OK- I got this a while ago and it still hangs on the side of my fridge:
“You can depend on the trust of the collective”
It is Borg or Communist wisdom?
All right- what wacky or great fortunes have YOU gotten lately?
Fortune cookies are irrelevant.
…okay, I was on a date with my husband (then boyfriend) and I got one that said, ‘‘Happiness is just across the table from you.’’
And he was. 
Not nearly as cool as the Borg Fortune, but I never forgot that one.
“Never smell the inside of a hat.”
“You have great physical prowess and an iron constitution”
…in bed.
I laminated it and keep it in my wallet. Best “in bed” fortune I ever got.
My ex once got a fortune that said “Everyone thinks that you are the greatest.”
If only he hadn’t believed it so much. 
Really? How odd.
“You are going to get some new clothes.”
Wow. I can make that one come true!
I’ve always thought that it was neat that I was born in the year of the horse and my husband in the year of the tiger. A perfect match, acording to the placemat!
“Help, I’m stuck in a fortune cookie factory”
(OK, not really. But there’s always hope).
“Consistency should be maintained in your style of dress.”
No, I didn’t go out and buy 7 Mao jackets.
If you eat Chinese takeout every day, every number is lucky for you.
My absolute, all-time favorite?
It didn’t come true, but at the time it was exciting news.
My favorite was:
“You remind people that there exist other beauties in the world.”
Say what? Did my cookie just insult me?
“You will prosper in the field of higher education.”
…and I’m going to be looking for a job as a professor in a year or two…
“Double your fun with twins.”
It was a New Year’s celebration with friends and the host ordered special fortune cookies for our Chinese theme.
“You are always courteous to the other fellow”
Hmmmm… That one might have been better for** Otto** or Sampiro.
I got two fortune cookies at lunch one day. The first said “The end will be here soon.” The second cookie was empty. :eek:
About an hour later, a tornado warning was issued for my area.
:eek: You’re kidding!!! That is absolutely freeky.
ANother favorite- “You will be $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you got the buffet) soon.”
<damn you for making me de-lurk>
Right now my favorite (on my cubicle wall) is
“Very little is needed to make a happy life.”
The others I like (in a coffee mug on my desk):
“You’ll accomplish more later if you have a little fun this weekend”
“Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that Way” (never noticed the cap W before)
“Hope for the best but prepare for the worst”
“No one is happy who does not think himself so”
“You are strong and sensitive”
“A good reputation is more valuable than money”
“Never find your delight in another’s misfortune”
</dyfmd>
“You’ll be chosen to be heir of a kingdom in Europe.”
This one has been on my fridge for two years now. I’m beginning to lose hope.
“You long to see the pyramids of Egypt” (and I do)
“You are next in line for promotion” (I’m still waiting)
“You look pretty.”
Aw, thanks.