Forgot to mention that neither of us was seeing anyone at the time. It turned out she knew him, but they hadn’t gotten together yet.
“Help! I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery”
My favorite: “It needs brains to be a real fool”
In college, I was at a restaurant with 9 others. One friend had an evening class so had to leave early. When the cookies came, there were ten. I don’t recall what any of the nine we each got said, but before we left, we cracked open the last one and it read, “He who departs is soon forgotten.”
I got one from Panda Express (you find them in food courts) that read “Adjust Finances – Make Budgets, To Improve Your Financial Standing”. Whatever happened to “You will find money”?
“Beware of psychic vampires who will sap your vital wellness.”
So of course I passed it around the table, got a whole bunch of “… in bed” comments. But it wasn’t really a fortune! More of a warning, or motto, or something.
In the late '80s, a group of us were out for dinner, and I and another person at the table both got this same fortune. Now, My future SO was at that table (it took us another 5 years to get there) but me and the other holder of this fortune? No way.
Last year, my SO had recently gotten a promotion and was working crazy long hours, totally stressed out. I’d known he was going to be late, to I ordered Chinese delivery. After dinner, he opens his cookie and it read “You have a good start, now work harder”. When I came back into the kitchen after putting something away, I found him standing over the sink, lighter in one hand, a flaming fortune in the other.
** adds “The Flaming Fortunes” to list of band names **
OK, this one is such a classic, I was sure someone would post it.
A few years ago, a co-worker and I would eat lunch at a Chinese buffet once a week, the same day. We always paid separate. The Chinese lady who ran the register knew us on sight. Well, one day my co-worker got a fortune:
The Best Things In Life Are Free
He took it up to the Chinese lady and showed it to her, saying, “That was the best lunch I’ve ever had!”
The lady looked at him like he had a third eye, then at the fortune, then said
“Very funny. $7.75”
$7.75 was the cost of lunch buffet and a drink.
At this moment, I’m staring a t a fortune that reads, “The stock market may be your ticket to success”.
Then again, I guess, maybe it isn’t.