Days later…
The solution has already been mentioned by msmith537. I know that this may seem anticlimactic, but the simple answer is leadership by example. Leading in such a fashion is to practice the golden rule of;
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
The equation is rather simple. If you are capable of expecting others to treat you better than you treat them, then there is a distinct cognitive dissonance involved. The attempt to augment one’s position using unworthy methods is rather akin to a thief taking unfair possession of another’s material goods. It is merely dignity that is being purloined instead of worldly possessions.
It really is this simple. The Golden Rule appears in nearly every major religious manifesto and is pivotal in many non-theist philosophies as well. There is a good reason for it. This mentality promotes a disposition of generosity. A person of generous nature is more likely to lend a hand to another and be willing to do the first favor. For the generous person the benefits are manifold.
[Here I must digress momentarily. We must needs distinguish between three categories of people before we go further. As mentioned there are people who voluntarily act mean for no reason at all (the focus of this debate). There are those who eschew such methods and there are those who willingly put up with mistreatment. The last case probably involves people with low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness who are almost more comfortable when they are being mistreated. This does not justify such abuse in any way.]
For generous people, there are a wealth of opportunities that such a disposition inherently creates. Since such a person is willing to go out of their way for others they will more frequently encounter others of a similar cast. The reason is simple. Many kindhearted people have also been taught by cruel experience that others will often take advantage of a good-natured person.
The tendency to conceal one’s good nature is a result of such mistreatment. When an outgoing person makes an unprompted demonstration of good will, then other nice people tend to come out of the woodwork as well. There is a ready synergy between such allies and any effort suddenly finds willing helpers.
The exact opposite occurs to mean people. As they continue to demonstrate their ill manners, others will not only disguise their own generous traits, but even neutral people tend to rapidly disassociate themselves from such a scoundrel. The net result is foot dragging and half hearted attempts to fulfill the goals of the mean-spirited person.
Bosses who are all stick and no carrot, do not inspire loyalty or get an enthusiastic reception to their ideas. The rightfully sullen nature of workers in such a situation predisposes them to making mistakes or letting errors go unchecked solely due to dissatisfaction with their working conditions. A corollary to this is that mean bosses are usually unwilling to let employees know that they are valued for fear that the employee will then seek a raise. All of this underhanded behavior leads to a negative downward spiral of conflicting interests and hard-nosed politics. Employees often solve the problem themselves by relocating to another firm. The mean boss then loses all of the experience of that person and must replace them with another short term worker. The drought of seasoned and skilled staff can be a serious roadblock to departmental success.
Even in the most menial customer service jobs, this construct still applies. Disgruntled staff convey an unconcerned attitude to the patrons and return customers (the most valued of all) are fewer in number. The pool of capable candidates for promotion is smaller and often consists of less qualified people who are willing to put up with a mean boss. Usually, the only solution is to promote from without by filling management positions with people from outside companies. This only serves to infuriate any longtime employees who had hoped for advancement and the downward spiral continues.
Successful supervisors (like mine) demonstrate their leadership by setting a good example. They treat their workers with respect and are always ready with a kind word or praise for a successful outcome. The loyalty that this conduct inspires cannot be overestimated. Employees are often willing to move mountains for such a person. Overtime is worked with the intention of pushing through projects instead of merely padding a paycheck. Milestones are frequently met ahead of schedule and details are attended to with a sense of pride in workmanship.
All of this adds up to a synergy that is unobtainable by any other method. Financial rewards (usually a foreign concept to a mean boss) do not compensate for abuse, and the luster of being bought off quickly dims as workers realize that their compliance with abuse is being purchased. When rewards only serve to quench dissatisfaction with intolerable working conditions such compensation typically serves to neutralize ill will but does not create any of the aforementioned synergy.
This is the critical point in such management practices. There is no way to buy inspiration. You either have the willing respect of your workers, or you limp along with a hobbled team and sub-par performance. There is little middle ground in these situations. It is extremely difficult to counteract the poisonous influences of unsympathetic direction and oversight. The myth of a stern taskmaster getting the grudging respect of his underlings is long overdue for the scrap heap. Depressed workers may save time by not cheerfully chatting with each other, but the lost hours due to uninspired performance and inattention to detail rapidly negate any supposed benefits of such a management strategy.
