Because women are just men sans balls? Interesting.
More interesting than taking a sample size of ten and extrapolating that since all men said “not rape”, being a male must be an important factor in determining if it’s about rape or not.
With a topping of implied “Oh, you could never understand why I’m right…” of course.
Tough fucking titty. Of course people are going to try and talk others into sex, that’s the way the game’s played.
Just because someone agrees to something and regrets it later isn’t the problem of the person who was doing the talking into it.
You can’t have ex post facto rape; if someone agrees, they agreed, regardless of what they feel later, and if the person doing the persuading doesn’t do anything without consent, then they’re in the clear.
When did society go from “No means no” to “Yes means yes, except when she may feel guilty about it tomorrow”?
Welp, I’m a woman and I think the song is fine. I agree that the women are also flirting with the men (“the way you grab me/Must want to get nasty”) I’m a fan of rap and this is just tame and silly.
I do think it’s a dirty song and get a little squicked when I hear it at the baseball stadium. Not because it’s rapey, just because it’s very adult.
But, it’s not up to me how other people react to a song. So I’m not going to hold it against people who find it offensive. There’s a lot worse stuff out there to be offended by, though. They just don’t play it as a bumper on the morning news or whatever.
Link? So I can… uhh… research… your hypothesis! Yeah… research.
It seems pretty clear to me that the “blurred lines” are whether or not the girl in question’s a good girl and not going to give it up, or if she’s not good, and planning on getting it on.
That’s why the author of the lyrics “hates” the blurred lines- how to proceed is unclear, due to what I presume is sexually charged flirting from a good girl. Basically she’s being a tease, but he’s not sure if that’s what’s going on or not.
I’m-a gonna tell you how it’s gonna be
You gonna give-a your love to me -
“Not Fade Away” - Buddy Holly (1957)
That’s the way I see this song. Thicke isn’t telling the woman she doesn’t have a choice. He’s basically just talking himself up and hoping it works.
Same thing with the video. If the men had told the women to parade around in their underwear it would be rape-like. But the women in the video don’t act like they’re being threatened or coerced - so it’s more reasonable to assume the way they’re dressed is just the counterpart to the way the men are singing. The women are dressing sexy to get the men’s attention while the men are talking sexy to get the women’s attention.
I really don’t think people had much issue with the song until the video came out. Now that Vimeo is showing unedited stuff, and the topless vids are becoming a thing, it’s freaking people out.
“You’re the hottest bitch in this place.”
Anyone who thinks this song isn’t ridiculously misogynistic, at the very least, is kidding themselves.
looks around
Oh, is that supposed to be my opinion? I almost didn’t recognize it under all that straw. No, I expect men to be as capable as women at identifying sexual assault. But I also understand that most men are not as practiced at noticing when something has overtones of coercion or assault because that’s not something that affects their worldview as often or as strongly as it does for women. Nor do I think that men can’t understand why the song is troubling or have an opinion on the song. But as men, it is not appropriate, when informed by an interested party about aspects of the song we have not considered, to dismiss their concerns as totally without merit. Which is what several male posters in this thread have done.
Which is a far cry from condoning rape.
I recognized it just fine under all the bullshit but, hey, whatever works for you.
There is a huge gap between giving consent and not objecting. Positive consent means that yes means yes, and no puts a stop to everything.
As far as ex post facto rape, that does occur. Mostly by fraud or intoxication. If your twin brother crawls in bed with your wife and has sex by letting her think he is her husband, that is rape.
Why? I have all the female equipment, and it would be GREAT to be considered the hottest bitch in the place by the alpha males in attendance. If that’s my agenda for the night, I’d dress for it, and flirt and dance and do everything I feel comfortable doing to try to secure that position.
In the same way that, if I wanted to be the smartest bitch in the place, I’d dress and act for that, or the ugliest or the stinkiest or whatever.
Why is a woman trying to be sexually desirable in a dirty way automatically being denigrated by the men? Isn’t that just another way for someone to tell a woman how they should feel, under the assumption that a woman can’t possibly make her own decisions? Women are just as smart and capable and strong as men, but they also like to fuck like dogs sometimes, you know? And it’s really none of your business.
Also - I find women who sexually tease men to far, far more damaging to women-kind’s safety and social respect than an ambiguous pop song. Sending mixed signals on the sexual front is a dangerous game, and I don’t always have sympathy for those who play with that fire. If someone is straight up raped, there is no excuse - but if they wear a super low cut blouse with daisy dukes, and then complain about men staring at their chests, well, they deserve it.
I thought the blurred lines were between staying faithful to a partner and cheating while out clubbing.
My evidence:
It’s kinda like, “Hey baby, I know you got a man but he ain’t here, and ol’ Robin just wants to fool around with a good girl who obviously has a nasty side and I get it that you don’t want to be unfaithful…but hey there’s a lot we can do that ain’t “cheatin,” ifyaknowwhatimeanandithinkthatyoudo. There’s a fuzzy line between faithfulness and full-on cheating. Let’s straddle that blurred line. Whadya say, baby… hey, hey, hey?”
Adult? Yes. Sleazy? Yes. Rapey? Maybe if things get out of hand at the end of the night, but that’s not actually what’s in the song.
You did read upthread where I quoted how Thicke specifically sought to degrade women with the song and video and thought it was fun, right?
To what seems to be the sad majority of men, “actually willing to talk to me politely, but then refuses to immediately fuck when I demand it” seems to be ‘mixed signals’, which is part of the issue.
Sometimes it IS fun to be degraded for women, usually in a place of trust, but it’s degrading none the less. I like it sometimes when my husband is disrespectful to me in bed.
I haven’t met any men like that since junior high school. I know a lot of people, have partied a lot, and I think that’s more of a rare boogeyman than an actual problem.
That’s not a huge gap at all- not objecting is effectively consenting to what’s happening. Surely if someone walked up to you, said “Is it ok if I take money from your wallet?” and then when you didn’t say “no”
And the situations you describe are straight-up rape regardless of when the victim finds out. What I meant was that if someone doesn’t object, or even consents, and regrets it later, it isn’t rape.
Guy here. “Problematic” isn’t even cutting it.
That ain’t what she said. I’ll repeat the part you quoted: didn’t say NO loud enough. Nowhere does that imply that they said yes or only regretted it after the fact. If this is an example, I can see why these things happen so much. :rolleyes:
Anyway, the song doesn’t register with me because I think Thicke is sleezy as fuck, so I have no opinion.