Isn’t it awesome that whichever road a new parent (especially mom) takes it is always the wrong one in someone else’s eyes?
I posted here when my old dog bit my daughter and knew I would get both sides. (My daughter opened the cage and crawled in, the dog doesn’t have a vicious bone in her body, but was quite scared) I still get crap from folks because the Old Dog is still alive. Or, to quote my babysitter “Is that damn dog still alive?”
Why yes, yes she is. Even though I wanted to put her down two years ago, because my vet told me she would not put her down if she came in wagging her tail. The fact she is incontinent, near blind, almost deaf, arthritic, and covered with huge lumps means nothing.
So is Babybeast. So is the cat, who I might add, did a fantastic job of teaching my daughter how to treat cats. My 15 month old daughter is great with our cat and boy does she love the cat, it took time though to get her to realize that grabbing the kitty wasn’t nice and kitty didn’t like it. Now she pets her as sweet as can be.
I understand whichever way your daughter goes. I can’t fathom going through what she went through.
Can I say I just love the way you write? I’ll have to look up some of your posts. Your reputation precedes you.
I missed the other thread, but if the mom feels she should get rid of the cat, that’s fine with me. Sorry, but I’m just not very sentimental about animals (even though we had cats). I really cannot see why there should be all this fuss about it, except that many of us enjoy the great American sport of blaming mothers for everything and feeling superior by castigating people we don’t even know.
It’s always easy to judge other people’s choices. Speaking only for myself, I ocnsider the commitment I’ve made to my pets to be such that I would never pre-emptively get rid of them due to some problem they might cause. This is not to say I value my pets as highly as any human; if I had a baby, and a problem arose, out would go the pet, period. But the lifelong responsibility I feel I have to creatures I have adopted dictates TO ME that I try to work out my new household before anyone gets kicked out. I don’t think anyone should have to defend their decision to the contrary, but I do confess it seems like a bit of a shame that a presumably loved pet is not even given a chance before losing the home and relationship it knows and depends on.
I kind of think that the normal, intelligent, sane mentality of believing that animals are just things and not superior or equal to human beings, especially one’s own infant child is a good trait for parents. Anyone who wouldn’t get rid of an indoor cat or dog before bringing a newborn home (and give the house a thorough cleaning) is already being a poor parent. Besides being filthy, there is a real danger of a pet causing injury, if not serious injury or death, to the new center of attention. The same goes with any pet that shows aggression toward a child.
Life happens. Sometimes, you get a pet with every intention of taking care of it for the duration of it’s life. But then you have a baby. Or meet the love of your life, who has allergies. Or you develop an allergy, or a health problem, or you have to move, or any one of a million other things.
It’s an ANIMAL. To privilege it over the actual people in your life is profoundly ridiculous. I really cannot emphasize enough how very equally happy your cat would be with *anyone * who feeds it.
I didn’t think a offhand remark on the history of Logan would start this! In addition to what’s already in the other thread, I also want to mention that on his information sheet from the shelter, it lists his age as 12 years and 2 months. His sister that was in the same cage as him was 12 years and 4 months. The exact detail of his age leads me to believe that his previous owners had him as a kitten. I really can’t imagine owning a cat for 12 years and then giving him up. I’ve had my female for about a year and a half now, and I KNOW my cats. I know what they like, don’t like, what human foods they beg for, what each distinctive meow means, and I can tell when they are upset by the way they act. I’ve had Logan for less than a week, and I’m already getting familiar with his personality. I can’t imagine having a cat for 12 years, knowing them like I do, and then deciding that they need to go somewhere else.
Incidently, I should mention that when my oldest brother was born, my dad had three dogs. My mother loathes animals; she thinks they’re dirty and dangerous. She tolerated the dogs when my parents got married, thinking the dogs were getting up there in age and she wouldn’t have to put up with them any longer. Well, my mother got pregnant four months into their marriage and she decided the dogs had to go. Nevermind what my dad thought, oldest brother was going to be the most important things in their lives. Nevermind that my grandparents would have been delighted to take care of the dogs for a while, as well as the newborn, while the new family got settled, my mother just would not have any animals in the house! The dog could bite! The dog could bring in bacteria! The dog is dangerous! So, my mother decided to take them down to the vet and euthanize them. One actually ran away before she took them down, but the other two didn’t get to escape their fate. When my dad talked about the incident many years later, I always got upset. My mother’s reasoning was that she had a newborn to think about, and animals shelters back then weren’t as good as they are now, so to spare the dogs from sitting in a cage, lonely for a week, and then having to be put down anyway, she took them to the vet to spare them that lonely week. She may have been right, my father certainly didn’t protest enough to keep his dogs. In their minds, it was absolutely important that my oldest brother be safe, and that included getting rid of the dogs, which is a shame because growing up, I always wished I had animals to keep me company or sleep at the foot of my bed, or curl up next to me while I was watching tv.
Very well said!! I agree 100%. It is very unethical to get a pet when you know that you would get rid of them when you have kids.
I have never ever heard of cats being a danger to an infant. Can anyone point to a bona fide example of this? This strikes as being extremely paranoid to me.
My aunt and uncle have newborn twins and their three dogs and two cats pose no problem whatsoever. In fact, one of the dogs is very protective of the babies, keeping watch outside their room when they are sleeping, etc.
