In this post, Sunrazor says that when she finally got painkillers while passing a kidney stone she had an emotional response to the nurse administering it. This jives with a bunch of my own experiences.
When I was really ill over a year ago I was eventually moved from a room with three other patients, one of which was a deaf and blind old man who kept losing his dentures and screaming about it and another one of which was an asshole junkie who kept waking up in the middle of the night and start playing his radio full blast to help him sleep, to a private room. When I saw the room with just one bed and my own little table and chair, I burst into tears and hugged the nurse present. And wouldn’t let go.
When I was hospitalized more recently, I talked a little with this pretty nurse about normal things that people talk about outside hospitals, and just having a normal conversation was enough to make me really want to ask her on a date. In the end I didn’t - the whole patient-nurse thing made it a bad idea - but I’ve thought about her a lot since.
I’d like to hear from nurses and other medical staff about this sort of thing. Is it common? How do you handle it? Is it annoying or endearing? Is it simply another facet of the work?
Just another facet of work. I cut patients a lot of slack over behavior shown during times of stress. Including proclamations of love (from patients of both genders) or declarations that I am a minor deity (I knew that already! )
Interesting thread. I hope there are more responses from medical folk.
I’m having my dog put to sleep later today. He’s got bone cancer. The vet I asked to do it not only agreed to come out to our house so my pup doesn’t have to deal with the stress and pain of a car ride and clinic visit, he also told me if there was anything else I wanted him to do that would make this transition easier or that would honor Idol’s memory he would do it.
If we hadn’t been talking on the phone, I probably would have hugged him and I know I’ll have to restrain myself from doing so when he is there today. Somehow that doesn’t seem appropriate, but I do want to find some way of letting him know how very much we appreciate his kindness.
You have a good vet. To thank him, first - send a thank you card. The vets I have worked with always appreciated them - and usually posted them somewhere in their office. Some clients have gone so far as to send plants or flowers, and a few have made charitable contributions in the vet’s name.
At the last clinic I worked in, a tradition had developed of regular clients bringing in snacks or goodies or fruit or edible whatever around Christmas time. Boy, did we pig out! Mrs. XXX’s rum balls were dynamite! It is rather early in the year to be thinking about Christmas, tho.
I agree with QtM, for the most part. Maintaining objectivity is just part of the job.
There have been a very few who’ve managed to breach the wall. It’s hard on both the nurse and patient when that happens.
Looking back, all of the patients that I allowed to affect me, were destined to die shortly. I suppose it made the end easier for them, but took a toll on me.
It’s part of the reason I don’t work anymore. Once I saw the pain I had to inflict on a child I cared about, I couldn’t “unsee” it with others.
It happens. Patients are subject to a lot of strong emotions. I just recognize they’re in a lot of pain, under a lot of stress, and need someone at which to direct those feelings. I’ve been thanked, cursed, wept on, screamed at… I remember the thank you’s and let the rest go through the filter.
It isn’t all bad. An acquaintance of mine (anesthesiologist) gets marriage proposals all the time from women in labor.
Oh, I already intend to send a card - to both the vet and to the vet tech who came. I think the techs get overlooked a lot. I’d already sent the vet a card with a restaurant gift certificate for all the effort he put forth on a previous surgery for the same dog. I’m glad to hear from someone who used to do the job that this is appreciated.
The practice will send a donation to our local greyhound group in Idol’s name, which I think is awfully nice.
And the vet hugged me - so that issue got solved anyway. And I’m not sure this is really a highjack of Priceguy’s thread either (at least I hope not!) - vets are medical people too and they even have to go to the point of euthanizing their patients, and that must be awfully hard at times. It would be very good, I think, for those of us with pets to hear about how they feel about that and what’s appropriate for clients to do in regards to it.
As for human medicine, I know my dad has always sent the nursing staff goodies when he’s been in the hospital for his heart problems (and he should - he’s an ornery old cuss ). They’ve told him they appreciate it and have even told him their favorite Jelly Belly flavors, so I think it’s all good.
I said it then, I’ll say it now. ANYONE who gives a woman in labor an epidural should be able to carry around a card that entitles them to a blow job (or equivalent) from any one within shouting distance. Immediately.
I’m not sure how many different ways I declared my enduring love, but it was to his assistant and anyone who helped him give me the epidural.
It is another facet of the job that can be annoying far more than it is endearing. I handle it one patient at a time. I recognize that the arrival of a baby is the best thing to happen, the happiest, most memorable day of their lives and/or a painful, terrifying ordeal. Emotions run high. I try to be what that patient needs at that time. I try to include the family as much as they want to be included. I get thanked profusely for things I do a zillion times a day and if they seem too apologetic for their bodily functions, I joke that I get paid really well.
There are very few patients that stick in my mind past the clinical problems they presented. I know that my picture is in hundreds of baby albums, holding baby on his birth day and I leave all of them at the hospital when I go home.
I would ignore amorous acts by my patients, however I have had flirtation and more from their owners. I have dated two clients (and have had propositions from a bunch more), neither resulted in a long-term relationship. I still see both clients; the fact that I’ve seen them naked makes things a little uncomfortable for me, however they seem fine with it. The fact that one of them has (and had) a husband is another thing that bothers me.
My friend’s ex-wife works in an ER. While they were still married, she got a phone call. “You saved my partner’s life…I can’t ever thank you enough…Is there anything I can do for you?”
“How did you get this number, first of all?..Oh, Google?..You’re Mr. X?..Oh, yes, that must have been Mr. Y…No, no thank you…You’re welcome…How is your partner?..Well, glad to hear it!”
About a week later, a landscaping truck pulls up to the house.
“I’m sorry, what address are you looking for?”
“This 123 Morningwood Lane?”
“Who sent you?”
“Got orders to put in three rosebushes.”
“…Is your boss a Mr. X?..Please leave…NOW.”
I’m not sure if it’s against the rules for her to accept such a “gift,” but I’d be creeped out too, if someone Googled my phone number and address and sent his crew over with anything. Never heard from the guy again, thank Og.
IANMS, but I wondered - you read a lot about how hostages and political prisoners can develop “emotional attachments” or Stockholm Syndrome, or whatever, towards their captors.
Isn’t it possible that varying the discomfort and providing occasional relief is a deliberate tactic they use, because of the involuntary emotional response that results?
Some author described it in a short story about a Nazi interrogator stirring soup on a stovetop as he questioned people (was it Stephen King’s The Body?).
Close: Summer of Corruption, from the quartet Four Seasons. And yes: he put lamb stew on a hot plate in his office. Never touched it, never looked at it, never referred to it, but when they smelled it, all their defenses crumbled.
)
). They’ve told him they appreciate it and have even told him their favorite Jelly Belly flavors, so I think it’s all good.