Men and Moving House. Wish I had a videocam.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I thought about posting this in GQ because I am DAMNED SURE there is some sort of biological reason for it… :stuck_out_tongue:

Has anybody witnessed the hilarity that ensues when two men try to move a houseful of furniture from one abode to another?

First, they can never agree about which way the couch/table/fridge is meant to fit through the doorway. It takes ten minutes of verbal bullshit before they even attempt the execution.

Then they argue about what should be placed where in the removal van to ensue maximum space efficiency. This takes an extra hour of “It should go here”, “No, fuckwit, it goes HERE” back and forth and back and forth and…

They argue about whose trolley is the best to move the boxes from the shed, and they complain about the others’ lack of stamina when hoiking the box up into the removal van.

Of course they THEN bitched and fussed about who was actually going to *drive *the van. “I’ve got an endorsed licence”, “No, you’re a crazy driver, I want my stuff in one piece”, “We’ll never get there at the rate YOU drive”, “I’M paying for the van, and you’re not, fuck off”.

At the end (after a repeat of the scenarious noted above) one offers the other a couple of hundred dollars for his days work…and this turns into another cockfight. “Here, have the money”, “No, I don’t need your fucking money, I’m HAPPY to help you”, “NO TAKE THE MONEY ARSEHOLE, I would’ve paid a removalist twice that for the job”…and on and on and on.

The other lady and I were industrious during the day: while they were comparing skills and plumage, we were busy filling boxes inside, loading them in the van, cleaning fridges and cupboards and finding homes for all the crap that they hadn’t bothered to ‘box’ previously. And laughing at their chest pounding as welll of course. :smiley:
What is it about men and moving?

2

We only settle for the best, that being ourself :stuck_out_tongue:

3

I’m not sure what you mean.

4

dag-nabbit I double-posted

5

Obviously I cant speak decisively for the entire male gender, but, when it comes to moving, I like things done “my way or the highway,” and I think many other men do too, especially in situations that the OP speaks of.

Upon re-reading, my initial comment does seem a bit sexist. My apologies.

6

No, I think the sexism is appropriate here, at least to show that men are complete dicks when it comes to moving house.

:smiley:

7

I want to give you such a pinch :stuck_out_tongue:

8

When I help people move, I take charge because I actually know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve done somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 moves, some of them my own, as well as countless runs to and from storage units. You would not believe the amount of stuff I can cram into a given space.

9

See my point then?

Hasn’t every bloke probably done an equivalent or more moves? And they all claim they ‘know what the hell they are doing’ even though the person they are working with maintains the same???

It’s a bloke thing. Probably testosterone.

:smiley:

10

While it is true that testosterone can lead to timewasting male displays, some of us chaps have had experience of working as a team. :cool:

We enjoy having clearly defined roles and showing those adorable little ladies how useful we are, especially when it comes to brute strength (i.e. lifting a not-too-heavy couch).

The sooner the moving is finished to the satisfaction of the female, the more time there is for our necks* to be rubbed. :smiley:

*a euphemism you think? - I couldn’t possibly comment…

11

Wait a minute…

I think you answered your own question. How much time did they spend NOT working, but standing around with a beer discussing the work to come, while you and the other lady actually packed and moved? Sounds like our silverbacks here figured out the easy way to move - let the wimminfolk do it!

Bastards. It’s all sound and fury and no actual MOVING! And we’ve been letting them get away with it and even thinking it’s amusing!

But we’re onto you guys now!

:wink:

12

Every time I’ve moved, the men in the mix were there as strong backs, only. They were told at the beginning of the day that they would not be making any decisions. I would be telling them what to load where and when.
I made sure they were well fed, and hydrated, but no beer until the whole move was complete.
The day went like clockwork. :smiley:
Of course, these men were my younger brothers and my husband. I doubt I would have so much influence over other men.

13

Ooo, so it is not only men that take the “My way or the highway” approach and think, no, know they know better than everyone else. :smiley:

14

Funny, I’ve never had that experience. And I’ve participated in a lot of moves. I guess it’s because my friends and I always just wanted to get the damn thing over with, and go on to beer and pizza.

The rule of “no beer before the move is finished” is one that my guy friends and I have always observed. We do it because. . . well, we know ourselves too well.

15

Snap. I was going to say the same thing. They know that moving a few pieces of furniture doesn’t actually take all that long. They know if they finish it early they’ll just be given other less manly tasks to do, such as packing glasses in boxes (no time for “neck” rubs when there’re boxes to be packed.) They figure the longer they spend doing not much, the less they’ll have to do.

You should see how long it takes me to mow the lawns sometimes!

16

I really like the word “removalist.”

17

You’re dealing with the wrong men.

I’ve been involved in perhaps a dozen serious moves, and I believe every one has gone smoothly. Far from constant argument, the group has moulded itself into an efficient team, and derived genuine satisfaction from a job well done.

I certainly don’t claim this must always be so. A reasonable sense of subordination to a competent leader is recommended. An incompetent, lazy bully inclined to appoint himself boss would not help.

As long as we’re being sexist, I’ll note that women can be a great help as long as they know their place. Pack small stuff into largish (but liftable), strong, well-labeled boxes. Don’t block access to doors. Don’t try to dictate the order in which items are removed. Don’t make unneeded suggestions as to how to pack stuff into the truck (which, unless the truck is far bigger than necessary, requires a spatial-mechanical sense that a minority of men and only a handful of women have). Do prepare suitable food and drink.

18

I honestly don’t know anybody who has done as many moves as I have. And I don’t just stand around waiting for crap to be moved aside so I can wheel out the refrigerator, either; I pack dishes, tape boxes, stuff compact cars full of small items. Once everything is cleared out, I spackle holes, scrub walls, mop floors, steam clean carpets. You’d hardly guess anybody ever lived there at all.

Empty braggarts cower before my mighty moving knowledge.

19

My mom’s better at it than me. I once commented that given a pile of stuff and some other stuff to be added to it, I would maintain the size of the pile, while my mom would make it smaller.

20

That’s weird. I had a friend help me move a few weeks ago (we are both male) and we didn’t have any arguments over anything. We did a great job and congratulated ourselves at the end of it. What’s wrong with your men?