Many people I know grew up with cats or have cats and babies. There have been no reports of any problems whatsoever. People who think otherwise are being paranoid and ridiculous.
I understand situations arise. I’ve seen a few happen where I completely understand parents rehoming an animal due to the situation. But if you know for a fact that eventually, you’ll get rid of that animal when you have children, there’s no reason to get the pet in the first place.
My cats do not take precedence over my child. Nor do they take place over my husband. But they do hold a very dear place in our lives, and since I took on their care when they were six weeks old, I feel that I owe it to them to give them a happy life. That doesn’t mean that I get rid of them the second they prove inconvenient. Life is full of inconveniences. Sometimes it’s inconvenient for me to go to work, but I do it because I’ve made a committment.
The alternative is what, allowing “mothers” to do whatever the fuck they want if only it’s for the children?
Yes, I will blame anyone for abandoning an animal. I don’t care if it’s a mother, a sister, a nun, or Pontius Pilate (okay, fine, he’s dead. He gets a pass).
Having a baby doesn’t exempt anyone from decency, and in my book a decent person doesn’t abandon an animal.
Um, yeah. Similarly, if you support Democrats, you’ll be criticized by Republicans and if you support Republicans you’ll be criticized by Democrats. You just can’t win, I guess.
See, to me, this is indefensible hyperbole. I have two cocker spaniels. If I were to have a baby, why should I get rid of them before bringing my newborn home? Contrary to your (bizarre) blanket statement, they are not filthy. I keep a clean house and I keep clean pets. And they are pets, not surrogate children; I eat first, I go out the door first, I live on the furniture and they live on the floor. Assuming I am not leaving my hypothetical newborn on the floor with the dogs unsupervised, where is the real danger of injury or death? Which cocker is going to rapelle from the ceiling, Mission Impossible style, into little Figment’s crib to smother him?
I would not give my pets up if I had to move. I’ve moved . . . doing math . . . eight times in the last 11 years and my dog or dogs have come along every time, because I will only move to a place that allows me to keep them. Is the health and safety of me and my family a different story? Yes, obviously. But I would not just jettison the pets BEFORE a problem arises, because that is not consistent with MY understanding of what I owe them, having agreed to take responsibility for them.
This doesn’t make me a bad person, or a bad potential parent, or my dogs filthy snarling baby-killers. As in many cases, there are two sides to the argument, and demonizing the side you disagree with doesn’t actually make your side any stronger.
It’s good to know that people who keep their pets are poor parents. Talk about being nuts, I think we’ve figured out who the crazy one around here is.
I’d bet that an infant faces a greater risk of death and injury from his/her own human family members than from the family pet, just to inject a little bit of perspective into this discussion.
This is aimed at me. The reason I asked about this was because Liberal said I was “wrong on both counts” when I posted the woman gave up her cat without even giving it a chance with the baby and she didn’t quit smoking for her child. I just quoted what he had posted and he says I “was wrong” WTF?
Way to come into Sad and Deranged’s thread on adopting a senior cat and shit all over it with your tale about your daughter dumping her pet.
I never, ever said animals were more important than children. Another WTF? Way to jump to conclusions there and thanks for putting words in my mouth.
Like I said - I hope she never takes the child out in the car, as many more babies are killed or hurt in car crashes than are killed or hurt by the family cat.
Don’t expect some of us to pat her (or you, for telling us) on the back for dumping her cat.
I’m afraid you’ve misquoted yourself. What you said, and what I responded to was:
“They won’t quit smoking for the new baby but they give a cat to a shelter without even giving it a chance?”
(1) They did quit smoking for the new baby during her pregnancy, which is what I thought you meant, since I already had said they were not smoking in the presence of the baby and (2) she gave the cat every chance toward finding a new home, which was what I thought you meant by “giving it a chance”. If by “giving it a chance” you meant “waiting to see if the baby got clawed or bitten”, you should have said so.
As to the floating madness about not having a baby because she had a cat, she had the cat before she was even married. I shudder to think what a dingbat she would have to be to plan every event in her life by first asking the question, “Is this in the best interest of my cat?” She does indeed do that now with the baby, but that’s because it’s, you know, her baby. Her flesh and blood and all that. This was the first year she didn’t visit any of the family for Christmas, opting instead to develop lifelong memories for Junior of Christmas at home. I think she’s doing a fabulous job as a mother, and as a decision maker.
Please allow me to reiterate — for what, the fourth time? — that I admire what you did for the old cat. That’s why I bothered to post in yoru thread what we’ve done for similar old cats. The “offhand remark” struck home because it wasn’t about your cat; it was about the family you said abandoned it two days before Christmas. For one thing, the cat knows squat-all about Christmas, and for another, working for weeks trying to find a home for a cat is not abandoning or dumping it. Unless you are an extremely rare breed, there were an awful lot of people out there who couldn’t be bothered to take the cat off her hands despite how much they bray about what they would do and how much they love animals. All I asked for in your thread was some understanding on behalf of people who have to make these kinds of decisions.
My husband and my cat were both diagnosed with cancer in the same month. I had the cat euthanized the next day. I loved that cat, but people do come first.