So, after having Chinese food (well, “Chinese” food, but that’s beside the point), I’ve received a couple of fortune cookies. One of them is possibly the first snarky/ slightly passive aggressive fortune I’ve ever gotten: “The odds of hitting your target go up dramatically when you aim at it.” Another time, at a restaurant, two people in my group got rare repeat fortunes: “No.” One other person at the table got a “Yes.”
So, are there any memorable fortune cookies you’ve run into over the years? Either funny, stupid, weird, or even (gasp) accurate?
I forgot where, but the was a place that got their cookies from a company that had apparently gotten tired of the whole banal fortune thing, and started making absurdly specific fortunes.
A couple I remember
'Your flight next Tuesday, will be delayed"
“The tax deduction you are concerned about, will be allowed”
I got a double copy in one cookie that said, “Your lover will never leave you”. I showed it to my girlfriend at the time and she visibly stiffened…not a good sign! We broke up two weeks later. Then we got back together. Then we broke up. Then we got back together. Then we broke up for good. For a moment or two, I really thought that fortune would come true.
When I was vacationing Ireland, our family got some really strange fortunes. Mine was “just because you think you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you”. We looked up the company, which brought us to this list.
My favorite is “We’re sorry, we had a message that would have changed your life forever,but the fat guy at table six got there first”
Got a fortune a few months ago which read: "Happiness is around the next corner, wealth is just down the street."
Since I’d just been turned down for a job at a company just down the street, one that I was really counting on, that fortune kinda felt like a slap in the face. :dubious:
My sister, the first of us siblings to get married, once invited my dad over for dinner, and even made homemade fortune cookies. When he opened his, it said something like, “Your family is going to be bigger soon…Grandpa!” She waited eagerly for him to read it and gasp and congratulate her. Instead he glanced at it, smiled vaguely, and ate the cookie.
The day my friend graduated from college, he was telling me about how he was a little scared. He didn’t have any immediate job prospects and didn’t really know what to do with his life. The future was one big blank.