All of these factors transpose equally well onto individual and interpersonal transactions. A mean person’s reputation will spread with unusual speed. However much that may serve to insulate such an individual from perceived threats by establishing that they are not to be meddled with, they are also just as quickly cut off from the aid and assistance of generous people who will not countenance such rude conduct.
Mean people effectively strand themselves within their community and void a portion of civility from the social contract. This discrepancy quickly manifests in the society a mean person enjoys. Being surrounded by fawning or servile people quickly loses any attraction it may have once had when the lack of challenging interaction becomes manifest.
And here we arrive at one of the most critical points of all; It requires an extreme degree of cognitive dissonance to find value in meanness and the poor company it obtains. People who are willing to seek out the weak-willed and spineless so as to have lackeys to dance at their command get their just desserts.
A critical aspect of this dysfunctionality is what I have named, “The Conspiracy of Silence”. Most mean people and other bullies will rarely examine themselves concerning such conduct. In a similar way, people who are willing to put up with mistreatment are frequently disinclined to introspection, otherwise they would be more likely to solve their self esteem problems and move on.
The conspiracy of silence also allows mean people of every stripe to continue their questionable conduct without having to answer for it. Other mean people will not call them on the error of their ways and the vicious scratch-itch cycle remains in place. The only purpose served is to keep the mask in place that honorable people rip from the visage of wrongdoers with their rightful protestations. Our society currently suffers from this malaise in epidemic proportions. Many types of dysfunctional behavior goes by the boards without being spotlighted by other people, such that their own misconduct will not be questioned. The lack of self-improvement and enormous impediment to enlightenment is profound and only serves to pollute civilized society with a muddy undercurrent of unstated intentions and hidden agendas.
I firmly believe that this conspiracy of silence is responsible for a substantial portion of non-pathological and non-criminal offenses committed by people, especially in the name of office politics. It is here where we return to the topic of sub-par intelligence being a component of meanness. People of intelligent mien seek to improve themselves and uplift their own spirit and that of others. An enlightened attitude is its own reward in this crucial battle for purification of mind and soul.
It is intrinsic in the character of a mean person that they must be less intelligent to either refrain from autoscopic thought, or be confronted with their own shortcomings yet continue to indulge in their underhanded ways. By its very definition, meanness requires a small-minded attitude that constricts the mentality of its practitioners and casts a shadow upon all who are surrounded by it. I challenge any proponent of meanness to refute this simple fact.
Meanness of character rapidly fulfills every other definition of the word mean as it tramples the unwitting or unaware. Mean, in the sense of “average” is quickly met and descended past as one devolves into unkind behavior. Mean, in the British sense of “miserly” is the next rung on this slippery ladder. More often than not, meanness manifests in ungenerous displays of rudeness and discourtesy. What could be more miserly than withholding simple decency from this world?
Again, I will state that there is a strong cognitive dissonance in anyone who thinks that they might lay claim to intelligence while committing such offense to the world around them. Such dissonance results in the thwarting of personal growth and will always serve to delimit the scope and range of intelligence. This is an uncontrovertible fact and I welcome all attempts to disprove it.
Mean people are basically stupid enough to convince themselves that there is nothing wrong with patently unfair and ill mannered conduct. I think that sums it up quite nicely.
As to the solution? Again, quite simply, it is leadership by example. You must be the change you wish to see in this world. If your behavior is generous in nature, then you may hope to inspire those of less developed character. Virtue is truly its own reward. All of this may sound quite smarmy, but there is little alternative in dealing with mean people, other than outright shunning of them, which does not really solve the problem (as they will usually continue in their ways unchecked).
Sometimes it is required to call a mean person upon their behavior, but again, it is critical to do so in a decent fashion such that you provide an acceptable standard of conduct as an alternative. Otherwise the situation can quickly result in what the business world informally refers to as a “pissing contest”.
So, once again, I will state that mean people also have a stupid streak in them that allows for such self-delusion.