McDonald's Ice Cream Conspiracy!!

OK, got a question for everyone: Has any one actually managed to buy ice cream from a McDonalds in the last 6 months? Every time I go to one and order ice cream, the girl/boy at the window invariably tells me that the ice cream machine is down. This spans across a couple of different states!! My theory is that they took all the ice cream machines out to make room for the fancy coffee machine and just aren’t telling anybody.

Huh…for several years now I’ve had a similar theory regarding Burger King’s shake machine. I’ll put it at around a 10% chance that the machine isn’t “broken” at any given time.

I’ve long since taken “broken” as code for “I’m a lazy fuck who doesn’t want to have to clean the machine”.

My co-worker just bought some ice cream from McDonald’s yesterday. So I don’t think it’s a conspiracy. Though I do wonder about the mindset of a person who would buy ice cream from McDonald’s when a great frozen custard store is right next door.

I’m pretty sure it’s usually working at my local place–I’ve seen others buying it. I myself don’t really care all that much for ice cream unless it’s in chipwich form or I’m REALLY in the mood. (Yes, I’m aware this ranks up there with not loving bacon.)

I’ve had a sundae within the last month, but just one and it was weeks ago. I’m on board with Hal Briston’s theory.

Even across several states, I don’t think your sample size is big enough to draw any conclusions about any kind of purported nationwide policy.

That said, from my own experiences, there are certain types of machines that franchised fast food places will go without for quite a long time. Independent owners may not necessarily feel they have to hurry to get a marginally-profitable machine up and running. Accordingly, ISTM that shake machines, ice cream machines, and ICEE machines (local BK sells Icees) go down and stay down. This wouldn’t happen with the fryer – that would get fixed same day, I’d bet.

Some fast food places, though, hang their hat on frozen dairy treats – again, IME, Wendy’s gets the Frosty machines up quick, Sonic and Dairy Queen take prompt care of their frozen dairy machines, etc.

And then there’s this. Probably happens more often than I’d care to know.

The real conspiracy here is that they pass that shit off as ice cream.

I can get McDs ice cream failry easy but only up to certain time of day.
I think they have to clean the machine daily and like to get it done early in the night rather than waiting till closing time.
Instead of saying “We’re lazy and don’t want to have to clean it after we close so we’re cleaning it now” they say “it’s broken”.

I suspected that the lack of ice cream might be due to laziness…makes me all stabby!

I agree! They are always broken around here, too. It’s not that they serve great ice cream or anything but a soft serve is still only a dollar (I believe) and it’s a nice big cone and a nice treat for a hot summer day.

Re: The “Lazy Fuck” theory I can tell you from personal experience (Yeah, I worked at McDonalds as a teen. What can you do?) that the process of cleaning those machines is a heroic undertaking. There are a stupid amount of moving parts and everything needs to be sanitized (which is a Good Thing™) and then put back together. It really isn’t something that you want to do after you close. That would suck. Now I could really get behind the company having some balls and cutting off the sale of ice cream at a specific time to plan for down time but then they wouldn’t be being the soulless weaseling corporation that we have come to know.

The bigger scandal is that they never have chocolate ice cream.

I’m sorry I have a tough time believing that the nation prefers vanilla by any vast majority.

However, I’ve noticed that soft serve places like Carvel often have difficulties with their chocolate machines. I conclude that McDonalds doesn’t want to bother with a problematic machine.

I’m with BwanaBob—lack of chocolate ice cream is the real travesty here. If I’m going to eat ice cream, I’m not going to waste the calories on vanilla. I mean, I suppose I’ll manage to eat vanilla as a sundae with caramel, but sometimes I want a cone. That’s why I just stick to DQ these days. I can get a twist cone, and their soft serve kicks McDonalds’ ass anyway.

Last week. Yum.


Huh. I hate chocolate ice cream but I have never felt to be anything but in the minority on this. I know vanilla seems ubiquitous but everyone I know loves chocolate better.

When I was a kid, I had a similar theory regarding ICEEs since they I don’ think the ICEE machine was ever working in any store I went to. They used to sell them at Time-Saver, I think.

And to me, chocolate is just as boring as vanilla, give me something a little different.

Nah. Soft Serve Ice Cream has become the base ingredient for an infinite number of concoctions. Blizzards, Sundaes, Floats and a whole variety of proprietary candy and ice cream combinations are what sell. While chocolate might be preferred over vanilla when eaten plain, vanilla wins in a landslide as a base for mixing other flavors. I wager that barely 1 in 10 orders at a fast food joint are plain ice cream cones which is where chocolate rules.

Personally, I miss the vanilla-chocolate swirl. With the cherry shell please.

Well, that explains the taste.

You need to find a store that hangs it’s hat on ice cream and buy there. McDonald’s ice cream is lousy ice milk with fillers. Fast food ice cream in and of itself isn’t that great, but McDonald’s is arguably the worst.

Dairy Queen is good. If you happen to have an A&W or an Artic Circle in your area you are lucky indeed and should take advantage of that luck to prove to the Universe that you are grateful.

Which reminds me, the Universe dictates that I buy a huckleberry shake today. mmmmmmm. I wait all year for those.