Here’s the situation: My grandfather has been going downhill for a while now. He hasn’t really been “there” for a few years, if you know what I mean. He’s recently taken a turn for the worse, and was admitted to the hospital.
He’s stopped eating and drinking. They had him on an I/V for fluids, but it’s been removed (I think). They’re trying to entice him to eat and drink on his own, but at best, he’ll take a sip of milk and say it tastes horrible, and refuses to have anything else.
Doctor says there’s nothing else that can be done, and to prepare for the worst. I’m OK with that - like I said, he’s had the mental capacity of an infant for the past few years, and the pressure of caring for him is killing my grandmother. Seeing as a full recovery just isn’t going to happen, his death would be a blessing.
So here’s my question - I’m not exactly in the loop with the doctors and everything. How long is he really going to last without eating or drinking? A week? A month? Does anyone know what’s typical in these situations?
This is a sad, but very common, turn of events. There is never a “right” decision and it must have been very difficult for you and your family.
As to how long things will take, well, without being evasive, it depends. It depends on whether an IV is given, whether your grandfather takes anything by mouth, and whether there are other factors at play such as the need for life sustaining medicines which are, or are not, being taken.
In the complete absence of fluid intake death will probably occur within a week, possibly in three or four days.
Sometimes when there is still some oral intake, people show their resilience and things are much more protracted.
Sorry for being so vague, but there really is no hard and fast answer.
Thanks for the reply. Like I said, I’m 1400 miles away, and not quite in the loop. I’m not sure if he’s on an IV or not. All I know is that he’s pretty much refusing anything by mouth. Seems odd that they’d just remove the IV and let him essentially die of thirst, but I’m no doctor.
It’s difficult, but not horribly so. It’s all tempered by my Grandmother just about killing herself taking care of him for the past couple of years. She refuses to put him in a nursing home, and he hasn’t had control of his bowels for months. He can’t hear a thing, and even the stuff he does hear he doesn’t understand. When he does talk, he’s starting to get mean, and offensive. Basically, his time has come. He’s in such poor health his quality of living is horrible.
One thing that may be of some importance to know is that although people will die without water, they apparently do not suffer so long as proper mouth care is provided by the hospital staff.
This came to light when cancer patients who declined IV fluids were altruistic enough to report how they were feeling as the end drew near. They said words to the effect that so long as the mouth was not allowed to cake up and dry out, the sensation of thirst was not an issue.
Karl is right about the suffering. My grandmother died in similar circumstances to what your grandfather is going through. Toward the end, she was unable to eat, and the only option was an operation that had only limited chance of success and no guarantee of significantly extending her life. She chose not to have the surgery. The staff kept her as comfortable and as alert as possible until the end. It was only a few day (4-5, I think) until she died.
Another point: IANAD, but I don’t think IVs can provide enough fluids to indefinitely keep someone alive. They can help limit the rate of dehydration, and even help rehydrate, but I think for an extended duration you would need a feeding tube of some sort, which may be what you grandfather didn’t want to go through.
IANADEither, but have a bit of personal experience here that may or may not be applicable. How large a person is your grandfather? That will significantly affect how long he can go without food. My step-grandfather lived for about a week when prolonged illness left him unable to eat and he didn’t want a feeding tube, but he had lost a great deal of weight before things got that bad. I, on the other hand, went through a bout of anorexia in high school, and didn’t take in anything except water for 6 weeks. I lost 45 pounds and ended up with a serious case of mono which prevented me from eating solid food for another two weeks (another 10 pounds). I can say that after about 4-5 days, as long as there’s water being taken in, you don’t feel hungry at all. But I wonder how much he’s aware of, given your description of his condition.
I’m very sorry for what you and your family are going through. May he be relieved of his suffering soon.
My grandmother recently passed (Dec 2000) – she had made it very clear to my father that she had no wish to be fed by tubes of any sort. When she stopped taking in food orally, she lasted one week.
My grandfather isn’t nearly aware enough to make a decision about a feeding tube. He’s basically been like an toddler for the past 3-4 years. He walks around, talks a little bit, will say “hi” when you walk up to him and yell “HEEELLLLLOOOO” loud enough for him to hear, but I don’t think he’s recognized me for at least 3 years. He recognizes the people who are around him all the time, usually recognizes my Dad, and sometimes knows my mother.
He’s a tiny little guy, so I doubt he’ll last long without eating. They moved him to a nursing home yesterday, he’s still confused and won’t eat or drink - even a beer, his favorite. I guess things are compounded by his prostate cancer, which is growing despite the medications he’s on.
Thanks for everyone’s views. I hope he doesn’t suffer long, if he is suffering. The good part is that he’s got tons of family around, and has visitors almost all the time.
First off, I’m so very sorry to hear about your grandfather. My grandmother died in a similar circumstance, and it was hard to see her go, but a relief when I knew she didn’t suffer anymore. I wish you strength in the coming days and weeks.
I don’t know if they are going to do this for your grandfather, but there is some information for you if you need it.
[personal thoughts]It doesn’t seem medically ethical for them to allow him to starve to death, since he is not capable of making his own medical decisions. I would guess that he would at least be on some sort of IV nutrition until he passed away, since he refuses food by mouth. [/personal thoughts]