My grandfather’s in the hospital for the third time this month. His heart’s not working properly, nor are his kidneys. This time, he slipped and fell and needed to get the cut sewn up, and while there, they did blood tests and his sodium levels are way way too low.
His quality of life sucks. He can’t see well, which means he can’t drive himself anywhere or read. My grandmother’s mind is starting to go, which means that she tells the same stories over and over, and he’s stuck living with her and listening to that. Also, she worries obsessively over everything, something else that’s driving him nuts.* It’s no wonder the man often leaves his hearing aids off. His taste buds don’t work properly, so he doesn’t really get any pleasure out of eating and is losing too much weight (I think he’s at 114 lbs at the moment).
My father and aunt have talked to him, and he now has a Do Not Resuscitate form signed- he’s basically said that he has very little to live for except for visits from us. It’s kind of cute how excited he gets when we come see him, though- last Friday I had to drive up to DC, and since they live only a few metro stops away, I stopped by for dinner. I’ve been told that he talking about how wonderful that was all weekend.
It’s really tough to watch him go through this. I called him at the hospital earlier and he sounded awful. Two years ago, after my graduation from high school, he, my aunt, and I all went to San Francisco for a week. He was in such good shape and was quite a sight- this little old man with a cane walking up and down the incredibly steep hills. He took his dog for walks every day. It’s not often you see a 93-year-old man in that kind of shape. It’s just recently that he’s gotten bad like this, and it’s been a really rapid decline.
I’ve never really had to deal with death before. I mean, sure, I had a couple of guinea pigs die when I was younger, but I’m very fortunate to have all four of my grandparents still alive. I guess I knew this would happen eventually, but he seemed so incredibly healthy for his age, and it just kind of seemed like he’d live forever. This is going to be really tough on his dog, too- the poor thing pines when he’s away.
I’m going up to visit tomorrow, and we’re hoping he’ll be out of the hospital by then. I’m just having a really hard time dealing with the knowledge that this could, quite possibly, be the last time I see him.
I’m sorry for the depressing post. I just kind of had to get this out.
*I love my grandmother very much, but I know that it’s tough for him to have to deal with.
