I started to make a post and then on preview I see Beaucarnea and Fear Itself beat me to it, so I’ll just say that at least this thread has a good title.
How many of you programmed your lives 10, 15 years ago to wind up at exactly the place you’re currently occupying? You accurately predicted the career, job, house, spouse that you’ve got (or lack thereof)?
I agree with responsible pet ownership, duh, I posted my pedigree as a cat owner before offering my opinions here.
It’s just that sometimes, life changes. You do the best you can.
That’s exactly right, fessie. I have always believed that when you adopt a pet, you should try to anticipate the future, and whether or not you will be able to commit yourself to that pet. I was pretty annoyed with a certain sibling of mine who acquired a large dog, and then had to give it away because it needed more care than he could give it.
On the other hand, it is impossible to anticipate every possible thing that might happen in one’s life perhaps 10 years down the road, and sometimes tough choices have to be made.
For what it’s worth, I’m a cat owner, and it never crossed my mind to get rid of the cat when I had my daughter. Of course, my cat is so sweet & gentle, we have been more worried about the baby hurting her than the other way around. But I have had cats my whole life, and I know that not all cats are like this.
That doesn’t preclude you from making responsible decisions.
Like only buying a pet if you intend to keep it for the rest of its life.
If you think children and pets are 100% incompatible, and there’s any chance whatsoever you will have a child, don’t get a pet.
If you don’t feel that way, but for some reason when you become a parent, it becomes impossible to keep the pet - well, shit happens.
If you do feel that way, and later change your mind on having a child but not the incompatibility of pets and children…well, that’s a right pickle, that is. You’ll have to make a choice whether to keep the pet or go ahead and have a child.
Of course, that doesn’t change that it’s you who was twisting Guin’s words into advocating abortion, instead of just not getting a pet.
Some things are foreseeable; some things are not. Moving is foreseeable. Having children is foreseeable. My position, which it seems others share, is that if your commitment to a pet doesn’t not include sticking with the pet through such almost-certain changes in life, then probably you shouldn’t get a pet.
To have a cat that repeatedly attempts to scratch your new baby is not foreseeable. To fall in love with a person who is very allergic to your pet is not foreseeable. No one is saying (well, no one reasonable is saying) that when tough choices have to be made, it is not appropriate to choose your human family over your pets. It just strikes some of us as premature to anticipate a problem before one occurs, to the extent of taking the irrevocable and drastic step of giving your pet away – especially when the life change is of the “probably foreseeable” variety.
It’s not a matter of “bad mothering” or “good mothering” – it’s just that some people take their commitments to their pets more seriously than others do. I feel confident in saying that if a person would give their pet away out of fear that a problem, not currently occuring, might sometime in future occur, then I am a better pet owner than that person. IOW, I don’t think anyone is saying Lib’s daughter is a bad mother; at worst, they are saying that she is a bad pet owner. And though Lib might understandably be made defensive by such an opinion – it appears to be a defensible opinion nonetheless.
I agree with responsible pet ownership, duh, I posted my pedigree as a cat owner before offering my opinions here.
It’s just that sometimes, life changes. You do the best you can.
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Ooh, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one, and here’s why.
Liberal (and go ahead and extend this to “everyone”) certainly doesn’t need to explain everything in one go. Hell, he really didn’t need to explain anything at all. But to allow one thread to be shit in and another thread- that he himself started- to go two pages before introducing very pertinant information is… not okay. Irresponsible. The OP is six paragraphs long. Liberal is well known for his history of making posts that the acronym “TL;DR” was designed for. Hell, since his triumphant return on 12/20 he has posted a staggerin 252 times. What’s the big deal in adding an extra sentence or two for clarity’s sake?
The very first post reply says “Out of curiosity, what makes you think a cat would harm the baby?” Nice soft pitch, there. A chance to say “well, there was this history of behavioral issues…” but it was ignored. Instead we get heartwarming stories about how his daughter puts the baby first, and smokes outside, and how much he admires folks who picks up castoffs from people like his daughter.
It takes until post #88, Liberal’s EIGHTH post in the thread, for him to bring up the behavioral issues. Eighty-seven posts go by without mention of it, and when it does get brought up it takes only a line.
Here’s Liberal’s post from the MPSIMS thread:
I’ve snipped the big paragraph on what a fabulous cat owner he is. Now, in the interest of not having to write a “saga,” he could have omitted that big opening back-patting paragraph, and written the rest of it as follows:
Sixty-one extra words, and this whole thing would have been avoided. Because frankly, I have yet to see anyone in this thread who would argue that attempting to re-home a “territorial, temperamental, and a bit hyper” cat in preparation for the birth of a child is The Most Horrible Idea Ever, especially when given the additional information that she tried to re-home it for eight months. The whole objection has been the perception that Liberal’s daughter booted the cat out for no reason at all the instant she got knocked up, and I think that Liberal is just as guilty in the continuation of that perception as those who seized on it.
Man, this thread needs that special Crafter_Man touch. The Flying Dutchman made a special effort, but not good enough, I think.
For the record, Liberal, I see exactly where you and your daughter are coming from, and support you(pl) fully. Even though I’ve kept the Staffies with our 2 year-old, I don’t see anything wrong with what your daughter did.
Pardon me, but she had NINE FECKING MONTHS to find a new home for the cat. She shouldn’t have gotten pregnant until she did her DUTY to the cat. What in creation is so special about babies? Millions are born every day. Again, she did NOt make every effort to re-home the cat. The evidence confims that.
You certainly take the cake on ignorance. I thought that EVERYone already knew about trimming pets claws. WHAT disease issues involve infants? The PARENTS should be supervising the children to ensure that they don’t eat the feces…though chances are they are more interested in both working full time and foisting off the child rearing onto a nanny. The ONLY health issues involved are possible toxoplasmosis to pregant women from HANDLING cat feces.
If I was single again, I would damn well find out if a potential lover was allergic PRIOR to getting emotionally involved. If they WERE allergic, I’d give them the option of getting allergy shots. Giving up my cats would NOT be an option. When I adopted my cats, it was a LIFETIME committment. What do you baby-crazed idiots have against honoring committments? If I developed allergies, I would take the shots. If the shots didn’t work, I would just sniffle a lot. HAD to move??!! When are you bloody ignorant saps going to start taking responsibility for your own lives? If I had to move, I would FIND a place allowing cats. Period. What a total waste of skin you are.
I hope that not all Dutch people are so bloody stupid and ignorant as you. Did it EVER cross your pea-sized brain to take the cat to the vet and have it checked out? There was probably a medical REASON for its urinating on you. Frankly I say, GO CAT…if I could shit on you, I would.
