Through his posts and perspective, he touched people he never met, even people he’s never interacted with and are known by no one on these boards…like me. I’ll miss him a lot.
An etiquette question: is it ever too late to drop a condolence note? Askia’s mother’s address is in the linked obit–I was wondering if, beyond a point, condolence notes become reminders of something survivors would rather not have brought up. Or is it always okay? Even from people who never knew him IRL? I don’t want to suggest that his friends and fans drop such notes en masse without putting this question into high relief.
I saw this thread for ages without clicking on it. Sorry I did now, as I thought he was just another one who had moved on from what is still only a website.
But still only a a website or not, he was one of us. I didn’t have a lot to do with him, but I enjoyed his presence here - some great posts.
Shit. He was a brilliant, provocative, funny writer. I know he must have had a tremendous effect on folks IRL. His death is a giant loss.
Oh my god! He was such a great poster. Why couldn’t this have happened to (insert your least favorite banned poster here) instead?
How do you have a heart attack at 36, anyway? Big guy? Bad heart?
This is so sad.
e: I had no idea “Askia” was his real name. What a cool name! …
I don’t know anything about his health, but he once posted about trying to lose weight by bicycling, and I think he said he was about 5’6" and 250 lbs.
Ouch. That’s ten inches less and sixty pounds more than me. I guess that’ll do it.
Fuck. I never heard anything about this. This really sucks; **Askia **was good people.
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe one note, with a link to this thread, so she can read it if she wants or ignore us? I don’t know. It is just past the one year anniversary of his death, so one can assume he’s been on her mind a lot lately anyhow…
I’m shocked and saddened, too. I adored Askia, and assumed he’d left after, y’know, board stuff drove so many people away.
I suppose, just for old time’s sake, I should add one final: Dude, Askia’s BLACK?!*
*In-joke, just in case Mom Askia does come by. **Askia **was never shy of mentioning his race, but it never seemed to stick in anyone’s head. So whenever he’d say something about his black culture, school or experience, at least one person would experience the revelation, sometimes for the second or third time, that **Askia **was a black dude.
I think he was the only poster who liked The Boondocks more than me. I guess he didn’t get to see the second season.
That’s the one that made me remember his name, which is a big deal for a sievehead like me. Damn.
I’ve wondered about him from time to time, but figured he just got tired of the boards. He was one of the people I’d hoped would show back up when we returned to free posting. This is sad news indeed.
My condolences to his family and friends. RIP
It is never too late to send a condolence letter – just say “I’ve only just now heard of the death.”
And condolence letters are one form of communication where pen and paper is infinitely better than an email. Pen and ink, people, handwritten. It doesn’t have to be long, it doesn’t have to be complicated – just “he was a good guy, he touched my life, he is missed.”
I don’t think it’s ever too late. In fact, it might be better than sooner, in some ways - a lady I work with was just talking about how when her husband died and people stopped talking about him all the time, she kept bringing him up constantly because she was afraid that people had started to forget him, and when the anniversary of his death came she was kind of hurt that there was no weeping and wailing and rending of clothing and gnashing of teeth in the street. We were talking about the way my grandmother always tells these incredibly depressing stores about Grandpa (“Dad never got to go back home to our place after the stroke…”) and what she said really made me think.
I agree about pen and ink.
This is very sad indeed!
I often wonder if any of our past posters have disappeared for a similar kind of reason.
I only knew him here for a short time, but he touched me - I didn’t expect this at all when I started this thread. Shit.
I can’t believe how this is affecting me - I’m really crying here at my desk at work. I’ll send a condolence note to his mother.
Dopers: I love you guys - I never said it to him, but I have the time to say it to you.
Goes without saying. We have an address from the obit, but not an e-mail for Askia’s mom.
indeed it is never to late to send a note. perhaps his family didn’t know he posted here.
i would think that a mom would like to know people think of her son and remember him.
may askia’s memory be eternal.
That’s depressing, but still kind of nice that over a year later dopers would track it down and find out.
I just figured that he was outta here for whatever reason. He was a really great guy. So young.
I liked his stories, but I also liked that he could disagree and not have to get nasty with it. We need more Askias in the world.