Me And Western Hats

Some guys just don’t look good in 'em, and I’m one, I guess.

We have a truck dealer here in Georgia who is very narrow of face and it looks like the only things that keep his Stetson from swallowing his head are his two ears.

Back in the 80’s me and a couple of fellow DJ’s started wearing them. (I forget the blocking name, but think David Alan Coe.) We all thought we were heated feces, but I felt really uncomfortable in mine. It just never looked right on me. I have kind of an oval face, and the fact that the sides of the hat were just straight made me look kinda goofy, so I stopped wearing it and eventually it just kinda disappeared.

So how come some guys just manage to look like they were born to wear the damn things? Is it a matter of making a certain blocking one’s own and damn what anyone thinks, or are there actually hat merchants who will tell you, “Sir, sorry, but western just doesn’t become you. I could noit sleep at night if I sold you that hat!”?



I have a 4X Stetson. It’s pale tan (or off-white) with a flat “telescoping” crown. (i.e., there’s a “hump” in the middle that is level with the outside of the crown, with a “moat” around it.) I made a pair of “stampede strings” for it, and a plain tan leather band about 1/2" wide.

I’ve worn it when shooting cap-and-ball revolvers (which has been years ago), but otherwise I don’t wear it.

I always wanted to wear the one that John Wayne wears on the cover of his album “America Why I Love Her”, but I think someone seeing me on the street with it might say, “Hey look at that dumb shit! He thinks he’s John Wayne!”

Then there’s that sweat stain I’d have to create… :eek


Straw cowboy hats look good. They still have credibility since they’re still worn as work attire, mostly by Mexican guys but also by some white guys, who know that you can buy a straw hat every Spring for less than 10% of what a felt one would cost, while the felt hat would fall apart well before the ten years are up.

So guys not actively involved in agriculture whose hats aren’t going to get beat up on the job can still co-opt this fashion and pull it off looking natural.

Wereas the copier repairman going out on Saturday night in his corporate C&W big black hat, dinner-plate belt buckle, harlequin shirt (but not the Australian cattleman’s coat: that’s no longer viable after Columbine), can’t help looking like he’s trick-or-treating.

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy,
you can see by my outfit that I am one too.
You can see by our outfits that we are both cowboys,
If you buy your own outfit, then you can play cowboy too