Perhaps there is a “may contain chicken” warning label.
Ok how do those scam artists get my phone number? If I don’t recognize the number I don’t answer. Goes to voice mail…they leave a threatening message how I’m going to jail or my car insurance has lapsed, there is a warrant out for me etc etc. 
Robocallers do not need to “have” your number, they just call them all.
I just an email from Capitol One informing me that my 2018 tax forms are now available.
Excuse me? Weren’t tax forms due to be filed, like, six weeks ago?
Dear Account Team,
Thanks for interrupting my call with my tech leads. You know that project a couple of us were working on that’s “mission critical” to your client? The one about which you needed help writing an email to your client RIGHT NOW? The one you interrupted work on twice just today, you assholes?
Can I add to the communication, “I can’t be trusted to write emails on my own, so I had to have two product managers help me instead of work on the project?” How’s that for an update?
Please kindly fuck off. If you delay my project I’m going to mail you a giant turd.
Hugs and kisses,
Overly
It’s not void.
It just isn’t civil.
I just want to feel okay for like… a day. Physically, mentally… I just want things to not be completely unbearable just for a little while, so maybe I can remember what it even feels like.
So this morning I go to throw something away in the kitchen trash. It’s one of those trash cans that pulls out from a cabinet. Guess what was on top of the trash…
A live possum!!!
I think I hit my head on the ceiling when I jumped…
It just kind of looked at me and slowly wandered back into the cabinet. Got the haveaheart trap and stuck that under the sink and then went to work. I hope it is in the trap when I get home, cuz if it isn’t, then where is it?
The light over our garage door stopped working, and as it was butt-ugly and required partial disassembly in order to replace a bulb (always fun in winter), I was quite content to install a better replacement. Removal of the old light revealed that there was actually an outlet box (not always a given in this house) but it was set back against the inside wall rather than flush with the outside wall, and the installer had hacked a tiny hole in the siding for the wires, and unable to access the box, had screwed the light directly to the siding.
I managed to install the new light correctly, after cutting a proper-sized hole and adding a box extension, but the the crappy construction and not to Code stuff like this is very disappointing in a house built by a prominent and reputable builder. Some of it is DIY unhandyman mods, but stuff like this is clearly from the original construction. We’ve already had our sewer line completely replaced (including driveway repaving) at city expense when it was discovered that all the houses in the development had incorrectly installed lines which had nevertheless been signed off by the building inspector.
Any idea how it got in? A field mouse I can understand, but something possum sized?
I’ve got a stacked stone crawlspace, so I’m sure it got in there, but I don’t know how it got from the crawlspace to the kitchen. It wasn’t a full size one either, so great, that means I’ve probably got a family under the house.
And I’m going to need to track down whatever hole it found in the cupboards.
I hope it’s in the trap too, then you can post a picture of the precious-wecious wee thing! 
Yesterday, a day of Glory, I got a new roof put on my house. Saturday - new fence!
What’s with the road rage? This morning I slowed down at a green light, I was going through. A woman in the left turn lane in the opposite direction, started flipping me off… I thought she might turn in front of me. I was being cautious. Relax people.
Well, I did flip off a guy today because I was making a left turn on a green turn arrow and some asshole coming from the opposite direction turned right directly in front of me then proceeded to drive 30mph in the 45 zone.
Didn’t yield (per the sign in front of him), pulled out right in front of me causing me to brake when I was already slow due to turning left, drove 15mph below the speed limit.
So yeah, fuck that guy.
Well true, but some of them have your name as well, which means they have gotten the number from some other means.
Bumpdate here: I actually sent an email to the Metro people a few days back, complaining about the traffic flow.
Yesterday was the first chance I’d had to try out the new shuttle and honestly, I was shocked at how well it worked. They did indeed have people at the station pointing me to the right bus. It left promptly. It was less than 20 minutes from that station to the Pentagon. Now, I did have to stand on the train from the Pentagon to my workplace - which was a big deal only because a crowded, hot train is a fairly reliable way to make me nauseous and lightheaded - but it normally takes longer than 20 minutes to go from our Metro to the Pentagon stop on the train. So… I actually got there faster than normal. The return trip was similar. I got the the bus stop at the Pentagon just as a bus was filling up; there were perhaps 5 people ahead of me in line when it left - and another one arrived with 2 minutes.
And when I was waiting to be picked up at the Metro… there were people in yellow vests there chasing cars away from stopping and blocking traffic, and steering them toward the covered garage area labeled “kiss and ride”. 
I persuaded my husband to give it a try today and he’s pleased also. He took the local commuter train yesterday - and wound up taking a Lyft home because the outbound trains were all delayed by 3+ hours due to a tree on the tracks.
So, for both of us: our commutes are no longer than they had been. and they cost less. What’s not to love??? Well, on Tuesday (first day after this happened) there were plenty of people with complaints; there were reports of 3-block-long lines of people at some interim pickup spots, and drivers brought in from out of town who got lost and wound up at the wrong station!
I don’t delude myself that yesterday’s smooth experience will always be true, but it was a nice surprise.