Oh, crap. And the OP got eaten, yet. Here’s the original text:
From: the whimpering wreck in seat 10E
Air Tran: what in the Christly Fuck was the meaning of that circus in Hobby Airport this morning? There was about as much order at the check-in desk as there was at Ton Son Nhut during the fall of Saigon. Firstly, I am completely clueless as to how it can take four agents two and a half hours to issue boarding passes to a mere 112 people. Secondly, has a departure from Hobby ever, in the whole sorry history of your ludicrous excuse for an airline, EVER gotten away from the gate less than an hour late?
OK, so we were 15 minutes down because of your abject failure to process the passengers in time, and another 20 because of the unaccompanied minor that you put off the plane. But why did we then sit baking in the sun another 45 minutes? Why, in six flights out of Hobby in the past six months, have I left more than an hour late every single freakin’ time?
And finally, why can your Atlanta departure screens and live personnel never seem to agree on the correct gate to catch my connecting flight? Since you are always always ALWAYS late, time is of the essence, and directing me to a Minneapolis-bound flight when I actually want to go to Philly just seems perverse to me.
Atlanta airport authority: about terminal C, fellas, do ya think you could put some actual food service in the damn place? Since the majority of ‘C’ is taken up by Air Tran, who serve nothing but a bag of miniature pretzels (net wt. 0.5 oz.) and a half cup of soda on their flights, and who, due to their chronic lateness, routinely force passengers to go most of a day without food or drink, it would be very nice indeed if we had a choice other than:
a) Popeye’s: disgusting, warmed-over fried chicken and your choice of mushy biscuits or day-old fries, or
b) Charley’s Steakery: disgusting, unseasoned fried meat served without condiments on mushy buns, with day-old fries.
If you can’t get round to opening up the terminal to other, more appetizing concessions, could you at least provide a bit more seating in the ones you do have? Providing seats for 40 when you have literally hundreds of hungry self-loading cargo milling about shows real consideration, let me tell you. Guess you want to keep them out in the waiting areas where you can bombard them with CNN Headline News till they beg for merciful death.
Philly airport authority: What sort of utter dolts spend tens of millions of dollars building a spiffy new Terminal F, but neglect to make a provision for hotel and car park shuttle buses to pick up returning passengers? Peons such as I, who don’t have the luxury of personal drivers to pick us up, have to schlep our own fifty pounds of bags a half mile to the pickup curb at Terminal D/E.
Signs at the ‘F’ carousels blithely promise free luggage carts (on the second floor of course, not down here where we need them), but are there any? Are there fuck. You see, the carts are ‘Smarte Carts’, for the use of which the concessionaire charges $3.00 each elsewhere in the airport. So, of course, they have a REAL incentive to push a few down to ‘F’ for the damn whining freeloaders there, don’t they?
Please address these concerns immediately.
Yeah, right.