I was looking on AllRecipes tonight for a soft sugar cookie recipe, and ran across this one. Alisha’s review proved particularly memorable:
“Butmeg had a good tast in a sugar cookie though”
Butmeg-flavored cookies. I’m torn in deciding if this means the cookies tasted like ass or if they were flavored with the essence an especially contradictory woman. (“But, but, but! That’s all Meg ever says! And I’m tired of it!”)
Reading the reviews on this site has made me lose a little bit of my faith in humanity. For example, from Hannah: “This was good and all it was just that something in it made one of my daughters throw-up! Well it could be worse.”
Could be worse? Madam, one of your daughter vomited after eating these cookies. How could it be worse? They’re the premier source for botulism in North America? Set your kitchen on fire? Caused a third world war? She rated the recipe four out of five stars, by the way. So apparently vomiting only takes away one star.
Anybody else ever run across some gems in recipe or food reviews?
Actually I kind of like the Dutch Almond Windmill cookies, so maybe that nutmeg cookie and almond extract icing might be, OK. Although, I probably would incorporate rather than use a frosting delivery… that peachand apricot pit extract is some supremely weird shit.
I fixed a squash soup from a recipe in Taste of Home. One of the comments from the lady who submitted it to the magazine was that she thought she didn’t like squash until she tried this soup.
I decided to cut the amount of cheddar cheese in the soup way down, on the grounds that I do like squash. (Why else would one fix a soup made from squash? OK, she probably tried a soup someone else made first.)
Yep! Or, “My husband really hates fish, and he didn’t care for this dish at all.” If your husband really hates fish, why the fuck would you try my garlic roasted salmon recipe in the first place? :smack:
However, the one that makes me go grr is one I got on a recipe - not mine, actually - I posted Rachael Ray’s “Hungarian Sausage and Lentil Stoup”, mostly for my own use, back before I paid for a Private Cookbook section on Recipezaar. The review: “Sorry to say, it may taste great, but have nothing to do with hungarian lentils.”
Do we have problems with adjectives, or are we merely an idiot? (My best guess is that the “Hungarian” was put in there by RR because the predominant flavor of the stoup is smoked paprika with an assist from fresh rosemary - the sausage is Italian and the lentils are…lentils.) And the fucker gave me one star when he hasn’t even tried the recipe - the two people who did try it and review it each gave it 5 stars and raving reviews, and here this Hungarian nazi brings my average rating down a star and a half. :mad: My pride isn’t really damaged here, since it wasn’t really my recipe, but it just pisses me off, y’know?
Food Box: Go Or No Go? Not only are there several threatening references to the UN and the unusual repetition of the phrase “Screw Flanders,” the author once stated that the salad tastes like bark and the potatoes were very grrrrrrr. It reads like it was written by a dog.
WhyNot, that lentil soup is delicious. I’m basically a fan of any lentil’n’sausage soup, but the Rachael Ray recipe is great. (Even if I find her incredibly annoying, her recipes make delicious food.) Mmm, paprika and sausage and lentils. Now I’m really disappointed we’re having pasty for dinner, and that’s just not right.
mobo85, is that a book? Do you think by “Flanders” the author means The Simpsons character or the field in France? I mean, yeah, screw those poppies. Daisies are where it’s at. Baffling.
Yes, it’s the Simpsons character, seeing as Homer was the author. It was the first thing I could think of. (The bizarre title is due to the fact that his typewriter had no “e” key.) I was hoping at least one person would get the reference- I found it groin-grabbingly transcendent.
I feel your annoyance. It makes me want to go post a review of my own “I like lentil soup and even though I haven’t tried the recipe that 1 star guy is an idiot so I’m giving it 5 stars”.
Harriet, those are hilarious. I especially enjoy these:
“Try replacing the salt w/ a sodium bicarbonate and cocaine hydrochloride. Be sure to boil off all the water. You should hear a cracking sound when you’re done. Very popular! Couldn’t sell enough of it. I like to call this version “Rock Salted Water for Cooking Up.” Good for keeping your ho’s in line too.”
“This is a great recipe, but a couple of simple substitutions make it REALLY stand out! Instead of water I used scotch whiskey, and substitued soda for the salt. You can skip the pesky boiling part… just pour it over ice and you’re good to go!! (Hic)”
“As Nicole Richie’s chef, I prepare this on an almost daily basis and she can’t get enough of it! She likes to pair it with a bottle of 1999 Valium, but I think a 2000 Percocet would go just as well.”
(Although I really am curious as to why all the ones about commonly abused substances made me laugh. What the hell, brain?)
