from the top of the stairs?
I respectfully reject your rant. Breaker panels are the entry points of electricity into the house, so they should be located as close as possible to where the electricity actually does enter the house. Otherwise you have long lengths of still-live wiring even after you shut it off. In every house I have ever owned, the breaker panel (and the master electric cutoff switch) was within a few feet of the outside electric meter and directly where the main wiring enters the house. In both the current house and the former one, this was on the opposite side of the basement from the stairs. Houses are not designed to deal with the idea of your basement becoming an impromptu indoor swimming pool.
OK, this makes sense. But basements fill with water all the time, so the electrical service accomodating an easy shutoff still seems reasonable to me.
Makes me grateful that my electric comes in at my garage.
Not sure what’s so jacked about my diet lately, but even I couldn’t stand my own fart clouds yesterday. Jesus almighty, I’m grateful for social distancing or I’d have embarrassed myself.
So, uh, if your grocery cashier occasionally giggles randomly at seemingly nothing, and finds excuses to step away from the register to fiddle with the candy display at any opportunity … she might just be tooting a couple off & then standing in her own fart cloud. Cuz I sure was!
I turn 40 in less than a month, am ostensibly some sort of lady or shit, and I still giggle at farts. What does that say about me?
Ditto, except I’m about to turn 50. I’m not going to grow out of this. 
I’m 50 and still laugh my head off at the campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles”. I think maturity is overrated at times.
I know what you’re going through, phs. I’ve had the barking spiders myself the last couple days, and the smell can drive Pepé Le Pew away.
So, in light of the current situation, the local supermarket has changed two aisles into a roped-off one way system, leading to the tills (policed by a bloke who stands two feet away from whoever’s at the front of the queue and chats to them while waiting for a till to open up). I’ve got everything I need but washing powder, which is halfway down the one-way system. Go up to get it, guy managing the till queue (which is one person long at this point) yells at me ‘Scuse me, Have you finished shopping?’
‘No, I just need to get washing powder’
‘Can’t go in there’
‘Why?’
‘Need to have finished shopping to go in there’
‘But all I need is washing powder, and it’s right there’
‘No, you have to come back out’
‘So… how do I get washing powder?’
‘You can get it when you’ve finished shopping’.
So, today I learned that getting stuff from the last two aisles of a supermarket is, apparently, not shopping. Sadly I still did get charged for it…
Thank you. It actually helped.
In other news, a friend of mine seems to have finally hit rock bottom. He and his wife are church friends of mine. We are pretty close. His wife has recently separated from him due to his being an emotionally abusive addict. Since then, he’s continued to spiral out of control but, last night, started posting really dark stuff on Facebook, all while saying he’s too much of a wuss to kill himself. I honestly don’t know what to do. He posted again this morning so I suppose he’s still with us. I just wish he’d get help. And before you ask, we have offered to help him get help in the past, stopping short of kidnapping him and dropping him off at rehab. It didn’t stick.
Posted as an after thought:
I probably should have ended with :
Nows…! The…! Time…! To…!
See What America’s coming to…!
Nows…! The…! Time…! For…!
Finding out what Voting’s For…!
…
(Say, that’s musical comedy. That boy-sized suit and comedy thief John Mulaney won’t see this, will he…? )
Having Mrs. Chef, Chef Jr. and Lil’ Miss Sous-Chef (not so little anymore - she’s finishing her junior year of high school for crying out loud) quarantined with me and underfoot all the time is making me uncomfortably realize how selfish I am. I have been working at home for a long time now, but I hate NEVER having any time by myself. If I want to cook myself something, I have to factor in what other people want, and sometimes I don’t FEEL like either getting outvoted and making something other than what I wanted or having to make enough to share. Sometimes it makes me absolutely grit my teeth when Mrs. Chef hollers yet again for some bit of help with something she could absolutely do herself if she just would. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be sheltering in place, but why do we have to be sheltering in the SAME place? I can’t miss you people if you never go away!
I don’t have anyone to shelter with, so I get more alone time than I’d like. I expect if I couldn’t get away from anyone, I’d be pretty frantic by now.
Meantime, I’m dealing with idiot cousins who have bought into the whole COVID ain’t so bad, and why should the lives of people like us who are healthy have to change? I ain’t wearing no mask nor staying home, damnit!
It’s disheartening.
My Mother’s Day gift (which I asked for) was a few hours alone in my house. It was amazing. I also work at home most of the time, but working at home with the whole family here is for the birds.
I’d be happy to be a good citizen and wear a mask if I fucking had some. The pack of 50 that I ordered (which is coming from China) has finally made some progress on the tracking site, going from “not found” to a shipping label being created in Shenzhen. Due here June 1.
And the two large bottles of hand sanitizer that I was able to snag before they went out of stock are coming domestically via UPS (not my choice). According to the comments on Yelp, UPS has to be the world’s worst courier company – exorbitant customs brokerage charges (not applicable in this case), late deliveries, lost parcels, rude and incompetent staff, etc. According to their tracking info the package arrived in a huge regional warehouse last Thursday – about a half-hour’s drive from here – and has been sitting there ever since. ETA was Monday, but since it never got to the “out for delivery” stage, I was doubtful, and indeed nothing showed up. The only thing that has now changed is the ETA is now technically today, Tuesday, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it doesn’t show up today either. It’s scary to think that hospitals might be depending on these useless fuckers for critical medical supplies. Maybe they’ve learned by now to always use FedEx or Purolator.
It occurs to me UPS must have a different reason than most to be unhappy about Covid: now their continual lies about ‘attempted delivery no one home’ are even less likely to be believed.
I live in Johnstown, PA. On Tuesday, May 5th, I mailed a package to a friend in Niles, Ohio. A distance of 140.4 miles by car. The package was set to arrive on Thursday.
Wednesday it arrived in Omaha, NE. It spent two days there, then made its way to Pittsburgh, passing Ohio twice on its journey. As luck would have it, my friend received her birthday gift (did I mention it was a gift and her birthday was last Wednesday?) on Monday, May 11. Hooray for the U.S. Postal Service!
The box I mailed to my friends in Vegas is currently sitting in Los Angeles, because of course it is.