Burger King had a sign that said “Try our new cheesy bacon angus!” My friends changed the sign to “Try our new cheesy bacon anus!” We still laugh about that one.
Also, one time there was some homestyle cookery that had a sign that said “Best breasts in Atlanta.” I think they forgot the chicken part. Or, I hope so.
As opposed to the sophisticated advertising slogans that were pitched to our grandparents, like …
“Drink Coca-Cola”
“Drink Pepsi Cola”
“7up - You’ll Like It”
“Insist on genuine [insert product name here]”
When I was a kid, a local fishmonger often advertised FRESH CRAB, painted in large whitewash letters on the outside of his shop window. Whitewash rubs off easily. You can make a B into a P quite easily.
Funny thing is, he never seemed to notice. Next day, he’d wash it all off for that day’s specials deals. Which often included FRESH CRAB again. For an hour, maybe. 
Are you saying Borat made those signs?
“Burger King has burgers that are small like anus of young boy!”
“Buy fries and I give quick handjob for extra dollar!”
“You drive in and get food or I piss in your fries.”
Sounds like an incredible deal.
Not really much of a threat. Buy food or he’ll piss in the food you don’t buy. Go ahead.
There’s a Taco Time down the street from my office which routinely advertises such gems as “Special Crisp Meat” on their sign.
I don’t even want to know what Crisp Meat is.
Excatly, but it’s a mangled threat, which is what Borat would say.
I agree with the handjob. That’s just stretching out the value of your hard-earned dollar.
Also, something I thought of when I was listening to a Budweiser commercial (the song that ends with “This is Buuuudweiser…this is beeeeeer.”) That’s advertising? This is my product. It’s my product.
Here’s a sponge. It cleans things.
This is fish. It’s food.
What if we advertised the opposite way, seeing as how people have to be told explicitly what not to do with the product? apply directly to the fivehead!
This is a light bulb. Low in calories.
Monkey wrenches on sale! Don’t use as a pillow.
Plungers…the other white meat!
You forgot, “Buy burger or I will crush you.”
And the minimalist “EATS.”
I used to be impressed by the upper-class fine-European-dining subtextual ambience of the delicatessen, until I learned that “delicatessen” is German for “good eats”.
You buy burger or I will crush the skulls of your children with large brick.
Just yesterday I pass, yet another, cupcake place in NYC. They had a dry erase sign board outside that read.
Well, that tops the “Wham-Bamm Breakfast” sign I saw in Wildwood one year. And it explains where they hide the winning game pieces for ‘Monopoly’.
The really sad thing is that McDonalds’ official slogan has been “I’m Lovin’ It” for some time now.
Seriously, this is the largest restaurant chain in the world! Can you imagine the enormous wad of cash they must have forked over to the ad agency? You could crank out a better slogan on a Ouija board.
And some poor minimum-wage slob gave away “TRY A SALAD IT IS COOL!!” for FREE! Hell, I’m hungry for salad right now, just thinking about it.
Presumably, the “specially seasoned” fries would be free. Only fair, really.
I’ve never heard Cheetah’s described as a homestyle cookery before.